Tuxedo in the closet, gold band in a box
Two days from the altar she went and called the whole thing off
What he thought he wanted, what he got instead
Leaves him broken and grateful
I passed understanding a long, long time ago And the simple home of systems and answers we all know What I thought I wanted, what I got instead Leaves me broken and somehow peaceful
I keep wanting you to be fair But that’s not what you said I want certain answers to these prayers But that’s not what you said
When I get to heaven I’m gonna go find Job
I want to ask a few hard questions, I want to know what he knows
About what it is he wanted and what he got instead
How to be broken and faithful
What I thought I wanted
What I thought I wanted
What I thought I wanted
What I thought I wanted
Staring in the water like Esops foolish dog
I can’t help but reflect on what it was I almost lost
What it was I wanted, what I got instead
Leaves me broken and grateful
I’m broken and grateful I want to be broken and grateful I want to be broken, peaceful, faithful, grateful, grateful I want to be broken, peaceful, faithful, grateful, grateful
(Song: What I thought I wanted, Sara Groves)
**Hope is getting better - it seems like the antibiotics are starting to help her infected gland in her neck. She has had two doses of three for Malaria so she should be much better tomorrow. I know that Grandmas and aunties worry a lot so I wanted to update. We had an odd power blip this morning that totally locked up one of our computers -- so we were not on line to update until now. TIH.
The depth of those lyrics speak to me. I have always liked this song because I believe that it is possible to be both broken and grateful. I feel like I live in the conflict of that unusual place ... Feeling both despair and brokenness along with hope and gratitude. They don't seem like they should go together, but they do.
Does that make any sense at all?