Love from Annie ~ Lydie B. ~ Phoebe

Dear Grandma & Grandpa,
We miss you - we love you - we want you to see how big we're getting! When will you come visit us again!?!? Let's get something on the calendar because as you can imagine we are quite popular and that sort of demand causes our schedules to fill quickly. Please check with our manager and let her know when you'll next be heading south. We are saving our very best tricks for your visit.

Warmest Regards, Annie, Lydia, Phoebe




Baby photos are a replacement for words of substance, obviously we're totally out of those lately.

(Annie 14 months, Lydie 16 months, Phoebe 27 months)

Phoebe, House, Police ... and More

• Phoebe is big into screaming when she is angry. Lydia and Annie copy Phoebe. We need a new leader.She looks very sweet in that photo. Don't be fooled. ;)
  
• This is where we live. Like many homes here, it is all cement construction. There is not a single piece of drywall in our house. We were very thankful to find a clean and nice house that had never been rented before. Downstairs is a family room, dining room, kitchen, porch/front room, one bedroom and one bathroom. Upstairs there are three bedrooms and two baths and the giant wrap around patio where we do all of our smack-talking and sit and listen to roosters as we unwind.The roosters live to the right and the generator haters live to the left.
  
  In the back yard there are separate quarters with two rooms and a bathroom.Tipap has one room and Jeronne has the other. They are free to be in the house anytime they want/need to be ... we've all adjusted well to sharing living quarters. At first it was very weird, but over time we've got it mostly figured out.
  
  

• Troy just got a letter from the famous firm in San Antonio known as "Linebarger Goggan Blair and Sampson" telling him the great State of Texas still wants money for a seat belt ticket he got in 2005. He is a wanted man. We did not intentionally ignore it, there was some court date but we had already moved here and then we forgot about it. He either needs to pay it or never ever return to Texas ...
  
• Troy visited "Love a Child" today with the group from MN. He has long been curious about it and said it was quite an operation. There was on police stop that required some smooth talking. (notice the Troy and police theme here?) The van that we borrow for teams has lapsed insurance (yes you are required to get insurance here and no it does not pay for anything when you get in an accident) and we've had a heck of a time getting it renewed. Nothing .... and I do mean nothing seems to happen without four extra steps and a lot of headaches.
  
• Don't hold back your questions on the sporty - fun - gas efficient Suburban - your purchase of a Suburban will fund the education of one point two five little Livesay people next year. That will bring you such satisfaction and warm feelings as you drive around town looking sooo so good... But before you go to Texas, be sure to transfer the title.
  
• Tina heads home today. :( We are sad.
• The country is getting ready to celebrate Carnival this weekend and next week ... things get a bit nutty - we're hoping to catch some of it with the camera and post photos soon.
  

Updates of the Random Variety

• Paige's Kids Club had a few rough weeks. Gorge was not letting the kids come because they had to work. Those are his words, not ours. Last Sunday four came about an hour late. Paige is doing great with them and they seem to have fun while they are here with her. Nehemie is also back, for which we have no real explanation yet. On Sunday Gorge informed us that he loved us, would do anything for us, and he means anything ... and also that he had just had quite a bit to drink.
  
• Christianne is all up to date on her rent and seems to be doing great with baby Ella.
• Natasha is looking for a house and coming to Tuesday classes.
• There is a team in from MN. We're sort of peripherally helping with the group. They're working out at Chambrun (that means something to a few readers) for the next two days. We'll hook back up with them Thursday.
  
• Some funny guy wrote to Troy and said when he googled searched "missions in haiti without legalism" that we came up. That totally entertains. We like that guy.
  
• Paige is all starry eyed mushy gushy smiley happy over a boy. It is cute and scary all at once. I suppose it will be one long string of romances and broken hearts from here on out ... five girls feels like quite a few to calmly steer through this stuff. We may need some bubble wrap for the heart.
  
• My sister is here one more day. We are making the most of it. Seven nights is not very many when it is your sister.
• Was entertained to witness the cheesiest cheese of all cheesy nerdy short-term-missionary type guys the other night. He was over the top with his bless you bless you bless you Bless the Lord bless you Christian-ese. Maybe you had to be there. I probably cannot do it justice. It was embarrassing. He spoke English to the locals VERY LOUDLY though, so that is always good. I know I understand Creole much better WHEN SOMEONE SCREAMS IT AT ME. (And yes I know he could be very sincere and that I am mean.)
  
• We ran 12 miles today, it was fun to bring Tina on a longer run. It went well, no major troubles. When we returned home I found out from my Mom on the phone that I am too old to be running that far. This is her way of saying she does not want me to run in Haiti. Ever. Period. If I am too old to run ... then she must basically be ready to cash it in all together - all things being relative. (Hi MOM! I'll be fine. Enough with the worry already.)
• In one week we beat another couple in a competition of sorts, won a pair of Brooks running shoes, AND almost found a buyer for our '99 Suburban. A great week!
  
• But we did not find a buyer so you should totally buy our Suburban. It is VERY pretty. 6K is all it takes. Write us for all of the fabulous details.
• Four + pounds of cheese now consumed and gone forever.

PAP from above

 

 

Cheese Glorious Cheese

Thanks MOM and DAD for hooking us up with some dairy!

YAY!

tinaisheretinaisheretinaisheretinaishere! Yay-yay-yay-yay!

I Run

7:00 am-
I am off and running.

The sun is beginning to climb high into the sky. The streets are crowded. Each person seems to go about their business with purpose. Everywhere I look I see throngs of people trying to make a few gourdes. They sell bananas and eggs and deep fried plantains. They negotiate price, they trade, they make their way.

A pregnant woman who looks to be expecting her child today balances a basket full of mangoes on her head as she hurries toward a friend motioning for her to come quickly. The air is thick with the diesel from the overburdened roads. A haze of smoke from burning trash hangs in front of me. Dust kicks into the air with each passing car. We all breathe it in, we all exhale it out. I run.

The foot finds very little even ground on which to land as garbage and rocks are scattered all around. On the corner goats hang upside down by their legs off of sputtering tap-taps as people push in trying to pay the driver for their ride. Just above our heads an enormous United Nations helicopter whirls, deafeningly loud, as soldiers gaze down upon the chaos of the city. The sound is overwhelming, it seems to be bouncing off of the cement houses and amplifying as it does.

Loaded automatic weapons are cocked and ready as white truck after white truck of Brazilian men in fatigues roll by. A small child walks alone with a five gallon bucket of water on her head, dust whirls around her feet as she walks, it appears she herself has not had a drink in days. Giant piles of reeking trash jut out into the roadway. Workers in yellow t-shirts scoop it up. Their work won't soon be complete. Two men argue and begin to push while frightened little ones peek from behind their mother's skirt.

Outside of the giant Embassy people shove and elbow jockeying for position to tell their stories to the guards, trying to get their chance to see an employee and ask for a visa to visit another land. Cars and trucks strategically speed up and slow down fighting to park in a place where they can see the most. A woman exits weeping, her request to go see her ill father has been denied.

Another half mile down the road, trucks jammed full with people and animals honk impatiently waiting for a chance to turn - an accident blocks the road. No police arrive; the angry and injured must fend for themselves today. A silver streak appears overhead as an American Airlines flight screams toward landing. People don't stop what they're doing to look up in the sky. They keep selling, pushing, moving, surviving.

In the distance, as far as the eye can see, more and more and more of the same. I run.

In my right ear, I have my mp3 player on as loud as it will go. Derek Webb reminds me This Too Shall Be Made Right. The combination of the music in my right ear and what I am taking in with my left ear and the dozens of situations I see around me cannot be easily reconciled or accepted. Does God see this too? A wave of something that feels like grief hits me. I am bombarded by a multitude of thoughts. I run.

I find myself feeling such admiration for the endurance of the people around me, for their ability to do so much with so little. I wonder how they do it. I find it unfair, even ugly. I feel angry. I feel weak. While I admire the strength I see, I somehow simultaneously feel pity. They probably don't want my pity. I wonder why it cannot be easier for them. Tears stream down my face and I run and run and run. And I try to make sense of it all.

Derek Webb - This Too Shall Be Made Right -

people love you the most for the things you hate
and hate you for loving the things that you cannot keep straight
people judge you on a curve
and tell you you’re getting what you deserve
this too shall be made right

children cannot learn when children cannot eat
stack them like lumber when children cannot sleep
children dream of wishing wells
whose waters quench all the fires of Hell
this too shall be made right

the earth and the sky and the sea are all holding their breath
wars and abuses have nature groaning with death
we say we’re just trying to stay alive
but it looks so much more like a way to die
this too shall be made right

there’s a time for peace and there is a time for war
a time to forgive and a time to settle the score
a time for babies to lose their lives
a time for hunger and genocide
this too shall be made right

I don’t know the suffering of people outside my front door
I join the oppressors of those who i choose to ignore
I’m trading comfort for human life
and that’s not just murder it’s suicide
this too shall be made right

.............................

The song in my right ear changes. I pick up the pace as I am nearing my home and when I pray a strange peace washes over me -
I am listening to these lyrics:
Mercy, weep over me Let Your tears wash me clean - Majesty, be merciful with me ... mercy mercy mercy.
And I pray for mercy as I run.

Field of Dreams

Suburbia

Merci Jezi ?

Thank you Jesus ...

uh ... ahem ... for the 'flipping of the bird' stickers for the back of our bus.
(?)

Appreciate it.

And ... it has been a long time since we last featured a "Kennedy" ... go here for explanation.
Last Sunday this guy in pink was standing next to us in church ... which made his shirt that much funnier to the immature people (with cameras) at church.

It says: "If you think I am a B word - you should meet my sister" Allllrighty then. Back to praise and worship.
(The immature prefer to remain anonymous - for their own protection.)

We had such an amazingly fun weekend. Friday night we made salsa and had a family dance party. Saturday we went to a crazy-great birthday party with ponies! Sunday we had church, lunch with Big Zach, and some chill time.

Hoping your weekend was great too ... Auntie Tina comes this week and the troops are more than a little excited for that.

(Tina, Noah is watching Evita over and over in preparation of your arrival.)

Theme: Three

Our three year anniversary in Haiti passed us by recently.

I was looking through old photos and found this one of Troy and most of our kids- taken in February of 2006. (Hope must have been napping or something???)

Three little girls were not even on the radar screen yet. A lot changes in three years, huh?

Natasha

On Tuesday this sad lady came to talk to Beth. I walked in a few minutes after the pregnancy test was given. I could tell there was stress in the room.

A test confirmed that Natasha is pregnant.

Like any woman who finds herself pregnant and not wanting to be, Natasha was incredibly emotional and upset. She cried hard and said she needed to leave immediately to go to the hospital to "take care of it".

Beth calmed her down a bit and tried to talk to her about her initial fears. Natasha said that if the people she lives with find out she is pregnant again, they will kick her out. She said they told her that and she cannot let them find out or she and her children will be homeless.

We asked a lot of questions and learned that Natasha does not necessarily want to abort the baby but she feels trapped and fears losing her house. She is not ready to decide if she will parent the baby but she was willing to hear us out on the choices available.

I spoke with her a bit about my own experience and understanding unplanned/crisis pregnancy and the deep fear and shame that comes with that. She listened intently but in the end she said, "It is not the same". I could not disagree. It is not the same. I had dozens more options and way more support. It is not the same. I told her she was right, but that deciding quickly was not necessary and that time was on her side. I encouraged her to think about things for a week or two.

Natasha is undecided. If she could find a new place to live she might have more options. She cannot come to Thursday class yet because if people in the room on Thursday know the folks she lives with they will tell her housemates that she is pregnant and then she'll be kicked out. She stopped in today but did not stay for the class for that reason.

This situation is heartbreaking, not unlike many you've probably read countless times as you cruise Haiti blogs. I know that God prompts us to respond to different needs at different times. Some needs spur me to action, others do not.

If there are any of you out there that feel a prompting to enter into this situation, please write me. We are attempting to raise rent money to move Natasha to a new location and some support $ for the next 18 months. We will be asking her to participate in literacy classes in exchange for this assistance.

She'll be coming back to speak with us soon to see what we're able to offer her. At this point no promises have been made.

tl7inhaiti@yahoo.com *Edit - Five families have indicated an interest in helping Natasha, we might have this covered now.*

Bathing Beauties

Troy and I split bathing duties up. He takes boys, I take girls. The math would suggest that he is getting the easier assignment, but the math lies. I can bathe four girls in half the time he can bathe two boys.

In 28 hours Jeronne returns. I. Love. that. woman. So much.



Random:
Read this. I have dozens of sarcastic comments, but those people, in that building, ultimately decide the fate of my adoption so I'll keep them to myself.

Winter Blues?

I know this will annoy everyone north of Missouri, but folks around here are giddy happy today because it is "cold" (70) and cloudy.

The kids celebrated when they saw the clouds. Troy has a bounce in his step.

Brrrrrrrr.

Geronne, Come Home!

We're keeping up with dishes and kids. And when I say keeping up I mean they all went to bed in dry clothing having had something placed in front of them that we called "dinner". EDH comes on for an hour every 15 to 18 hours, which is really just a way for them to taunt us and make us feel crazy. The entire missionary community tries to predict EDH, to capitalize on the city power by having a laundry load ready and waiting, the pump switch ready to pump the tank on the roof full of water ... but 17 minutes of EDH does not fill the tank and only drives them further into their deep depression.

We laughed non stop on this site (despair.com) They bring sarcasm to a whole new level. If you think sarcasm is the lost spiritual gift, you might want to check it out.

David Crowder Band - The Glory of it All

We love listening to fun, alive worship music. We have lots of favorites, but Crowder is our most favoritest fave. We think he needs to eat a sandwich, but other than that we have not one criticism.

Enjoy.

Survival Mode - 4 day Marathon begins now

For the next four days you will hear very little from Livesay Family Headquarters. We need to focus on keeping small people diapered, fed and alive while Jeronne is gone. Forget about clean, we are hard-core realists and clean does not make the list. (Jeronne says she will return Saturday.)

It appears that EDH has pulled up stakes and left our neck of the woods. I hope someone is benefiting from this. People in Jacmel: Are you getting round the clock power now???? I sure hope so. In the last 40 hours EDH has come on exactly 0 times. When your mood and ability to cope is directly linked to the number of hours the city provides electricity, things can get a bit ugly in times like this.

Yesterday Phoebe got her thumb shut in the hinge side of a door. Her entire nail came off in one piece. There was blood. There was screaming. She has a gigantic wrap on her right hand and seems to be coping with the pain pretty well now. Benedryl came to the rescue at one point.

So far this morning only one glass bottle of liquid has been pulled from the cabinet and broken into a billion pieces on the floor. Two beds were stripped of their pee-stained sheets, but zero laundry has been started. Just one trash can has been pulled over and only three babies and one adult have screamed simultaneously for fifteen minutes. Three kids left for school on time but left a ginormous mess in the kitchen to prove they rushed out the door.

Pray.

I'll catch you on the other side of the next few days ... if I make it there. ;)

(and we'll be fine)

Guns Anyone?

Today a man came to the gate at our house. It is the second time he has visited. He apparently is a gun dealer and found us accidentally while looking for another white person in the area. The first time he came, I pointed him in the right direction to find the other blan. Today, he returned to see if I might also be interested in purchasing a weapon, and proceeded to open up a suitcase and hand me a .45 caliber handgun. It was tarnished and not very well oiled and scared me to death - even though I could see it wasn't loaded. (I'm more of a shotgun man myself.) Asking price: $1,500 US.

He also had what he called a 'rifle', but it turned out to be a pellet gun. That seemed like a better deal at $400 US - until I noticed that it is the same one I used to shoot muskrats with back in Minnesota - purchased at Walmart for fifty bucks.

I did not make any purchases today. If any of you are interested, drop a line and I'll send our area arms dealer your way.

-Troy 

Prayer

Lots more Q and A

Q. I would love to hear more about QCS, the other missions in Haiti you have discovered and the missionary comraderie. I know you and Troy are passionate about working WITH each other. Any new thoughts, progress on that front? (Heather)

QCS stands for Quisqueya Christian School. Three of our kids attend school there. We LOVE the school and we love the teachers and staff. Quisqueya is the original name of this island (The DR and Haiti combined.) It is pronounced Kiss-kay-uh. We are amazed by the leadership and the solid group of teachers. We think it is an awesome place for our kids to go and that they are learning to be global citizens and we've come to value that.
I could go on and on gushing about it ... but instead I will share some fun facts:

• Total of 225 students from 163 families (Pre K through 12th grade)
  

• QCS started with 33 families in the fall of 1974

• 41 on staff

• Staff from: Haiti, Jamaica, Canada, the Netherlands, Slovakia, Australia and the USA.

The second part of your question about our desire to see a more unified effort on the part of all minisitries is harder to answer briefly - so the not so brief answer ...

This is such a dificult thing to explain and to quantify. There is nothing super-tangible about networking and trying to unite people. Yet, it seems that a good portion of our time is spent connecting people and helping people navigate the "Haitian System".

Neither Troy or I feel we are visionaries, but we both feel we are gifted in the areas of encouragement, networking, and communication and those skills have been used by God to build a lot of connections to a lot of people in a short period of time. The point is not to walk around saying "I am connected" the point is to put people together that can make bigger impacts, spend less donor money doing it and ultimately achieve greater results. God blesses joint efforts, we believe this wholeheartedly. For whatever reason we've been able to connect some folks that are now moving forward to do ministry together and all of us are benefiting from those relationships. We feel there is lots of progresss being made.

This week we watched as the folks from Canaan (Gladys and Henri - marriage photos below if you scroll down) connected with our friends from Michigan (Nate and Brenda) and plans for a Training Center for pastors in Petit Goave began to unfold. Their goals are shared, one has a building to offer and a network of pastors that need training, the other has a desire to oversee, pray, train, and administrate. It was a God-ordained meeting and we wait with anticipation to see what will come of this unified effort. These connections are happening frequently and in many areas of ministries - both in Haiti and in the USA.

Last month we enjoyed playing a small part in assisting the MN Teen Challenge folks with their search for both property and employees as they begin phase one of planting a rehabilitation program here.

To put it very bluntly, there are two types of ministries and missionaries. There are those that openly share their resources and knowlege and want to boost each other up, and there are those that are the "circle the wagons" variety. We feel that the circle the wagons variety are on the way out, that a more unified effort can happen even with the resistance of the old school way of doing things.

Suffice it to say, if the goal is truly building His Kingdom, and not our own little kingdoms, then cooperation with one another is key. This is not to say we all agree on every last detail of theology and doctrine. This is to say, let's quit dinking around with arguing theology and lets work together to do more good and be more loving to the Haitian people. We've watched people sit around and debate theology, and that was not so much what we thought Jesus would do.

Competing to be the biggest mission or being jealous of someone else's success in ministry is offensive and misses the point. Let's not hoard our stuff, let's share our stuff. Let's match up donors to their passions, even if it means our own ministry might miss out on a few bucks. Let's trust God is bigger than all of that and let's lift one another up at every turn. Let's not worry about which ministry gets the credit for which things. Cheering as someone else gets to be used by God to do God-sized things is beyond satisfying.

We continue to feel passionate about this topic and believe that God will continue to connect us in ways that will bless both us and Him. At the end of the day it is easier to report tangible things, but these less tangible things are what we find most exciting. In the coming months we hope to highlight some of the ministries that we have not yet highlighted. Stay tuned for that.

Q. I'd love to hear his (youth Pastor) take on your current life in Haiti.
Your current Bible study?
What would you say to an unwed Mom today?
BTW, how are the newlyweds doing?
What did you want to be when you grew up? Did it come true? (E-Mom)

In the coorespondence I have had with my former youth pastor Brent, he said a couple of things that really stuck out to me. He talked about the fact that those of us who ran from God and truly "came to the end of ourselves" have maybe been blessed in that we now experience a deeper truth and understanding of His loving kindness for us. He says he anticipates he will visit Haiti in the future and that we'll reconnect face-to-face some day soon. He said that hearing from me and learning of the impact he had was a huge encouragement to him. (I wish so much that I had access to my photo albums to scan in the photo of the day he did Britt's baby dedication/baptism. My hair was so awesome.)

It would be very hard for me to tell this story in writing, but the short version is that the day I found Brent and thanked him for the role he played in my life, he preached a sermon at a church a friend of mine attends ... we were all unaware of our common connection to each other. So, after 19 years without contact, not only did we reconnect, but just a few hours later he preached at a church in Colorado where my friend sat needing confirmation and clarity of her own - and Brent (and the connection we learned of in the process) was her encouragement that day. God is into details, I am convinced of it.

Your next question was the one I was avoiding answering when I put your set of questions off until last. My current Bible study... The question implies that I daily pick up my Bible. (awkward silence) I want to paint a pretty picture and offer my excuses, but that is not what I am going to do. I currently read my Bible infrequently and am keenly aware that my deeper walk with Him depends upon my obedience in this area. I'm not there. I hope to be able to report growth and progress soon. I figured you'd notice if I skipped just one question. :)

{ I am in a Women's Bible study with other ladies working in missions, we are reading Captivating by Eldredge. I don't relate well to chapters one and two but it is too early to review the book as a whole.}

What would I say to an unwed Mom today? (I am assuming you mean an unwed Mom who wishes she were not unwed.) I'm not 100% sure. I would probably just encourage her to keep pressing on. I understand how difficult and lonely it can be. I remember thinking that I was damaged goods and would never find my Mr. Right ... and even feeling unlovable. I guess I would try to find out if she felt that way and attempt to convince her that there is nothing further from the truth. Healing comes in stages and takes time. With time and the support of people like Brent and my parents, I came to a place where I could identify how far I had strayed from the truth.

The Newlyweds are in Texas doing very well. They are busy with classes and work and their new puppy, but they look and sound content. It does our hearts good to know they are happy. We wish we could meet them for a double date.

I don't remember wanting to be anything, or knowing for sure what I wanted to do as a kid. I think I did some things by default, just based on my choices as a teenager and situations those choices created ... but I did not determine my long range "this is what I want to do" until about six years ago. I have not moved a single inch toward that goal but I think that someday, when the kids are a little bigger, it might still come true. :) I don't know though because like most of you, God does not reveal things in a "five year plan" to me ... but someday I hope to get my Masters and do counseling as a marriage and family therapist ... in Haiti or wherever God drops me.

Happy Sunday.