TCP - Part 3

Part 1 here
Part 2 here

(Part 3 - T.C.P, the reunions and tears, and the week of prep before the wedding - January 4-8)

We wrapped things up at Party City (par-tay!!) and left the Naples area.  As we drove back toward the Everglades, south on Alligator Alley, the excitement over meeting Graham for the first time grew exponentially with each passing mile.

Isaac, Hope, Noah, Phoebe and Lydia have never been aunts or uncles before (duh.) and this was a moment they had been anticipating since Graham was born in October. Everyone argued over who would be allowed to come to the airport and who would have to wait at the house.

Before we could go pick them up, we needed to stop and get luggage and butts unloaded from the epic mini van and into the house we would be staying at for the week.

The house was wonderfully bizarre and interesting, it had a large place to chase each other around and play games, (some call it a sanctuary) - this meant only Noah ended up coming to the airport with us. The other kids played tag and went around counting beds (lost count, more than 30 beds in the house) and deciding which one was best to lard on while playing Minecraft.

Noah is true to Paige.  Loyalty is a Troy and Tara value that Noah absorbed, possibly too well. Paige listens to him talk and talk and talk, therefore he thinks she is mainly without fault. The last couple years have been hard on Noah, he has grieved Paige's move to the USA heavily - we keep waiting for him to move to acceptance, but he is still hurting.  This guy came to us with all the feelings. Trusting Michael was difficult for him, but he eventually got there. All that to say, there was no way he was going to stay at the house while we went to get the Gonzales Party of 3 from the airport. He planned to be the first to meet Graham and the first one to hug Paige.

Sunday the 4th:

airport pickup team - Noah

We arrived back at the house the exact time same time that my (Tara's) Mom and Dad pulled up.

First Time Meeting all the young Aunts and Uncles ...

Grandma and Hope reunite in the back, Lydia and Graham meet in the front 

Tito and his Graham-son

Many weeks prior to the wedding our son-in-law, Chris, had talked to his parents about contacting a family friend to see if she would let us use her ginormous unoccupied house.  (She hosts many missionaries from Asia and has allowed others to use it for events.)  They contacted her, and they helped us a ton by being our local knowledgeable go-to people in the area.  They also held all the packages we shipped ahead for the big day. They ended up giving us a central place to try to be organized while coordinating things from Texas and Haiti.

With the house, we did not really know what to expect, we just knew that she said we could use it and that sleeping 20 people there would be no problem.

We learned that the house had originally been built to be a boys home and that the voters of the community wouldn't go for it and they did not approve the project.  The house had more beds than any house I have ever been in, a giant sanctuary where a lot of dodge ball and soccer were played, a prayer room, and a kitchen.  It slept our people with room to spare.  It was one of the strangest set-ups ever, but it totally worked for us.  Hashtag, because strange loves strange.

We ended up with our entire tribe of 12 there as well as KJ from Haiti, Joel and Gillian from Austin, Jen and Josh and Joanna and John from the Twin Cities, Carn-Dog from Waco, and Julia from Winona, MN.

There were a significant number of unfinished things to accomplish from Monday to Thursday. Some things that had been considered "finished" turned out to not be that at all.  We thought we had chairs, but we didn't. We thought we had a place for the night-time dance reception, we did - then did not - then did - then did not - then did again. I must have called KJ about not printing the program (because no address to give for the nighttime reception) about five times. FINALLY, we found out that the Ranch where the wedding was happening had been notified that the Friday night event cancelled, therefore we could dance back at the Ranch on Friday night.

As I try to write about the week, I realize that I existed in a fog. I couldn't keep the lists and the to-dos straight and at night I laid awake wondering what massive item I had forgotten. My parents and the friends that trickled in each day all offered to run errands and help. People that were graciously helping us all treated me like I was okay, but I felt very floaty and forgetful - but not in a fun one glass of wine way.

From day to day I couldn't remember what I had done and what I had only thought about doing. If anyone handed me anything, there was a good chance I wouldn't recall that interaction later.  Jen gave me new earrings.  Later when Brittany told me she really like them and asked where I got them, I could only say, "someone gave them to me."

My week of Alzheimer's only serves to solidify my wish to be put down once I stop making sense.  I know that our vet friend in Haiti can supply what the kids and Troy need to make that happen.
(I kid. But not really.Don't be offended, please.)

Michael's Mom arrived, my sister, my niece, Paige's best friend from childhood, Paige and Michael's Pastor (and landlord), Britt and Chris came in, the McHouls and KJ represented Haiti.
People rolled in from all over God's green earth. Because of the date we chose and because Florida is not necessarily an easy destination for most,  it was a small wedding (65 people came) - but we were grateful to have so many of "our people" there with us.

In 2013 Paige (and Troy and I) fostered a little guy named Alex.  We have forgotten all the really hard parts of confronting (and being loathed for it) a really bad and corrupt situation with his orphanage because we ended up making good friends with Alex's adoptive family, becoming his Godparents, and seeing his adoption come to completion. Paige was pretty excited when she learned that Alex would be at her wedding.  The Cox Family took their vacation during the week of Paige's wedding, we were lucky enough to be invited on their aunt and uncle's boat one day the week of the wedding.

Lydie and Phoebe worried a lot that they had never even been to a wedding and the pressure to do their part as flower girls without having any life experience really stressed them out, Lydia especially. One night as I put her to bed (waaaay overtired) she cried, "How will I even know what to do. I don't know this job, Mom!" I tried not to laugh, assuring her that the rehearsal would help her sort it all out.

The GreenGlades Ranch is owned by the father of a friend of ours.  She basically provided the DREAM spot for Paige's wedding, and she provided it free of charge.  If I had been given a chance to choose any spot (if $ were no issue and all things were equal) - the ranch is the spot I would have chosen.  When we took Michael to show him for the first time he couldn't believe how perfect and beautiful it was. Paige kept saying, "SEE what I was trying to tell you?!?"

During the floaty week of getting all the things done, I cried a lot.  Just five minute cry spurts. I don't know yet what exactly caused it all, but I suspect the overwhelmed-ness over the loving family and friends arriving to support and stand with all of us, the realization that Paige is really grown up, the lament over how fast it all flies by, knowing the goodbyes were coming again, the concerns for the day to be perfect and all the complicated history and (past) relationships that would intersect again - and on and on.

The wedding was planned in about six weeks (not because we only knew for six weeks, but because Haiti and life and we really couldn't get much planned until December). KJ helped me. She told me what I was forgetting and she used my Amazon account freely to make me look good.

Pastor Carn-Dog showed up and ran the rehearsal like a boss, putting a lot of the fears about organization to rest. Lydie and Phoebe decided they could flower-girl it up, no problem.

Photos from the week...



Monday Michael's 22nd Birthday & Visiting the Ranch:

Troy's artsy iphoto ~ the Ranch was one of the most beautiful places you could imagine 

family practice for wedding - the part where they look at each other with love - boom, nailed it!

22nd Birthday for the almost Groom 

wedding crafty stuff with the gals - "crafty" is wrapping silverware into napkins in my world

Tuesday (6th) - more bonding, errands, wedding stuff, then boating with Glori, Ken, Amanda, Jeremy, Ariam and Alex:

bromance (Troy is very much a player in this field - I cannot count his bromances)

(Jen and Joanna arrived Tuesday night.)

Wednesday - never ending buying, organizing, and finding things I had lost - then practicing dancing and singing : (that is not a video anymore, I screen shot a video)

the sanctuary in our house where we danced and played dodge ball and got carpet burns from intense competition

(Great) Auntie Tina and Whitney meet Graham for the first time

(Tina and Whit and Julia all flew in Wednesday.)

Thursday (Day before the wedding) - 

Facebook tells me I said this:
Tara Porter Livesay

January 8 at 9:09am · Edited ·

Troy just reminded me that we got to the USA one week ago. No wonder all of you in the USA are fried-out. This place doesn't stop.

My parents have been here helping a ton with errand running and driving people around and buying the things I forgot.

Wedding is tomorrow morning, weather is supposed to be 70 and sunny at ceremony time. There are a handful of beloved friends in the air today. One more bridesmaid needs to get here, and three friends from Haiti are on their way from the island now. Our Wizard of Oz is coming in today too, he will fix everything broken and make all in the world right. My friend, Kristen is working magic with flowers and while I had imagined a few leaves and sticks, it appears the girls will have lovely bouquets in their hands.

Sometimes, even though I am not really stressed about the logistics of the wedding, I feel like crying. I just go with the feeling - and I cry. Every little piece of watching our kids grow-up and go is like having your heart wrung out wet-rag style. I cannot even identify everything happening emotionally, I just know it is crazy-town up in this heart/head-space.

If you are a praying person, this Mother of the Bride is asking for prayers for baby Graham, Paige and Michael. They will be flying back home to Texas on Saturday and Michael will begin six months of intense training on Monday. They won't see each other very much during those six months as Michael will only get Saturdays off. Paige is as strong as they come, but I know she will really miss her best friend and the adjustment will be a large one.

My goal for this, our rehearsal day? Be the kind of bossy that gets all the $*%# done - but also does not make my friends/family hate me. Wish me luck.

Rehearsal day and Rehearsal at Ranch:

boys' coats were made to fit - arm length issues abound in this house 

some of the bridesmaids and friends hit the nail salon 

Next Installment: Wedding Day ~ January 9th ~ Glass Cage of Emotion Day

(Also, it takes a village to make a destination wedding happen)

Flowers, compliments of master Florist K. Howerton :)

The Cox Family and the signage they created to help folks find the turn :)

Superstition

When I write about other people, I always feel hesitant. 

I am hesitant to share about Benita. 

Bentia was risked out of the Heartline prenatal program.  

"Risked out" can mean a lot of things, but in Benita's case it means this: superstition blocks us from making real progress and wisdom says we cannot take that sort of chance.

In 2011, 29 year old Benita lost a baby at childbirth around the 7th month. The date is her estimation, it is possible she was further along.  In 2013, 31 year old Benita lost a baby at birth around the same time as the previous loss.  

In 2014, she joined Heartline's Prenatal Program, pregnant for a third time at age 33.

She shared the story of how the past labors started, how they progressed, how they ended.  We explained (after many consultations and an ultrasound) that there appeared to be an abnormality with her placenta with her third child and we speculated that perhaps the abnormality we noted with child number three was what caused the early delivery and demise of her first two babies.  

She listened as we explained that we wanted her to do everything she could do to find out what the issue was with her placenta in time to possibly prevent a third loss.  We asked her to go out to a rural hospital (PIH) that we frequently refer ladies to for a higher level ultrasound and hopefully higher level follow-up care.

She nodded and said she would do that.  I asked, "Why do you think you lost your first two babies?" (Because what a person believes is true is almost as important as what is actually true.)  

Benita said, "I live in a bad area."  Further conversation and some cultural knowledge applied and we understood that she was telling us she had been cursed and that is why her babies had died. 

Upon each follow up with Benita, we learned that she did not end up fully going through with her appointments at the rural hospital. She gave us reasons, some seemed possible and reasonable, others not so much.  

Finally we said, "There is no choice here. You must visit that hospital if you hope to have the help you need with this baby." We put a sufficient amount of money in her hand and asked her to use it to get the appointment and try to set up a plan right away.  She agreed she would go.

A few weeks later, after Benita had not shown up since we had asked her to go for the higher level ultrasound to determine what exactly was going on with her placenta, she was called and asked to come in so that we could follow up with her.

After conversation and calling in a few people to be sure that there was nothing getting lost in the translation, it was determined that Benita had decided not to go to the hospital. Instead she had passed right by the hospital and headed to an area where her family was and used the money to go have the curse removed. 

Benita believes her babies were lost due to a curse. We believe she has some sort of placenta abnormality that causes the placentas to partially or fully abrupt at around 7 to 8 months, therefore she delivers babies that are no longer living.  

Because Benita believes she handled the situation now, (even though clearly the placenta is still abnormal on ultrasound) she will not be going for higher level medical care as she needs.  

If it has not already happened, it is quite likely she will deliver this baby in a similar manner and fashion to the first two.  The outcome could easily be the exact same. 

I grew up hearing from my Dad that my "dominant thought will prevail" - meaning, whatever I believe is true, will end up being true. He meant, negative attitudes produce negative results.  It was far less consequential when it was about me believing I would fail a math test.  

Benita believes a curse took her first two babies, therefore she is now believing that the curse reversed will save this baby.  

Superstition and curses are a very difficult thing to explain and understand.  We admit that we have seen curses that seemed real and even powerful at times. 

Early in our time in Haiti a curse was placed on Troy after he fired an employee that was stealing. Within one week of the curse Troy had Dengue Fever (and subsequently Tara and Brittany got it).  Of course mosquitoes gave us Dengue, but the person that placed the curse got the credit with some folks in the village. 

We can not force someone to follow recommendations, we can not undo cultural superstition. We cannot work with non-compliant clients. There is not a lot we can do to change Bentia's plan.  In situations like these we feel the frustration over what cannot be done and try to focus on what can be done.  

We are praying for Benita. Will you join us? 

Traveling Circus Posse (T.C.P) - Part 2

(Part 2 of 8 - weekend in Naples January 1 to 4)

Our very first purchase in the land of all the things to purchase  -  was underwear.  

Naples, Florida underwear are the best quality undergarments you can find, which is quite lucky for us. 

As we stood inhaling Super Target, Troy said to the kids, "We are at a store that has the foods you might want. Is there one thing you cannot wait to have, we can buy it here now." The kids gave varying answers, mainly junk-food items or fruit that cannot be easily found in Haiti. (We put away pounds and pounds of strawberries while traveling.) Lydia thought the longest and said, "white rice!!!" 

You can take a girl away from the rice, but you cannot take the rice away from said girl.  She proceeded to order that every few days for the rest of the time away and rave about how delicious it was at each location. Total.Weirdo.

After our Target run we went to the hotel just a bit north of Naples.  I was giddy when I made a Priceline bid and it assigned us to a Hyatt Place hotel. (We chose Naples because one of the four families getting together lives there - the rest of us are not Floridians.)  That chain is my favorite (because good free breakfast and big rooms) and this girl got an amazing price on that hotel. My arms got super tired from the victory-arm-pump I did for days after we scored that deal. 

We checked in at the same time our friends, the Goodfellows from Peru, were checking in.  Troy ran like a little kid to embrace his friend, Blake.  Sarah and I saw each other last January so we did a normal adult-hug greeting. 

The Howertons from California arrived soon after and the chaos of many (13) children in a hotel pool began.  The adults enjoyed adult beverages and we all had pizza out at the pool deck.  

Apparently one hotel patron sat in the hot tub lamenting how parents today don't control their children and how sad it was to see that.  The kids swam and played and were loud, but I'm still not sure what they did that needed controlling.  Have you ever been to a hotel pool where children were silent? No. Me either.  Another guy that went to the hot tub stopped by our table on his way out to tell us how delightful our kids were.  I think there is a lesson here. Same kids. Same night. Same pool/hot tub. 

Different approaches to life.  

They are either delightful or out of control or delightfully out of control. 
Who is to say?

Perhaps some people were never babies and then after that they were never babies they were also never young children or pre-teens. They never needed to play or be loud or blow off some traveling energy. Those people were apparently born old and crabby with bun-cheeks clenched tight and they work to remain that way. It is good to have goals! They are clearly achieving their big dreams of being curmudgeonly. 

The next morning our kids marveled at the hotel breakfast and made many trips to try each pastry and juice available. The multiple trips to and from the table draw far more attention than Troy and I would like, but how do you tell kids on their first morning in America not to check out all the awesome over and over again?

You don't.  

Instead you just let the curmudgeons watch and cluck and you pretend you are not noticing any of their disapproval.  (Maybe you flash a giant smile. Maybe you say, "Aren't you glad we didn't bring our other hungry kids to breakfast?")

I don't know if other big families feel this way at times, but I think sometimes people just disapprove of five kids.  The same five kids separated out into three families wouldn't be an issue, but the fact that all five come as a package deal in the same family makes people worry about the breakfast area capacity and crowded fire escapes and elevator safety. (I made that all up. I don't really know.) (Also, five kids is not really a lot.)

After the consumption of many waffles and eggs and cinnamon rolls the kids went back to the room to flip through a hundred channels, landing on "Pit Bulls and Parolees" on Animal Planet. This is an excellent show that I know you do not want to check out soon. It is all about Pit Bulls and, wait for it waaaaaait for it, Parolees. Enthralling television. After that they got to spend a little time looking out the "awesome eyeholes" in the doors for an hour or two.

I posted this status on Facebook: 

Tara Porter Livesay

January 2 at 10:31am ·

Today's plan? Four Dads are taking 16 kids to do Everglades airboat rides. Four Moms are not going. Have you ever heard a more amazing plan in your entire life? No. No, you have not.

~        ~         ~

The rest of January 2 was a day of kids visiting airboats and alligators with their four dads - while the moms chatted on the beach and went out to dinner.  There are not words to describe the peaceful day the Moms had.  

Troy showed me a billion photos of the alligators and the airboats and told me tales of the dinner. I know without a doubt that I won on January 2, 2015.

mothers with 16 children that are 90 minutes away

children that are alive and well with their marvelous Dads

On Saturday (January 3) the mothers all agreed to spend extended periods of time with their own children. (The very same children that unpack bags that are already packed.) Grace abounds. 

Our families headed to another beach for the entire day. We had a blast and even though Mark Howerton took six hours to get his kids' lunch at Arby's, everything turned out great and nobody perished for lack of food.

Our kids had so much fun meeting new kids. Isaac said, "So Mom, now I can say I have friends in Naples, L.A, and Lima!"  Yes, son. You can say that if you want.

Mostly though, it was fun to watch TCKs from Haiti connect with TCKs from Peru. Hope and Riley (below with Chase and Noah) were fast friends. No thirteen year old girl that lives outside of her passport country can expect to be understood better than by ANOTHER 13 year old girl that lives outside of her passport country. 

Naples, January 3rd

We parted ways happy to have had the two days together and sad it went by so quickly.  On the morning of the 4th we packed up to head back to FortLauderdale because Paige, Michael, and Graham were in the air headed toward us. 

We made one stop at Party City to buy some wedding stuff we needed.  Troy stayed in the car to do his manly map-looking-at-stuff and the kids and I went into the store. On their first ever party store adventure, they said: "This place is called Party City? Well, it is a party, so I see why!"  

Noah proceeded to pick out gifts for Paige that I really wished I could discourage him from, but rather than trample on his heart I let him buy a few hideous items before we headed south and east to pick up the #GonzalesPartyof3 crew. 

The California, Peru, & Haiti Crew - Hyatt Place never knew what hit them or their breakfast buffet - taken January 4th as we said goodbye

 This is a City. And it is a Party.

In the next installment (#3) of T.C.P, the reunions and tears, and the week of prep before the wedding.

Read Part 1 of T.C.P here

Traveling Circus Posse - Part 1

(Entry 1 of 8 - covering late Dec. and January 1st) 

All marriages are different.  I know this. 

I don't know if mine is different better or different worse.  

If I was hard-pressed to say, I would say different better.

Here is a small look at some of the inter workings of our "division of labor"...

In 16 years of marriage, if we are going to go somewhere for more than a few hours, it is my job to pack the kids and myself. Troy breaks into cold sweats at the thought of picking clothing out for them for a day or two. If he were ever to be asked to pack for a 23 day trip, he would lie down on the floor, soil his pants, and proceed to lie there despondent in his own urine until help arrived.

Troy is in charge of passports, maps, (hello - that's way easier now - remember back in the RandMcNally map days) researching the area we are visiting, providing technology (this means having a sim card that will work outside of Haiti and having it activated). Troy is also in charge of encouraging me not to give up when our kids unpack the crap I have already packed. This last thing may be his most important role.  There are days while packing for a trip like this when the kids undo/unpack what I have very meticulously packed multiple times, that I am the one despondent on the floor. He sighs loudly with me, he listens as I lament, he picks me up, over and over again; he is the wind beneath my packing wings. 

~       ~        ~

The end of December 2014 was spent doing all the normal weekly ministry/work tasks. 

Besides the regular work and the kids being out of school for Christmas break, Becky Burton, the wife of Jimmy, (the kids' teacher) gave birth on December 26th at the Maternity Center. We also had our friends from Cali visiting that week and we needed to pack finish things for the wedding and the trip and we needed to clean our entire kitchen out because of an utterly gag-worthy sick and wrong infestation of termites.

Somehow it all happened and the quickly disappearing kitchen cabinet shelving was left to the landlord to deal with while we were away. For the past six months shelves have been turning into sawdust before our eyes and drawer after drawer rotted out of its track. That sounds like a place a person could really create culinary delights, does it not!?!?  Spiders and cockroaches are nothing, if you really want to be grossed out, pay attention to those tiny little wood-eating-nastified-squirmy-white-devils. 

Our friend KJ transported us to the airport early on the morning of January 1st. The kids wake up early on travel day without any complaining - they have made this mistake more than once, I now know that early wake ups with cheer are within the realm of possibility. 

As we left our rooms I made a speech about not being responsible for anything they had removed without approval and said something Motherly and similar to  - "If you don't have something you need on this trip, it is because you messed with my system and you probably deserve it." 

That's true agape love, isn't it?  

We had very few issues in the PAP airport. Jet Blue was our airline of choice this time around and they did a great job of getting us all checked in and ready to roll.  

The lady at the desk told me that Isaac would be pulled aside for a TSA security check. She told me it was random and that it is no big deal.  I happen to know Isaac, so I knew that while it might not be a big deal for some, it would shake Isaac up a bit.  I attempted to prepare him.  "Isaac, sometimes they have a random security check and they pull people aside and look more closely at their bag and their belongings and ask a few questions. They told me they would do that. It is nothing to worry about. It is not because we did anything wrong."  

Fast forward ten minutes when the folks are pulling him aside, Isaac, bewildered and nervous asks, "Mom, why did they pick me?"

"Buddy, I just told you they were going to do this." I said. He replied, "Oh, I didn't know you meant it would be me or NOW."  

Details and listening are not his specialty. 

~        ~        ~

Photos from January 1st, fly day.

Our kids always act like they remember nothing of previous flights. It seems like they have never seen an airplane seat or window. They touch everything and check out every button and device. There is a lot of discussion about who will sit next to whom and the window seats are negotiated with passion and tenacity.

Herding the luggage and the kids always feels very conspicuous to me. I prefer to be calm, quiet, unnoticed, head-down etc. etc.  (The way a person traveling ALONE might act/be.) 

Traveling with these guys is like picking your nose while screaming "WATCH US - WE ARE INTERESTING".  Between the racial diversity, the spazziness, the sheer numbers, the big hair, and Lydia's gas, there is no such thing as inconspicuous. 

"How many in your party?" the guy in the white asks. "Seven", Troy replies. "You are all together?" he asks.  "Yes", Troy replies. "Same last name though?" "Yes" Troy replies. 

Once we've messed with that paradigm they asked us to step to the machine to begin the work of scanning passports.  It was some time during that process that Lydia made her first statement of 2015. It took no less than five seconds for the scent to make it to each of her siblings noses. Nobody had to ask, we all know who the gassy one is. The girl can't help it. The gap where the two front teeth are missing must be a natural inlet for too much air. What comes in, must go out.  

We wanted out of the stench, but still had more passports to scan. Without fail we get an X on my clearance and have to stand in the next line. Hyphenated names are a beastly problem. The struggle is real. Hours and hours of my life have been wasted because of that one stupid little hyphen. 

By the time we got to the luggage area our stuff was all there waiting for us and we camped out while Troy headed out sans circus to rent the mini-van. When Troy pulled up to get us, the kids marveled at the wonders of the Town and Country mini-van. Isaac thinks (and frequently states) that mini-vans are epic. 

As we drove toward Naples where we planned to meet our friends, we talked about alligators, the Everglades, the upcoming wedding, and the smell of Target. We realized that one of five children had only one pair of underwear and we were given our chance to smell Target even sooner than we had anticipated.  

Next Entry - January 1-4 in Naples where many amazing things like "EYEHOLES in the doors" are a part of the thrill of America.

The 2015 Kick-Off

Anne Lamott said, "I've heard it said that expectations are resentments under construction..."

If expectations are resentments under construction --- holy cow, there just may be some major construction going on here.  

The first 22 days of January 2015 were packed with every joy, beauty, celebration, and fun you can imagine. Intertwined in all that were, family, old friends, new friends, and emotions of every variety. We can only hope that our children are not basing their expectations for the coming months off of the insane-party-life they just lived for the first many days of two-thousand-fifteen.  If they expect that much ice-cream, they need to find a dairy farmer to live with, it's not happening in Port au Prince.

In 2014 I basically made putting quotes on photos my job. I got sick of me, you got sick of me, I made way too many. It's all good, I can mock myself.  My "art" may have gone overboard, but you know I love a good quote appropriately paired with a photograph. 

My 2015 thing has yet to be determined - if I were to go with the trajectory of the first three weeks, the year needs to have something to do with celebration. That is the track we've been on thus far. 

Because we did one thing after the other after the other and just kept moving, we are finally able to reflect on all that we got to see, do, and experience in Florida and on the cruise-trip my parents took us on.

I decided I will preserve memories and history better if I break it down into parts. The kids had non stop funny insight and observations that I hope to find in all the places I scratched them down. My plan is to break it up into smaller sections to try not to get overwhelmed with documenting everything. 

• Traveling with kids and Prep for travel (end of Dec 2014 - January 1)
• Weekend in Naples with three other families (January 1-4)
• Wedding Prep Week in FortLauderdale/Weston (January 4-8)
•  Wedding Ceremony and Reception(s) (January 9)
• Goodbyes, time with friends/fam, prep for cruise (January 10)
• Cruise Week (also known as - this is not your real life week) (January 11-18)
• Wind down with friends and Paige and Graham in Sarasota (January 18-22)
• Travel Home and all the things that happen when packing 500 pounds of luggage and five kids (January 23)

Part I - Traveling with kids

All marriages are different.  I know this.  (To be continued...)

Dear 2014,

Thanks for coming to visit and for quickly making us so.very.old.
You may leave now.

Troy & Tara

And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year: “Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.” 

And he replied:“Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand of God. That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.”

For posterity's sake, a brief review of the year that was 2014 - of a more personal/family nature.
(Also, see Maternity Center review here).

• January 7th we returned home after moving Paige to Texas and spending time getting her settled into college/America life and finishing a list of Tara's midwifery requirements that needed to take place in the USA
• First set of twins (first breech too) born at Heartline Maternity Center in January - a birth and several intense moments none of us will ever forget 
• Our godson, Alex, went home with his family to CO in February after a year at our house
• Tara took a trip to Idaho in February to hang with crunchy midwife people and take practice tests and figure out how to use her remaining study time before the exam
• Mid February Paigey-girl announced a grandchild would join us in October
• In March Matt (brother-in-law) and Annie (niece) came to Haiti so that Annie could meet her first family - Isaac got to learn his REAL birth date, which he describes as "epic".  What a difference eleven days can make! 
• Moses went home to WY in late February/early March a very big event for everyone who prayed for that and a beautiful tangible reminder of God's care for each of us as the Reibs inspired us with their love
• In April we went to Boston Marathon with Beth McHoul and cheered as she put one foot in front of the other and inspired us all with her tenacity and love for Haitian women
• Friends from Austin, TX came in April. 
• Dokte Jen came to visit again in mid-May and was the first to get sick with a horrid virus none of us could pronounce
• In late May Tara went to Texas to meet our future son in law and find out our grandchild would be a boy
• In late May the Chikungunya Virus stormed Port au Prince. Lydia and Troy were the first to get it in our family
• Our niece, Whitney, came to Haiti for a week in June - so much JOY! 
• Chikungunya took the entire family down between early June and mid July, depression and chronic pain became a struggle for Troy and Tara and many of the Heartline staff in the weeks and months that followed - we officially stopped feeling young this summer -  if we wanted to blame our aging and fatigue on one thing - Chikungunya gets the blame
• Paige and Michael spent six weeks in Haiti and we all decided that Michael is wonderful and kind and worthy of our Paige - when he asked Troy if he could propose to Paige, we all got to help him make it special 
• In early August Tara passed the NARM exam to become a CPM - three and a half years of nervous tummy came to a celebratory end on that day
• In September there was a weekend in Florida to update Newborn Resuscitation skills with the Midwives and Dokte Jen
• We became Grandparents to Graham Porter Gonzales (Mojo and Tito is our preferred handle.) on October 11, a few days after Paige walked away from a serious car accident unharmed, and just a few weeks before Michael had heart surgery to repair WPW Syndrome
• Troy came to Texas for five days to meet his grandson while friends cared for our kids in Haiti
• Tara spent five weeks in Texas with Britt, Chris, Paige, Michael and our Graham-son before heading back to the island with a mad crush on the most perfect little baby guy you ever did see
• November was a month of difficult situations at the Maternity Center, most of the deliveries ended up needing to happen in a hospital due to placenta previa and preeclampsia 
• December brought a visit from our eldest child and Hope joined Isaac in the teen-years. The rest of December was spent putting together a destination wedding from the world's slowest internet - said wedding will take place in less than two weeks in Florida  - which is good because things were super boring and we desperately needed something to spice life up a bit. <sarcasm alert>  We will be meeting up with #gonzalespartyof3 on Sunday  - I cannot possibly know who is most excited, but it is for sure me.
• <GAH> 

Tara left Haiti six times in one year. holy cow. No wonder it feels like it's all a blur.

A friend asked "What are you learning about God and what has He taught you in 2014?"

The truth is, the time to really think about everything that we have learned this year hasn't happened yet.

We learned the truth of the statement: "If you can find a path without obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere".

We can say with certainty that what felt big, scary, impossible, and too heavy to lift, ended up being not so big, not too terribly scary, mostly doable, and our not-so-well sculpted guns can do more lifting than previously known.

For sure we learned that God will provide what is needed to face each trial. If you pay attention you'll find Him providing the courage and grace for each new day in unique and merciful ways. When we looked around we found our friends were hoping when we weren't ready to hope, lifting when we couldn't lift.

And so we went forth, and finding the Hand of God, trod gladly into the night. 

...That is the plan for 2015 - no grandiose statements or resolutions, just going forth and finding the Hand of God. 

May He grip us all tightly as we trod into 2015.

early January, in Miami, headed home. 

January twins! 

Febraury - Our Godson Alex goes home 

Moses heads home! 

March, Annie returns to Haiti (bottom is a 2008 flashback)

Austin keeps Port au Prince weird(er) for a few days in April

April - Marathoning Machine 

Isaac takes his turn with Chik V in June - there is NOTHING sadder than sick Isaac

Kids watching an important proposal happen in late July

Taking NRP in FL in September 

Isaac turns 13 and decides to be 5'7" in September

Graham arrives in October

Tito comes to TX to meet the Graham son in October

Noah on one of many rides to transport to a hospital far outside of PAP in November

Britt came to see us in early December