Guest Blogger, Amie Sexton

Redefining Greatness

In our Sunday School class this past week we got caught up in a discussion about world events and tragic situations that burden us. Tim and I recently read "A Long Way Gone -Memoirs of a Boy Soldier" by Ishmael Beah, and followed that up by watching the movie "Blood Diamond." The plight of so many African countries where rebels rape, mutilate, and kill entire villages of people; where children are kidnapped, numbed, and trained to become thoughtless murderers puts a nauseating pit in my stomach.

One of our classmates has done extensive research into human trafficking where young women and girls are traded, sold, and abused as sex slaves right here in our own nation -the land of the free. Knots in the stomach.

Perhaps you saw the 20/20 special a while back on prostitution. Women, young and old, who sell their souls to the devil (or at least the local pimp) and sell themselves for as little as 25 dollars. Enough to get the next hit of crack, cocaine, heroine, anything that will dull the pain of reality. A life created by bad choices? In many cases perhaps. Well, why doesn't she just 'pick herself up by her bootstraps' and leave that lifestyle? Considering that I barely have the self-discipline to not eat an entire cheesecake in one sitting, I'm willing to assume it's just not that easy.

Add to these things the AIDS epidemic, malaria, children in Haiti eating dirt, war, pedophilia, natural disasters...whew. That'll bring your spirits down. So, what do we do? What is the biblical response? Well, we all agreed on one thing. The thing we CANNOT do. We CANNOT do nothing!

It is easy to become paralyzed by the overwhelming need. In this age of technology, it is easy to become desensitized and disinterested. It is even possible to run sporadically from urgency to urgency without ever effecting a lasting change. These are things we cannot do. We also can't allow ourselves to think that one person doesn't make a difference. We have to redefine greatness.

Throughout history great leaders have emerged for noble purposes. But no one can lead a great movement without committed followers. Some examples:

Abraham Lincoln emancipated the nations enslaved people -thousands of men and boys lost their lives so that Lincoln's proclamation could stand firm. They represented greatness.

Martin Luther King, Jr. powerfully and eloquently lifted a voice for his people, leading the charge of the Civil Rights movement -countless men and women marched in peaceful protest, and braved the sting of fire hoses, and endured the blistered and bloodied feet while walking miles to work in support of the bus boycott without ever being pictured on the six o'clock news or named in the history books. They embodied greatness.

If I redefine greatness, then I see that while I will never single-handedly end world hunger; I can effect change in one child's life through sponsorship.

I may not have pages of the history books dedicated to my work toward racial reconciliation but I can step out of my comfort zone to love someone who is not just like me and raise awareness of the issue among others.

I may not lead great crusades where people flood the aisles to embrace their Savior but I can faithfully share Him with those around me.

I don't write deep thoughts very often (not because I don't have them -watch it!) because I know that we all enjoy being entertained more than being challenged. BUT I can't help thinking --what if we cut the crap, lose the rhetoric and pretense, and just decided to look like Jesus; what would change? What would we become passionate about? Who would we become passionate about? Would we begin to see every opportunity to love our neighbors (from Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria, and the uttermost parts of the earth) as an opportunity for greatness?

Sometimes in Haiti you pay because you can

Sunday we had a bunch of things to do in Port. At the end of the errands we were heading to a party for the worship team people from church.

Above is an amazingly artistic aerial view of the scene. We are the vehicle waiting to turn left. A tap-tap was loading so we could not turn. The tap tap is the smaller square to the left. The thin arrow is a motorcycle and that is the way he chose to pass the two trucks standing still. He was maybe not very smart. We turned left - assuming that because the tap tap had pulled away we were free to do so -- and the motorcyle ran directly into our front drivers side tire. The purple is the crash site. (Purple used for dramatization.)

In Haiti, rules are sort of ... how shall we say ... stupid. The rule is, whoever is a better actor wins. In hindsight Troy messed up when he did not instantly fall to the ground flailing about in pain. Hindsight, as they say, is 20/20. It is all about show-business. (Take note for future trips here.)

The motorcycle driver and our truck were both moving very slowly. The bike was not damaged. No one even got scraped enough to bleed. The driver actually stood up, picked his bike up, moved it to safety all by himself and then ... bam, the injury set in. Below is a reenactment of his fall to the ground once he had used his two arms and two legs to move his bike. Once he fell to the ground, he never again was able to walk or talk or move freely in front of us. Oh, no scratch that ... he was suddenly able to talk again when he was negotiating how much money we were going to give him in order to be done with it all.



About 30 people gathered to yell and interject their opinions into the accident that they had NOT WITNESSED - it was a real blast I tell you. Knowing we could not walk away without a riot, we put the guy in the back of our truck. He refused to move, we lifted him in. I rode with him in back. We took him to a nearby hospital.

The doctor at the hospital clearly knew we were getting scammed. He looked at him, gave him a shot most likely containing a placebo to keep him from further dramatizing, an Rx for some ibuprofen and sent us on our way. A full two and a half hours after the collision we brought the guy home and heard how much it would cost to get him around for the next many days while his legs regained function and his back stopped killing him. Troy complained about the scam that it was. Our Haitian attorney friend said, "Yes. That is the problem in Haiti. Sometimes you pay because you can."

We paid the money and left. TIH.  We heard the party was very nice.

The human fan

We live in a village setting. Electricity must be produced by generators, solar panels, batteries and inverters. Sometimes, when all else fails, and we need a fan ... Isaac is our back-up plan.

We're working on a dramatic re-enactment of the events of Sunday. As soon as all the actors are hired and cooperate with the camera man, we'll post it.

I LOVE YOU DAD!

I don't know what I most want to reflect upon ...
shall I focus on that super cool part in your 70's dude-wig-hair or your flippin sweet mustache? How could you even see through those tiny little frames? Polyester loves you too by the way. Props for sticking to the no teeth-smiling for photos rule. 30 years ... That sort of resolve is admirable.

1977 and 2007 - T. and her Dad
Go Here for loving and serious thoughts.

Another Photo Fave

"Love knows no limit to its endurance,
no end to its trust, no fading of its hope;
it can outlast anything.
Love still stands when all else has fallen."

Public Service Announcement(s)

Lately, I've been spending a chunk of time each day doing some sort of work-out type activity. Don't kid yourself ladies, once you hit 30, getting rid of baby weight is nothing to joke around about. I had babies at 17, 22, 31 and 35. Let us just say, "it ain't what it used to be." If you're going to do it, it is going to hurt.
`
My best friend since the 5th grade is currently pregnant with her first child and she sent me this last week ... which proves my point. They call someone 35 "elderly" and therefore this "snapping back" thing is neither simple or easy.

A report came from our genetic counseling appt-very run of the mill, didn’t say much that was interesting-but it did refer to me as a “primigravida”.
Since I didn’t know what that was I looked up the term and found it on Wikipedia.

Here’s the first paragraph.

In medicine, gravidity refers to the number of times a woman has been pregnant

• A gravida is a pregnant woman.
• A nulligravida or gravida 0 is a woman who has never been pregnant.
• A primigravida or gravida 1 is a woman who is pregnant for the first time or has been pregnant one time.
• A multigravida or more specifically a gravida 2 (also secundigravida), gravida 3, and so on, is a woman who has been pregnant more than one time.
• An elderly primigravida is a woman in her first pregnancy, who is at least 35 years old.

But - that is NOT the point of this post. I have a different, yet still very unimportant- point. WHILE doing all of this extra physical activity, many random things flow through my brain. These thoughts help me cope with and escape from the reality that I am working very hard in 175 degree heat, with little promise of any result.
`
Yesterday it was really bugging me that in 1990 I spent like $4,000 to go to "The McConnell School of Travel". It was a nine month course that prepared me to ... it prepared me to ... uh ... lets see... it prepared me to --- work in a hotel and --- be quick to recognize airport codes.
`
I mean ... really, in a world where people don't have enough to eat, I think it is just wonderful that I spent a bunch of money to be able to tell you that BNA is Nashville, TN and BDL is Hartford, Connecticut and ORD is Chicago O'Hare. If you were curious, I could also tell you that Houston has two airports, using the letters HAS and IAH. Because, without me telling you that, there is no way you would have access to that sort of information. It is a secret club and you only get in if you're lucky stupid enough to spend $4,000 at a place with a name as lame as "McConnell School of Travel."
`
Somewhere along the line we missed doing some research that would have informed us that within just ten years the entire world would be booking their own travel; airport codes would not be top secret information any longer.
`
My pregnant friend also attended the "school of travel". Together we have the power to name every airport in the continental United States of America. And it only cost us eight grand. We might both be elderly now; but we know some airport codes.

Let us know if we can be of service to you in the future.

Photo Fave

bullet points for all the bullet point junkies

• Jeronne, the lady that helps out at our house in the mornings has been working on her English. So far, everything she knows she learned from Elmo. She says, "Oh boy! that tickles!" And she says it perfectly.
  

• It is bloody hot here lately.

• The short-term team has a lot of teenage boys. This has made for some interesting moments with our teenage daughter. We'll be banning teams with boys ages 14-18 from here on out. We already had one daughter fall in love in Haiti.

• We're searching for a new country in which to serve, possibly one too far away for American boys to visit. Isaac has always liked Madagascar ... hmmmmm
  

• We always get a kick out of people visiting Haiti and speaking English and assuming everyone understands them ... and then maybe speaking English LOUDER to help them out if they don't understand. IF I YELL AT YOU IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE-- THEN MAYBE YOU WILL SPEAK THAT LANGUAGE!?!?!? That is soooo logical. So, the other night one of the team members launches into a long conversation with Pastor Rony. We were listening from the porch trying not to pee our pants. Rony is learning English but he was totally scamming the visitor. The guy said a lot of things and Rony would keep responding with his best, most interested sounding "Ooohhh yes" at one point the guy said, "I'm not much of a basketball fan really ... " Rony just stuck with what he knows and said, "ooohh yes!" It was all very entertaining.
  

• If you want to read something really funny, read this post. We've been examining our own buying habits and just recently decided that some changes are in order. We're finding that even in Haiti, we consume more than necessary. Our kids still manage to be "stuff" focused. We're hoping to fix that. We want our kids to know the difference between need and want. We're working on teaching them all about planned and perceived obsolescence. More on that another time.
  

• Isaac said to Troy the other day- "Daddy, how long have you had me?" Troy said, "Almost six years buddy." Isaac said, "Is there such a thing as 100 years? When you have me 100 years then will I really be yours?" Troy assured him that he is REALLY ours now. It just reminded us that we can never remind our kids often enough that they are OURS.

• Love wash over a multitude of things ... love wash a multitude of things ... make us whole There is a love that never fails, there is a healing that always prevails, there is a love that never fails --- the lyrics to the song I am listening to as I type this random report.
  

• Okay. I have no idea if this will reach the desired party. But I am giving it a shot. First, let me set this up a bit. Have you ever been in public with one of your kids and had them freak out at the sight of their teacher? I remember vividly seeing Paige's teacher at a grocery store once and she was all, "OH. MY. GOSH. MY TEACHER. MY TEACHER IS AT CUB FOODS?? MY TEACHER EATS? OH NO. WHAT WILL I DO? I have to hide!" She refused to go say Hi because her teacher had no context outside of the classroom. That person only exists in the place where Paige knows her. Having said that, we realize we've fallen victim to this troublesome phenomenon. We don't expect anyone to call us here - ever. So, the other day ... my cell phone rang and someone said "Hi is this the Livesays? Hi Tara, this is Marsha!" (or Marcia maybe) But then I said, "Marsha? I am sorry ... uh .... help me out, I am drawing a blank here..." Then the line went dead. I don't know if Marsha was too offended to call me back or if she just was warring with that which is the Haiti telephone devil. I never heard from her again. Marsha/Marcia that called me on my Haiti cell number - please, call again - write - make contact - send a telegram - something!!!! It is killing me. I must know who you are and why I have no context.
  

• Happy Friday to all!
  

To Troy - Happy Birthday- 33 Things

Troy-

You are my love and my best friend and my favorite person on the face of this earth. But you already know all of that. The 33 things for your 33 years is an attempt to tell you some things you might not know- that I love about you. (In no particular order.)

1. Your devilish good looks
2. The tricks you can do with your eyebrows
3. Your furry legs
4. The way you put people at ease
5. Your awesome Kip (Napoleon Dynamite) impersonation
6. Your heart for worship
7. The way you compliment me and our daughters daily
8. Your KungPow Chicken
9. Your problem solving skills
10. Your faith
11. Your smile (the way your eyes smile too)
12. You’ll stand up for what you believe no matter what – you’re never concerned with doing or being what is popular, you’re simply concerned with doing what is right - you LIVE your beliefs
    
13. Your widows-peak
14. Your weird and entertaining sense of humor
15. Your Mensa-brand intelligence
16. HA! The way you defend me – remember when you threatened to beat up that tall fat man for me?
17. The care you show in trying to spend a few minutes one on one time here and there with each of our kids (and that is not easy)
18. Diaper changing Dads are dead sexy
19. You let me vent without judging me – you allow me to feel things without correcting me – you accept me right where I am no matter what
20. You fight fair
21. Your passion for the Philly steak sandwich & BBQ Ribs
22. Your willingness to give up things you love to be where God wants you
23. The new gray hairs that you are getting
24. Your obsession with researching products before you buy
25. Your talented artist eye for photography
26. The way you try to make people laugh by being willing to make a fool of yourself
27. The smell of your neck
28. Your kiss
    
29. Your night owl tendencies
30. Your ability to roll-with-it no matter how difficult things get
31. Your sweetness shines through in everything you do
32. The way you maneuver around Port Au Prince with ease and skill
33. The total studly way you look while water skiing
    

Happy Birthday Baby!

thoughts random and unrelated that might not even sound coherent

There is an unwritten law here. It says, when you’re feeling overwhelmed and think that you’re coping with quite enough – a paper will be delivered to you to tell you to appear in court. It never fails. TIH. Maybe it is a way of learning that God will help you handle more even when you feel you've reached your max capacity. Or maybe that is not it at all. :) Who knows?!?

The last time Troy was asked to appear in court we were standing in a hospital room praying for Lydie. Clearly we're in a better position than we were that day. Yesterday another notice was delivered to the mission.

About ten days ago, on a Friday, I noticed that the former school director was at the gate. I thought it was odd because he has been gone for months and the case he brought had settled. We figured we were done hearing how upset he was with us. (Wrong.)

Troy was out of town that day so I just let the gate people inform him that Troy could not talk to him. Seeing him at the mission, I figured something would be coming soon. Yesterday we got our papers asking Troy to appear court on June 11^th. (A special birthday gift from the former school director - for Troy. How sweet of him to remember!) We don’t know why he is taking us to court again … that part will be a mystery until the scheduled court time of 10am Wednesday. TIH.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There is some nasty Haitian-Happiness bug going through our family right now. When we see people running for a bathroom we just step aside quickly. Hope puked in her hands the other night, it was quite impressive. We wish she would train the boys to do that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The time without the Internet has given us opportunity to talk A LOT and to read. That part has been really good. I heard stories about Troy that I have never heard - it was fun to learn new things about my wonderful man. I am not sure how you can be married ten years before you hear that your husband once had his very life threatened by a high Cocaine junkie, but that was exactly what I learned.

The books we’re reading with our time have led to great discussions. Troy just finished Heavenly Man and A Crime so Monstrous and is now reading Epicenter and Confessions of a Reformissionist Rev. I finished The Shack and am reading Myth of a Christian Nation. All of the books except for A Crime so Monstrous are about two or three years old. Being away from the bookstores- we're always a couple of years behind. We hear after the fact that some of these books were “controversial” and it is kind of nice to read them free from everyone’s opinions and be able to have our own thoughts on what we read - taking what we can and leaving what sounds odd - but not tainted by anyone else’s review.

In our deep conversations and soul searching of late, we have identified some things.

Have you ever watched the Biggest Loser? Have you ever read anything those folks say after they are done and trying to live their lives in a new body? They talk about feeling uneasy because they are so different than they used to be. They feel that people who knew them as fat have trouble accepting them as thin. They themselves find that they are sort of uncomfortable because they were used to the old version of themselves and they don’t have a true comfort level or an understanding or an acceptance of their new identity.

All of that relates a lot to outward appearance, yet it is so hard to reconcile. Imagine the discomfort when the changes are not simply external, but internal. Troy and I realize that we are so different than we used to be that we’re not even comfortable in our own skin at times. We view things in new ways, with new eyes and many of the things we used to think are being challenged and reformed. It leaves us feeling uncertain of ourselves at times and if we’re reconciling our own new thoughts and opinions, it makes sense that we often feel misunderstood by others. It is kind of a lonely place at times. It is not bad or the fault of any person. It just is.

More than anything we're glad that we're changing together and that we understand each other. I can toss out some really weird new thing I am thinking and not have the thought diminished or dismissed - because Troy is experiencing all the same things and wrestling with the same issues. God is so awesome to give us one another. :) I think loneliness is a part of the human condition because we never fully accept God's love for us. We always let our own perceptions of Him and our own pain get in the way of receiving that. We feel misunderstood on a much grander scale than what I have just described. We're trying really hard to just be where we are without feeling the need to be understood. I think it is our attempt to just rest in Him.

Some days we get good rest, others -- not so much. (Sigh.)

When Troy was out of town recently he had something occur to him that I had occur to me over the same weekend. Those are super cool moments -- where you are more certain it is God's prompting ... we were many miles apart yet hearing the same thing.

I'm not sure how to wrap these random/incoherent thoughts up. So I won't try. We're plugging along. Our team of 12 is mainly a youth group and they're busy soaking in a new culture. We hope you're well today and finding your own peace in places of uncertainty and challenge. We believe that if you seek Him - He will be found.

Seeking,
t & t

Posting for the future

This is Troy. I'm in Port right now awaiting the team's arrival, which is late as always...the combination of the Miami Airport, American Airlines, and Haitian travelers usually amounts to many many delays. TIH.

I'm on the McHoul's internet getting caught up on emails and monthly mission business while I can do so, and Tara sweetly requested that I post to the blog. But not just post - FUTURE POST. Scary. So NOW, instead of trying to think of what to write to you today, I have to figure out what to write for MONDAY when this posts.

Peter will be meeting me at the airport later...right now he is visiting Beanne (H & P's birthmother), and dropping off some clothes and a little money that we sent to her.

Beanne has been wanting to start a business again selling clothes. She used to do this but was robbed a couple years ago and hasn't had the startup money to do it again. She had another job as a housekeeper until recently, but she left that to stay at home and take care of one of her other daughters who is now pregnant. (With her third child. I think H & P currently have four nieces and nephews from the two older siblings still living with Beanne.) We've helped them whenever possible to make sure they have a roof over their heads. Sometimes it is hard to know how much help to give though, and this sort of relationship in an adoption is definitely uncharted territory for most.

When it comes right down to it, I can't say no to her. I will probably never be able to explain it - but I'm going to try a little bit...

Living here surrounded by so much need and pain, it is a constant frustration trying to know how and where and who to help. The fact that so many are scamming the system leaves many jaded and cynical about this whole country. I understand that and have experienced it at times. Running a mission, and trying to be a good steward with its resources and for those of our family puts the challenge of discerning who to help before us at all times. We've been burned, and we've learned from it. We've been blessed and able to benefit others who really are hurting as well.

With Beanne I always feel like it's the latter. I feel deeply connected to her and her family - of course because she has given two children to us - but also because it has been a blessing for me to get to know her. She helps me keep things in perspective. I might never experience a life as hard as hers. I want to make hers better. She is always joyful and pleasant. From our western mindset there is no reason she should ever be. She has made mistakes in her life, and so have I. I haven't had to live out the wages of my sin the way she has. We're both forgiven, and she is filled with joy because of it. A joy I don't always have or understand. She is truly happy that her two girls are in our family and thankful that we are caring for them. She loves to see them and know that they are doing well, but seems to have no problem watching us walk away with them after a visit. I just can't imagine how hard that must be. She doesn't always know how she or her family will survive, but she has faith that they will. Our family has never suffered or had real fear about the future, but our faith wavers.

I love her for sharing her family with us, and it makes me want to share anything I can with her.

Here is what prompted me to write this - Beanne called me from Peter's phone before he left her. She was excited and brimming with joy to get to say thank you. What we sent her was nothing. She said it will change her life. She said she can't repay anything but will not sleep until she is done praying for our family. What more could we want? That is so humbling to me. And another reason why I love her. She has things in perspective. I hope I can get there too.

Please join me in praying for her and her daughters Joanne and Bedline who live with her, and the four (soon to be five) grandchildren (Bedlines two + children live with Beanne still, Joanne gave her two children up for adoption). Pray for them to rely only on their Heavenly Father to care for them and to stop turning to men who let them down. Pray for us to have wisdom to know how and when to help. Please pray too for the countless other women in this country who are alone and discarded by a society that uses them and leaves them behind.

LOA

Our ability to get away and check in on the world via Internet will diminish greatly this week.

It is very odd (and honestly- difficult) to feel so disconnected from the news of the world, family and friends ... but it is what it is and it seems that we are not in a position to get it fixed anytime soon.

We've scheduled a couple of posts, but other than that we need to take a blogging leave of absence.

Until then,

t&t

End of the week rundown ...

My best friend Lisa tells me, “People love bullet points”. Lisa is known for many other very deep and meaningful thoughts too. I'll have to save those for another day.

For today; we give you our weekly run-down bullet-point-style:

• The Internet at the hotel we went to on Friday drops every so often, we’re accustomed enough to this sort of service that we don’t even move from our chair to ask, we know it will come back in time. (TIH)
  
• Paige told us that she prefers to have total control of the house. Rather than sharing responsibility with whichever parent is home, she wants to be large and in charge. She actually went as far as to say, “It is better for me when you’re not here.” We’re still reeling from the pain of that verbal assault - but all in all we did see that while we were gone for a couple hours finding Internet, she handled six kids and the house and never broke a sweat. In fact, things seemed eerily calm upon our return. We’re sorry she does not need us – yet we’re totally impressed by her moxie.
• We had one very long hard rain and got about four inches of rain in less than 90 minutes.
• The Haitian Doctor that worked with Jen a bit in May has been hired and will re-open the clinic on Monday. We’re VERY excited about this.
• Paige and her friends are planning a garden. She openly admits that the planning is the fun part and they may never actually plant anything.
• Isaac was on the phone with Grandpa (Tara’s Dad) this week and said, “So how is America?” Grandpa speaks for the entire country - he is that important. Later in the conversation Ike said, “Well I am just making sure you’ve got things under control up there.”
• On Tuesday Phoebe had a 103.8 temp for about four hours, and then she was totally fine.
• Annie and Lydia both had growth spurts and seem bigger.
  
• Troy has been having terrible lower back pain. Not sure what it is about, hoping it goes away really soon. No decent Chiropractor on our road. :(
  
• Thursday Hope was not-so-patiently trying to teach the boys the RIGHT way to play baseball. Listening to her talk to them leads us to believe she has a bit of a superiority complex. But, it *is* hard being the only voice of reason. By about five minutes in Noah was using the bat to try to swing at birds and all plans for a real game went out the window. Poor Hope.
• All the beds are made, the food is purchased (save the bread which the store did not have) (TIH) and we are ready for the team of 11 to come Saturday afternoon.
• The song from Lion King, that kind of cheesy one ... I think it is Elton John- it goes, “And can you feel the love tonight? It is where we are -its enough for this wide eyed wanderer that we got this far” (What does that even mean?) is being played over and over and over every day in the canteen. Apparently this is the song of choice for a dance at graduation and the practicing is taking place every day for the next two weeks. It is very odd to sit in the house and hear Elton John singing in English coming from the canteen. I want to spy on the dance rehearsal, and ask about the choice of song - but have not yet.
• While running to and from the Cross yesterday afternoon for exercise, the song “It’s a Small World” was blaring from speakers in the village somewhere. Random. Three little boys stood staring at me wondering why I was running the same 1/4 mile path over and over and over.
• Noah was climbing a very steep hill behind our house. He thought he was going to catch the cat. The hill is covered in brush and sharp thorns and weeds. I yelled “Honey get back to the front of the house, those weeds are going to make you itch like crazy.” Later I was on the porch when Noah came around the house and said to Isaac, “Isaac, Mom says do NOT go on the hill, it will make you itch and then you will go crazy!” (It’s all in the translation.)
• Still no Internet at home, (TIH) we’ll find you in a few days

There's a calm surrender to the rush of day
When the heat of the rolling world can be turned away
An enchanted moment, and it sees me through
It's enough for this restless warrior just to be with you

And can you feel the love tonight
It is where we are
It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer
That we got this far
And can you feel the love tonight
How it's laid to rest
It's enough to make kings and vagabonds
Believe the very best

There's a time for everyone if they only learn
That the twisting kaleidoscope moves us all in turn
There's a rhyme and reason to the wild outdoors
When the heart of this star-crossed voyager beats in time with yours

And now this odd song can also be stuck in your head!

Dear Grandma Livesay and Grandma Porter,

I just wanted to show you my two new teeth.

Check out those chompers, nice huh?

I love you!

~Lydie B.

T.I.H

Today we are formally introducing you to a very important part of our vocabulary here in Haiti.

T.I.H. stands for: This Is Haiti. 

There are actions that go with this saying. In order to use T-I-H properly, you must lift both shoulders up (a shrugging motion) and raise your eyebrows at the same time. It is all one fluid motion. 

Try it.  

Now try it while saying the letters – T I H.

Got it?

If you have seen the movie “Blood Diamond”, set in Africa, you might remember this saying as T.I.A. (This is Africa). It can apply anywhere really; if you live in a weird place where things happen just because it is locally accepted you might say, “T.I.S” (This is Small-town, USA)

We hail from Zimmerman, MN where having a broken washing machine, and maybe an oven on your lawn is totally acceptable. When your friends visit and ask you about said washing machine, we would just shrug and say, “T.I.Z.” Actually, as long as you don’t live in Texas, Tennessee or Tulsa this works.

There is nothing derogatory about using TIH. It is simply a way of saying MANY things. If something happens for which there is no great explanation you might shrug and say “T-I-H” If nothing went as planned and cultural norms kicked your rear-end, you might throw your hands in the air and say “T-I-H!” If you’ve just been beat-down by the way things work here - and you’re aware of it - yet slightly annoyed; “T-I-H.”

Below are just a few “TIH” examples to help you fully understand.

1.
Troy buys Coke, Pepsi, and Sprite by the case in glass bottles. This pop is all produced here in Haiti. It is pretty cheap but you must return the glass bottles when you go get a new case. We go through a ton of it when teams are here, and would probably be considered a high volume customer, if such a classification existed. There is a guy on our road about a half a mile from the mission that sells it. There is also a much bigger and more reliable place that sells it about three miles away. The man on the road that sells it is named Rudy. Troy and Rudy have a pretty decent working relationship. Rudy trusts Troy to bring the empties back and will sometimes give him a new case with just a verbal promise that the empties will be brought to him within a day or two. For quite some time now Rudy has not had Coke or Pepsi, only Sprite and Teem. Troy keeps telling him that he will need to go to the other vendor to get it. Rudy keeps saying, “It is coming tomorrow.” This game has gone on for a while. Tomorrow never comes. Finally, running out of patience, Troy goes to get Coke from the other vendor. We have to drive by Rudy to get home. Rudy is very upset that Troy went elsewhere. Rudy says, “I thought we were friends!” Because this is a cultural thing, where relationship matters more than a need for Coke, Troy broke a cultural rule. Rather than be annoyed with Rudy, Troy shrugs and says, “T-I-H” and we hope next time Rudy actually has Coke so that we can be friends again.

2.
When we’re out and about and we see something that absolutely defies logic or safety, it gets the “T-I-H” stamp. Brief examples:

• A Donkey carrying a very large Television
• A motorcycle carrying one adult and five children
• A man sleeping on the top of a bus as it barrels down the bumpy road at 50mph
• A truck so loaded down with people the back bumper drags at times
• Grocery stores without bread, meat, or cheese

3.
We’ve learned that Gas stations don’t necessarily have gas. The name “gas” station is misleading. True. When the station is out of gas, Troy might ask them when they expect to have Diesel delivered. Their response never varies, “Demen si Dye vle” which translates, “tomorrow if God wants”. Rather than be annoyed at that response that means something all at the same time that it means nothing … you just give it a good old, “T-I-H!”

Now you are in the club. Keep practicing the motion along with speaking the letters,  put your own hometown spin on it … and enjoy!

Bummer

We have to leave now - did not get time to write. Hope we'll be back in business at home soon.

Mwen la

Hi-
A cloudy (weird) day in Haiti today. I have way too much real work to do to blog right now. I'm using McHoul's internet to get work done while Troy gets the groceries for a team coming on Saturday. If I work fast I'll try to post later.

Hope you're all doing well.

t.

Monday ...

We are without Internet. We are borrowing from a local “café” at the moment and will hopefully get it fixed at the mission/home soon. Until then if you need to reach us please use Troy’s Haiti cell number. (Listed on left side of blog.)

T&T&tribe

Dear Someone Somewhere,

A while back I put parentheses around the word (Haiti) in the blog title. There was a reason for that. Because we reside and work in Haiti the majority of readers come looking for Haiti news. We don't only write about Haiti. We write about our kids about half the time ... they are more than half of our day to day life.

We'll keep telling Haiti stories, the good the bad and everything in between. There are some stories that are hard to tell and time needs to pass before they're told, there are others that are hard to explain without causing offense and therefore feel wrong to tell. But no matter what, those stories will always appear here whenever possible.

In October of 2006 I said this:
Blogs are on-line journals. Everything is editorial. It is just our opinion, we recognize you will either take it or leave it. We're not a news organization, we're a stupid blog.

Contrary to one person's criticism, we do not think Haiti is hopeless, why would we be here if we thought that? Sure, sometimes it feels that way when surrounded by so much poverty, so little infrastructure, and many years of poor government management. We're human. We get discouraged. But there is always hope. Without Christ, our lives would be without hope. With Him all things are given an element of hope. We believe that with every fiber of our being.

And, while many of our Haiti experiences have reshaped our thoughts about faith, and Haiti and ministry, (and about blogging on the interweb) the words above are still true. 

We also share the random, inconsequential, mundane and unusual things that happen in our lives. We love that you're here. We love that you're reading. We know some days you're like, "Say something would you?!??!!?" Because things can get pretty fluffy at times. Many times you probably wish we would shut up about our kids. We get that too. We're so fond of them though!

Truth be told, we keep this blog for many reasons. Some selfish, some not.  This is my journal. This is a history I can leave my children and their children.

When we left the USA I left behind things that I called "recreation." I miss long weekend runs along quiet Minnesota roads, breathing in crisp fall air. I no longer have the luxury of meeting a friend for a day of chatting and encouragement. We don't double date with our friends anymore. There are not sporting event outings or concerts. Not complaining, just explaining. (Okay, maybe I am complaining a little.) Writing has replaced those hobbies that are not available to me here. For whatever reason there are days when writing is cathartic. Because I cannot always easily talk it out on the phone with my sister or a friend, well then ... by golly ... I will write it down for dozens of strangers to read. ;) That makes total sense (?)

In reality, the MAIN point of writing this stuff out (outside of - and more important than - the ones already listed) ... is to hopefully encourage someone somewhere. Troy and I believe that God is the author of every good story, and without any prideful tone, we think we are one of those good God stories. Here is why: No less than 11 years ago we were broken, hurting, lost, twenty-somethings in search of God. Troy would tell you he was leading a double life, and I was pretty trapped in my own deceit. We'd both done things we were terribly ashamed of and we were both running hard from anything and everything that smelled like, looked like, or even hinted of God, or faith.

The fact is, we hope that we are a living, breathing example of the way God writes redemption stories.

If you've ever said "God cannot use me" or if heaven forbid- some holy-roller person told you that you were not usable because of X Y or Z in your past - you must know those are lies.

God can and does use anyone willing to be forgiven and forgive themselves. We had to do that in order to allow Him to work. We've seen and experienced rejection from those who believe falsely that God is only performance based ... and we venture to guess you have too. Throw off those opinions, they are very small things.

What is true about you, what is true about us-  is what God sees. And if we believed today - that God cannot use us - because TODAY we struggle with the hard facts of life and we grapple with deep questions of faith --- we'd have to close up shop. There is a way in which God can use anyone and everyone seeking Him. Having every little answer packaged up nice in a fancy box is not necessary or possible.

Not. Necessary. Not. Possible.

There is a misconception about what it looks like to be used. I don't think it only looks like going to Africa to hold AIDS babies.  I don't think it only looks like pulling up stakes and going somewhere far from where you live today.

I think it looks like something different for each person. That is an issue for each of us to work out with God. I think for some it is reaching out to the guy next door whose wife just left him, inviting him over for dinner. I think for others it means coming along side a 16 year old that is pregnant and afraid. Maybe it means baby-sitting for a struggling single mom down the street. Maybe it is as simple as being kind to a real geek/dork that you work with. Maybe it is finding out how to interact with the homeless in your community and going way outside your comfort zone to do it.  It mainly means allowing God to take us to uncomfortable places where we're loving people that we don't find all that lovable. The location in which it happens is irrelevant.

The people that showed me unconditional love when I was a pregnant unwed mother (twice) are the people that changed the course of my life. The people that showed Troy compassion during a time of searching and running and lying are the people that laid the ground work for him to be doing that for others today.

We hope there is something here for you. Whether it be a story about Haiti that moves you, a goofy kid moment, a confession that helps you know you're not alone in your struggles or a chance to see God's amazing creativity and ingenuity by working with ordinary people that are not missions trained, ordained, perfect, or even all that together ... Be encouraged.

tara (& troy)

blubbering fool

I spent the weekend missing Britt and feeling guilty for being so far away from her. I flipped in and out of prayer - unless you count commiserating with yourself some sort of prayer language - and if you do, well then, I prayed the ENTIRE weekend.

Britt wanted to go to school early, we were hesitantly supportive. But it has been hard for her and hard for us. Having her here last week felt so normal. My reaction to her leaving was stronger than I anticipated. Stronger than the emotions of leaving her in January. Beth McHoul tells me I am normal. I am not sure what that means ... if you've met her husband you know why I question her idea of normal. ;)

So in my praying times I kept asking God for ideas, for ways in which I could encourage Britt from afar. I specifically prayed about people in her area that might kind of "mother" her a bit.

Britter just called from Texas, summer classes start this week. She told me that Abby B. (not sure she wants her whole name on the Internet) rocked the house today. You must know that I have never met Abby, neither has Britt. But today, someone I've never met volunteered to drive Britt from Austin to Waco (not a short trip) and refused to let her pay for gas, bought her lunch and took the time to take her grocery shopping before dropping her to her place.

Britt said it was not a small thing because this is the very first time she has ever had to do a "real" grocery trip. Up until this point she was on a meal plan, in a dorm and did not have to consider things like toilet paper and saran wrap. Abby helped her with all of that. A person I have never met. How is that for a quick turn-around and an answer to prayer?

Thank you SO MUCH Abby and Rony. My overactive tear ducts turned out some product when Britt shared the ways you blessed us today. Thank you.

Britt, we're cheering for you. We know this is a BIG thing you're doing. We love you and we're certain that you CAN do it. AND, we're also counting the days until you come back here. Sic' em bear!

And, for your enjoyment ... word for word Isaac's dinner prayer tonight:

dear god
thank you so much for britt and help her lord and never let her give up and never let anything get in the middle of the way of her and we love her lord. amen. and oh maybe send her gold.

After the prayer-

Me- Send her gold?

Ike - Yeah, I don't know how God is gonna do that though.