Boy Quotes

Noah-

"When I grow up I will be brown like Isaac."

"Dad, I am saying when you have permission to kiss Mom. No doing romantics until I say it is okay."

Isaac-

"How do they make Frosted Flakes? If we just knew how they make them we could make them ourselves and save a lot of money."

"In America they don't have generators, because they have electrical poles - and they also don't have problems."

Run

Good post at SCL today.

In other news - there is a new post at the runners blog, please check it out and pass it on!

www.heartlinerunners.blogspot.com

Confusion Abounds

Tuesday is Early Childhood Development day. This week, it was also a day to solve mysteries.

For whatever reason (that I do not understand) lots of people in Haiti have names, nicknames, and other names that they go by - and then their real name might or might not be known and/or used.

It is not uncommon for one person to answer to three names. This is very confusing to the expats who are used to: first name - last name - and only one possible spelling. The spelling of a name changes week to week ... and if I wanted to fully embrace my current culture and fit in I might go by Tara one week, Rachelle another week, spell it Terra sometimes for fun and then another time when asked my name I might just say "T." or maybe Livesay or even some other nickname like "Fifi" and let everyone else figure out what that is all about.

Today a very thin woman walked in. I knew right away that she was not a regular in our program. She was so tall and thin you would not easily forget her. She explained that her friend sent her with her (the friend's) baby because she was too sick to come herself.

We asked the obvious question "who is your friend?"

This is the rest of our conversation:

Tall Girl - Rose Marie Devalier

Me- Rose Marie Devalier? Huh? (not recognized as a name in our program)

Tall Girl - Yes

Me- We have a lady with that last name in pre-natal but her baby is not due for months.

Me- How old is that baby?

Tall Girl- It was born October 1st

Me- What? Okay. What is the Mom's name again?

Tall Girl - Rose Marie

Me- Does she go by any other name?

Tall Girl- I don't know. yes. I think. Maybe.

Me- Okay then - what is the baby's name?

Tall Girl- I don't know. I forget.

Me- You don't know the name of the baby you're caring for? Well, is it a boy or a girl?

(baby is dressed in white and pink frilly clothing)

Tall Girl- long pause ... thinking .. "A little boy"

Paige- So he was born in October?

Tall Girl- No I said he was born in August.

Me- Does the Mom go by the name "Rethly?" (I guessed this because the last name almost matched up right with a Mom named Rethly who had a baby in August.)

Tall Girl- Yes Yes she does.

We weigh the baby. The baby weighs the total wrong weight to be Rethly's baby. If it were her baby it had lost 5 pounds in a couple of weeks.

Me- Still digging through files, taking a wild guess, "Is that baby Judens?"

Tall Girl - (with enthusiasm this time) YES YES --- I FORGOT - YES THAT IS THE NAME OF THE BABY!!

Me- Okay, good ... so, is the mom RoseManie Charles?

Tall Girl- Yes!

(Never mind that the name Charles had never been given.)

At that point we were ten minutes in and searching files frantically trying to figure out who the baby belonged to ... still not exactly sure why the friend gave all goofy information at first ... but it felt like a major victory to identify the baby and figure out who his Mama was. Oh, and the baby was actually born Sept 16 ... details-schmetails.

Basically, the tall girl knew this: She had a baby - in her arms - that someone she is aware of - gave birth to - sometime in the past. What more is there?

We sent the tall girl into class after she told us that the baby was ill and needed to see the Doctor and that she was also pregnant and wanted to join the program. We told her we would see both of them after the lesson.

During class we observed her taking a baby bottle out of her purse for the baby. That was when we also noticed her Bible and her bottle of Barbancourt Rum. Finding that combination of items entertaining, Beth snapped a few photos.


After class John Ackerman saw the baby boy, named Judens, while we did a pregnancy test and made sure that the pregnant mom was not sipping on the Barbancourt. (She said it was not for her, but for a friend.)

If the process of identifying the baby she was caring for was any indicator, I would have to say she'd had a giant glass of rum on her tap-tap ride over.

Case closed.

Mamba Miracles

Jonas
dob 4.20.06 13.6 kg to 14.7 kg had severe case of kwash

Giliane
dob 8/10/05 10.9kg - 12.8kg

Claudia
dob 4.20.05 severe kwash
12.2 kg down to 11.4kg and back up to 12.5kg (kwash gone!)

Birth Center Parties

Of all the things our teenage daughter could be doing on a Friday night, we're pretty pleased that this is her version of a wild night out. :)

(In this video - Sarah, Joanna, Stephanie - Certified Midwives - along with Vivien, Corrie, Britney - all here in Haiti helping to teach missionary kids and assist at Heartline - along with Megan H.- works for Heartline and Paige.)

Flag Football Haiti Style

Sweatbands make the athlete ...


The cheering section ... (Noah alternates cheering and playing) (Renald alternates running onto the field and cheering)

The neighborhood we live in would be considered middle class. The homes are larger and usually have quite a few people living in them but they are homes with running water and electricity (most of the time).

We are very lucky that just three blocks away there is a giant soccer field for the kids to go run. Our "yard" does not have a blade of grass - so going to the field for some freedom is GREAT fun.

A Good Read

These paragraphs (excerpts) resonate:

Taken from "Why I stopped serving the Poor"
By Claudio Oliver

Throughout my life I have kept the habit of always asking myself whether what I am doing makes sense, whether my heart is aligned with God’s will, and whether or not I am missing the point.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over the years I’ve discovered that the very position of serving the poor from a commitment to “liberate” them, has been filled with a sense of superiority. A kind of superiority that is translated into giving others what I have, assuming through my actions that what I have or do is what he/she should have or do. This subtle translation is noticed in the subtle arrogance of the so-called politics of “inclusion”, always trying to put the other inside the box where I live, including them in the sameness of my lifestyle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All of this led me to give up on serving the poor. By making this kind of statement I am not taking sides with those who, from their positions of wealth, comfort and well being say, “See? That’s what I have always thought.” I’m sorry to inform these people that in no way do I believe in or embrace their lifestyle. A lifestyle that by design, separates them from contact with the poor, the sick, the hungry, the naked, the ugly, the smelly, and the “uncivilized” barbarians.
I do not side with those who pay their taxes or contribute to charity saying in that way they are fulfilling their role. To these people I keep on retransmitting the message of Jesus that confronts their blind, insensitive and arrogant lifestyles, a message that calls madness what the worlds calls security.

~~~~~~~~~~~

We suddenly saw ourselves mirrored in the very “poor” we were serving. We recognized that we were constantly using the same excuses and lies to get what we wanted - perhaps more successfully, and surely with more social acceptance and security mechanisms. But throughout this process we came to discover that we were “the poor”.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The only way to remain with the poor is if we discover that we are the miserable ones. We remain with the poor when we recognize ourselves, even if well disguised, in him/her who is right before our eyes. When we can see our own misery and poverty in them, when we realize our own needs and our desperate need to be saved and liberated, then and only then will we meet Jesus and live life according to His agenda.

God is not manifest in our ability to heal, but in our need to be healed. Finding out this weakness of ours leaves us in a position of having nothing to offer, serve, donate, but reveals our need to be loved, healed and restored.

Herein lies the meaning that the power within us is not the power of our strengths, abilities and wealth, but rather, in the power that is present in our personal misery, so well hidden and disguised in our possessions and false securities.

~~~~~~~~~

Serving from the Bottom-Up

I came to re-encounter my poverty, to see myself in each situation of misery, and to get in touch with my inner pain. From there, I pray for healing, freedom, community and love. I ask for mercy and restoration.

Whoever serves out of the sense of having something to offer, serves from the top down.

Jesus calls us to become incarnate and to see ourselves in the other and to place ourselves under him or her as powerless dependents. He calls us to give up in trusting our own capacity to impart goodness and to change our direction in order to encounter and recognize our own wounds, weakness and pain. From there, we discover the power that lies in being less and not more.

Bulletpoints from the week that was

Good:

• Purging thoughts and struggles in blog posts.
• Settling back into a routine of sorts.
• Having hope.
  
• Babies being born at Heartline. The fourth one was born yesterday.
  
• Paige as a "doula".
  
• Encouragement provided to Paige from sweet new friends.
  
• God's grace.
  
• The adoption finally moved forward. One step is all it takes to call it "progress".
• EDH schedule that gives city power NINETEEN out of 24 hours. :)
  
• Spending almost nothing on diesel for the generator.
• Having friends here and having friends there. And knowing distance cannot break our bond.
• Taking prophylactic Chloroquine until the rain lets up, and knowing that fevers don't mean Malaria.
• Knowing Britt and Chris are coming to visit in a couple of months.
  
• The steak in the freezer from Minnesota that is fun to look at a few times a day.
• The planning of a weekend getaway for our Anniversary in November.
• Being ready to run 12 miles before the sun is even up.
• A forgiving and mellow husband.
  
• More Medika Mamba graduates in Cazale. (Photos to come.)
  

Bad:

• Dropping Troy's laptop on the floor the other night. Opening it to find the screen does not work. Coming home to show him what I did.
  
• Finding out it will cost about five Benjamins to fix it. Shipping it to America.
• Mystery fevers for Lydie and Annie.
  
• Storms that knock out the EDH.
  
• Heavy rain (after rainy season is supposed to be dwindling) that leaves mud so thick that you cannot walk to Womens Program and cannot run without almost falling on your bum.
• The humidity in PAP this week.
  
• Trying to explain to Isaac why I was married to someone else before his Daddy. I have no idea how he figured it out, but boy - was that a conversation that rocked his world. Divorce is now a concept swimming in Isaac Livesay's mind. :(
  
• When Phoebe walks away with a cell phone and you're forced to call it 25 times until you can track it down in the bottom of a deep toy box or trash can.
• Losing Hope's math book and having to call Vivien to tell her that our parenting is off the charts unorganized this week.
• Waking up because the neighbor next door is doing dishes at 4:30am - that is how close our bedroom is to her kitchen.
• Realizing that something screwy happened to the clock in the night and it is not really 4:30, it is 3:30.
  
• Slamming a cup of coffee before looking at the clocks and figuring out the inaccuracy, ruining the chance to climb back in bed.

Risky:

• Asking people to keep giving.
• Coming back at you again - and so soon.
  
• Go HERE please.
  

More of the same

Today a friend reminded me of this post I wrote almost two years ago while we were in Minnesota on a three month furlough having Lydia and sending Britt off to college.

After being reminded of it I came home and read it. It was interesting to read it again today, in the current "unsettled" place.

Everything in that post is still true. I think the difference is that two years further down the road I understand even less about Haiti and less about why God so clearly directed us here. The long defeat has become more personal and ... well .... longer.

I don't think we'll ever change Haiti and I don't live here because I think it is more significant than living anywhere else. Not at all.

The single reason we live here is because for some reason living here is what was required in order for us to be obedient. I do not like it every day. I do not always do it with a joy filled heart. Sometimes I really stink at obedience and I have fits in my spirit that only He knows about.

Trips back have a way of stirring questions and even discontent. When we go home people always ask "How long do you think you'll stay?" The answer remains the same: we have no idea.

Just as the lyrics to the Sara Groves song say, "I won't pretend to know what's next."

Things always go best when we live in today and make a conscious and purposed decision not to get too puffed up thinking any of this is anything other than an opportunity to turn our total insufficiency and all of our uncertainties, frustrations, and fears over to God.

There are people telling us we need to be Haiti lifers. There are people begging us to return "home". We're trying hard to ignore people and listen for God. We're attempting to love others and walk with Him in the place He planted us until He gives us peace about being planted elsewhere to do that same thing.

Besides re-reading "The Long Defeat" post that was written so long ago, I also read this paragraph below from Carrie's blog.

These things put together are important words for me (and maybe you) this week.

"I've learned that while we like to ask God location questions, He likes to ask us heart questions. Heart questions are the hardest questions. We've grown to understand that whether we're in Beijing or Boston, God wants one thing from us. He wants us to act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with him. (Micah 6:8) We can do that anywhere. We have spent a considerable amount of time asking God where?, waiting for some lightening bolt to fall from heaven and provide us with a specific zip code. But it seems that in the last couple of years, we've learned that God just wants us to fully be where ever we are..."

Haitian Proverb

Anpre dans tanbou lou.
After the dance the drum is heavy.

Tucking in Tuesday

Women's Program went well today. We had a smaller group today, not sure why so many were absent. Today was Early Childhood Development day, moms come to this class for one year after their babies are born. After class John Ackerman, a nurse and 20 year resident of Haiti is available to listen to sick babies and try to offer the moms some help and encouragement.

I am going through this odd season of reflection. Reflecting on the past, uncertain about the future ... basically just sort of unsettled. Traveling seems to do that to me, but also I think it is because we went to a couple of counseling appointments when we were in Minnesota and we talked a lot about what we've learned about ourselves during our time in Haiti. (And what we have learned about Haiti -- which is basically that it won't ever be understood by us.) Those appointments were really good for us - and important - but I am ready to turn my brain off and just feel all settled in my soul again.

I was looking back at our old videos and realized that this one was taken three years ago today. We lived 90 minutes from Port au Prince and we'd been in Haiti only 10 months.



I wish I would not have blinked. Just like that, they're big kids.

(Photos from today of Paige with Sophia and Lisa, Jonna and Beth)

Two

We celebrated the baby of the family tonight, also known as "the grand finale" or "the closer". The video will not upload, so photos must suffice. This is mostly for her godmother and her grandparents who we wish could have been here. (Why weren't you here guys?!!!)

The last remaining one year old in this house is our niece, Annie. We hoped and prayed that she would be a proud American in MN to turn two, but we now know that won't happen. :( She'll have to settle for us on her birthday in late November.

Troy reports an extraordinary day in Port au Prince. He had TWO positive customer service experiences in ONE day. Two in one month is the previous record. A shocking turn of events no doubt.

The kids are back to school with Vivien and seem ready to get back in gear. She is working hard with them and they all seem to enjoy the set-up.

No time for more right now. Happy Tuesday.

Hit the ground running

Our flights went well. We won't dwell on it or rip on the rude rude rude lady in Miami that treated us like we were not customers of American Airlines. :) Other than one little issue with Nadia our travel day was perfect. We landed in PAP about five minutes earlier than scheduled and got home to the crew by 5pm. Viv and Meg made a great dinner and the only kid that seemed ticked off at us for being gone was Phoebe, she got over it quickly.

We got the kids to bed and got to work unpacking. At about 8pm just as we were about to collapse from being up since 3am, the phone rang and Beth said that a baby was on the way. Paige and I packed up and headed out for a night of excitement and praying. The labor lasted all through the night and then at 7:19 am a LARGE, beautiful baby boy arrived.

Mom and baby are doing well and we were so blessed to be a small part of witnessing the miracle of birth/life. We headed back home around noon. I fell asleep three times at the wheel getting our crew back down to Tabarre after the birth. Thankfully driving in Haiti is insane enough that even asleep you seem like a decent driver compared to most. ;)

We're anxious to get back into the swing of things this week as life returns to "normal".

Tomorrow night (Monday) we are having a big birthday party for Lydia and Beth. It is hard for me to believe that Lydie is two already. I vividly remember dragging Troy to the "prayer rock" to announce the news that I was pregnant. Time flies and these kids are growing up so fast. It makes me kind of sad. (But - NO, I am not having any more babies.) I'll try to get over to use internet somewhere to post Birthday party photos for the Grandparents.

Runners:
Would any of you planning to run the Disney Marathon in January of 2010 please write me and let me know. We're organizing all the runners to work together on a project and we may not be aware of everyone who has registered for the events. tara.livesay@worldwidevillage.org

(Photo of Britt and Paige taken last week in MN. Photo of Lydie taken by MK Smith in late September.)

700 miles to go

We are in Miami, getting excited to see our girls and Renald.

Our carry-ons are filled with an odd combination of items - including broccoli, cauliflower, and sugar snap peas.

We had a farily smooth trip through the MSP airport. The lady at the American Airlines counter gave us props for our system and wondered if maybe we'd done this trip a time or two. I told her that when you stand there at 4:45am with kids and stacks of huge bags you want to be very good at it and draw as little attention to yourself as possible. :) Noah melted down crying in the security line but we got through it no worse for the wear.

MK Smith put together a video for us from the banquet that took place Sunday night. Paige spoke about her experience with Renald that night. If you want to see it you can go HERE and enter the password: Renald

In the next few days we're going to put up a link to a permanent way to donate specifically to the Medika Mamba project now that the marathon is over.

Time to head to our gate. We'll find you from P-au-P soon.

More bitter than sweet

We head home at 6am tomorrow. Goodbyes are not very fun. Being "home" always reminds us of all that we miss out on. Our nephews and niece are growing up and it is sad to know they don't know us or us them. It seems like it should get easier, but it never does.

In spite of loathing the goodbyes, we are anxious to get back to love on all the babies and the big girls too. (I am sure Megan, Vivien and Hope all LOVE being called "big girls".)

If American Airlines and the friendly skies all cooperate we should be home in about 24 hours.

Friends/Family-
Thanks for your love. To all of you we got to spend a few precious moments with, please know we wish it could have been more.

Heading South-
T&T and the traveling team

More Marathon Pics

(getting pain meds)

(looking toward the finish)

(Rachel and Nadia)

(Noah and Cousin Josh)

(Click on any of these picture to enlarge.)

Marathon Pics

Race Report sans Photos

Thank you guys. I just read Troy's facebook page and am sitting here so touched by your love. I wish I could communicate my feelings better ... I can't possibly explain how supported we felt yesterday. Now I know why. :)

Last night I was informed that the Medika Mamba total was at $62,600 . That is nutty, nutty, nutty. (No pun intended.) Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

My Lydia Beth turned two yesteray. I thought of her at mile 18 when I wondered, "Have I ever been in this much pain on October 4th before?" The answer is no, she was c-section and it was much less painful. :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY LYDIE! We are really missing the kids at home and continue to pray for Meg and Viv and all the kiddos.

Race Report:
For non-runners, this will be far too much information - so skip this section.

Slept fitfully, nerves, nerves and a room that was far too quiet. (I am used to sleeping in a vortex of fans and noise.) Got up at 5:50am. Breakfast at 6:10. Left the hotel to head to start line at 7:05. We went into the Metrodome to stay warm and use the facilities. 8:08 was the time we crossed the start line. The first miles felt pretty good, the crowd is so thick that you almost need to run slow, that is a good way to start. The first hour was great. We knew Troy, Jen, Tess, Ike, Paige, Noah, Britt, and Chris were at mile 7. The photos are hilarious, we look so stinkin happy we almost look foolish. :) We high fived and did not stop to talk. A few minutes down the road we saw my sister-in-law Laura. At mile 10 we needed bathroom break number one. Someone had bowels that did not cooperate all that well. We saw my aunt and uncle and some super cool ladies that came from South Dakota right around that time. (It is all a blur.) At mile 9-10-11 I was having side aches and struggled to get my breathing to settle in right. I was very frustrated. I have never had that happen in Haiti. The hot humid air must agree with me. We stopped and ate at mile 11 when we saw our gang again. I whined a little bit and then Troy asked you guys to pray and by the half way point at mile 13 it passed and I never had a side ache again. Tina was aweseome because she was super chill with me when I needed to walk, drink, or ... uh ... the other thing I needed to do.

Miles 13 to 16 went okay but were mentally tougher because I was bummed that I did not feel more gazalle-like and fast. I was setting the pace and we already realized we would not beat 5 hours ... not by a long shot. My hips were killing me by then. At that point we re-adjusted our goal to beat a little old man who was in the 75-79 year old division. (You gotta have goals.)

At mile 17 we saw our peeps again and stopped to grab pain meds. From 17 on I don't think we ever went more than two miles without seeing someone we knew, it was awesome. We stopped to talk to Mom and Dad and Matt and my nephews at about 20. We used the bathroom again. Mile 21 I got the worst cramp in my left calf. I tried to adjust to run on the cramp and got a cramp in my left foot. oh.my.gosh.cramps.hurt.so.bad. That is another thing that never happens to me in Haiti. I never cramp while running. It was very odd. We walked quite a bit after that.

We saw the biggest crowd of the entire race somewhere between 21 and 23. All the different groups converged there and they were loud and totally obnoxious and made us laugh.

Right after that I saw friends from my old work (thanks Corey and Steph) and then friends from the 90's (Sue&Andy - I was in their wedding a lifetime ago) that I never get to see anymore ... that was so cool. We stopped to hug them and ate a banana at 23. I think the third and final emergency restroom break was somewhere in this mile too. Port-a-potties at mile 24 are not not not a very nice place. Blech. My recommendation is to avoid that scene at all costs. For me the cost would have been finishing with poo running down my leg - you do what you gotta do.

After that it was just a game of keeping the cramps from tripping me up and chatting with Tina about how thankful I was for her help. The finish of the race is beautfiul, you come up over a hill and the St Paul cathedral is on your left and the State Capitol building is straight ahead. We had enough juice left to finish fairly strong. (All things being relative.) The finish was really fun ... because finishing is a good thing. Thank you Lord.

End of report.

Okay - if you skipped the race report - the gist of it was that we spent a lot of time in the lav and Tina was patient with me. And we had lots of really good friends and family and people we love that helped us get it done yesterday. We love them so much. *I* love them so much. They were amazing.

Because I ran so stinkin slow we got back to the hotel and had to get ready for the banquet right away. No naps. I made a conscious choice not to think about how much REALLY REALLY MISS so many of the people we were about to see. I tried hard to live in the moment and just enjoy my opportunity to hug them and try to catch up in the 34 seconds we had together. I did not want to spend the whole night crying about that. I am doing that now instead. Paige spoke about Renald and did a beautiful job. Wally and Eleanor Turnbull were honored and were so cute to watch - they had no idea they were going to be honored. It was a great evening.


I get a lump in my throat everytime I reflect on how good you all have been to us. Because of you guys and your gifts of financial support, your gifts of love, your gifts of prayer -- we are hanging in and pressing forward. Your trust and support means so much to Troy and I. Seeing everyone made me wish we could come home and have access to your beautiful faces again. We miss you all so much.



I need to go get some sleepy little boys some breakfast. Our next four days are packed full of errands and visits, I am not sure I will be able to write very much until we get home on Friday. I will post photos later tonight from the race, they turned out so great I want to share them. You have never seen happier looking runners.

A Good Reason (that I lied to you)

It is Friday night. I said I would update totals. The problem is, the total climbs about $50 an hour and the gifts have not stopped arriving, so I need to delay the announcement until after the race. I apologize for lying, but it ain't over yet. :)

The winner of Troy's Haiti photo book is Lubens M. - I will mail it out to you on Monday. :) Thanks to everyone who rallied this last week and gave. Your gifts will help to transform a life and we're so very grateful for your generosity. What an encouragement you have all been to us!

A Message From Haiti

We saw this on Viv's blog. Lydie, Phoebe and Annie are requesting we bring back the cool weather. The problem is, we cannot. ;) They don't have clothes for this MN weather. I think it is supposed to be about 55 on Sunday. BRRRR.

We are shocked at the buzz and the placement of the Star Trib article and just so humbled. Lots of gifts have come in today as a result of the article, which means more children helped. Stuff gets done when God gets involved.

Tonight we are celebrating my Dad's birthday and Isaac again too. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD! I am very thankful to get to be with him this year. Tomorrow Tina and I are going to get our race packets and to a Chiropractor appointment. I will update the totals tomorrow night and do the book drawing too.

With gratitude,
T & T & Tribe