dinner table conversation

Isaac "I hope nobody ever shoots me because I am brown." 

Hope: "Dad is always gonna be with us. He'll protect us." 


Noah: "No, that's not true. You are going to grow up. He won't be with you. That's tragic."


This person - 5' tall - no longer exactly falling into the "cute little innocent black kid" category ...

Nothing much changes, except maybe his height/littleness ... Only needs to put on the 'wrong' clothes and walk in a neighborhood while casually looking around, to possibly be considered "suspicious". 

By Tim Wise:

And by empathy here, I don’t mean merely the ability to feel for the family of this murdered child. I’m guessing most all can manage that much. Rather, I refer to the kind of empathy too rarely attainable, by whites in particular, in the case of black folks who insist, based on their entire life experience and the insight gained from that experience, that their rights to life and liberty are too often subject to the capricious whims of those with less melanin than they, and for reasons owing explicitly to the color of their skin.

Empathy — real empathy, not the situational and utterly phony kind that most any of us can muster when social convention calls for it — requires that one be able to place oneself in the shoes of another, and to consider the world as they must consider it. It requires that we be able to suspend our own culturally-ingrained disbelief long enough to explore the possibility that perhaps the world doesn’t work as we would have it, but rather as others have long insisted it did.

Empathy, which is always among the first casualties of racist thinking, mandates our acceptance of the possibility that maybe it isn’t those long targeted by oppression who are exaggerating the problem or making the proverbial mountain out of a molehill, but rather we who have underestimated the gravity of racial domination and subordination in this country, and reduced what are, in fact, Everest-sized peaks to ankle-high summits, and for our own purposes, rather than in the service of truth.

Tim Wise's full piece can be found HERE. 

The Curious Case of Trayvon Martin

anguish & exhilaration

crushing despair

soaring victory

loss

gain

death

birth

injustice

justice

suffering

joy

calamity

triumph

misery

celebration

darkness

light

anguish

exhilaration

One woman doesn't understand the consequence of her choices.

One woman seizes an opportunity and employs all she's learned.

Over and over Haiti has been described as a land of contrast. So much so that it has become cliche, even a bit worn out.  Beauty and pain intermingled. The thing is: those contrasts are so real, so obvious, so bright that if you don't look away they'll blind you.

After a long thirty-six hours, we're simmering in a pot of fatigue and confusion. The temptation is always to try to figure it all out, to make sense of every interaction and every choice, expecting there always to be clear evidence of cause and effect. We mistakenly presuppose that it should  be easily understood and filed away neatly at the end of the day.

That's not how it plays out.  We end the day the way we started our day; pleading for understanding and strength, grace and mercy  ... "Papa nou bezwen ou - Father we need you."

Today we witnessed the anguish of:

1. Clotilde - who was transported with dangerous preeclampsia earlier than it is typically seen. Today, when picked up from the hospital run by an international organization she shared that she saw her baby on a sonogram alive. She was told it was about the size of a 24+ week old baby. She was informed that she'd have to deliver in order to reduce her dangerous blood pressure. She was induced and delivered a little girl. She never held her daughter. She was counseled afterward. She was told by the hospital psychologist that all things happen for a reason and maybe this was for the best.  She has resolved to see it that way.  "Maybe it is for the best, there was a lot of tension in my family and I was stressed." We dropped her off at home this afternoon.

2. Beatrice -  Delivered a 4 pound 8 ounce baby girl at another area hospital run by a Catholic organization. We rushed her there with lights and sirens Monday believing that she was delivering a full ten weeks prematurely. We learned through information leaked to Agathe that Beatrice lied to us about her dates. She was always tiny - due to her meager income and lack of resources - but she was told by friends that if she said she was further along in her pregnancy we wouldn't take her into our program. Because of her dishonesty we believed her to be premature; we risked her out. One of the most desired and unique benefits of our program is the loving, safe, private room birth that is offered. She delivered with dozens of strangers in the room. Dr. Jen and Melissa had set a protocol for us, they knew that Beatrice had a history of losing babies.  We knew to give Beatrice penicillin while she was in labor to increase the chances of her fourth baby living. Her first three babies all died shortly after birth.  Because of the lie - the baby didn't get the benefit of penicillin. The hospital doesn't have time to know all of that history. The hospital had no idea. When invited, Beatrice said she didn't want to stay a few days to allow her daughter to be closely monitored. She preferred to go home. Her home is a tent.

Today we witnessed the exhilaration of:

1. Vitana - Her twin boys now being called Jean and Jeany :) went back to the hospital where they were born for a scheduled appointment. The Doctor proclaimed "What are you doing?! These boys look great!"  Vitana is courageously facing each overwhelming day of breastfeeding and her boys are getting bigger and stronger by the day.  She and her sister-in-law are heard singing and laughing together in the postpartum area. Together they are fighting hard for these little boys.

2. Chrislene - Just barely 20 years old, and only seven weeks in the program, Chrislene grabbed on to the opportunity to learn about labor, delivery, and nursing her baby.  Even though she was very afraid in the beginning, she believed what she was taught. She listened when Beth brought out her stern granny midwife alter-ego. She complied with requests, she patiently trusted her body and beautifully welcomed her daughter into the world while her Mother stood nearby singing "mesi Jezi mesi Senye".

Mother, Daughter, Granddaughter

Papa nou bezwen ou

(via Jessica Stone - a fellow expat - in north Haiti)

hold fast

The new year began for us in the Dominican Republic in a fairy tale setting at a gorgeous house twenty paces from the Caribbean Sea.  Everything about those ten days was picturesque and relaxing.  We were intentional about leaving Haiti and going to re-group and reflect and relax. 


We were more than privileged and ridiculously lucky to have been able to "take a break".  In no way, shape, or form are we entitled to such favor. It isn't something we take for granted. We're ever aware that for the women we work with in Port au Prince, there is no "break" from real life. They don't jump in the car or on a plane and arrive in a relaxing place in a matter of hours. They don't get to choose to ignore poverty for a few days. They don't rest or reflect, those are concepts only a very select population can entertain. The vast majority hold fast, press on. 


One morning in the D.R. we sat around the table discussing what we hoped to accomplish in 2012. We all had at least a vague idea of one or two small goals for 2012 and expressed our hopefulness and motivation. One small goal of mine was to run more and try to get back to higher miles. 


In 2011 I missed the predictability, stability, and satisfaction that disciplined and purposeful distance running gave me. No other time in my day am I removed from telephones and computers and knocking gates and needy children. No other time allows such freedom to spend time alone talking to God. Knowing that stability is not only good for me, it is good for my family - I declared that 2012 would be a better running year, and for the most part, it has been.


Yesterday for the first time in many weeks I forced myself out of the shelter of our little neighborhood.  The majority  of the 2012 miles have been on a treadmill in my bedroom or in the safe and secure .57 mile loop around the area we live. I was making time for running, but I was hiding from the real world. I wasn't hiding in a Dominican Republic paradise for ten days, but I was hiding just the same.  I was avoiding Port au Prince and the hard realities that running in the city force upon me. 


I purposefully had Troy drop me off in the middle of the chaos hoping that once I was standing there with no easy way home I'd be forced to run in reality again. Forced to see again.


I ran. 
I saw.


I remembered why it is easier to hide from it - easier to look away ... Easier to run in place in my bedroom staring at the wall. It is easier; I'm not sure it is better.


While running in the city, weaving in and out, there is no way not to see what life is like on the streets. Life is hard. Life is unfair. For some life is desperately cruel. Of course I know that from interactions with women in the programs, but sometimes I know it without forcing myself to really know it, to look hard at it, to truly see the suffering - to  risk feeling it.


Even though I can see it, I can't identify with the suffering of my neighbors. I occasionally enter into their stories - but to say that I can truly identify is a total fallacy. My passport, my annual vacation, my ability to hide from it, means I don't fully understand their lives. 


I can look away. 
They cannot. 
I can take a break. 
They cannot. 


As I ran through congested and filthy streets I watched people going about their day, going about their lives. Running in their real world, I remembered what it is that most inspires me about the Haitian people. I was reminded again that they are a people that press on, hold on, keep on  - in the face of great injustice, failing governments, ineffective and non-existent infrastructure, natural disasters, misuse of funds, disease ... they.just.press.on.  


I listened over and over to a song I love by Josh Garrels while I ran and watched the people around me: ' Hold fast like an anchor in the storm ~ Hold fast my people and sing, through peace and through suffering. Hold fast - we will not be moved.' 


There are so many things the Haitian people teach me by the way they live their lives. 
This is just one of them.

Clotilde, Vitana, & Beth's post

Clotilde ...
is being induced today. Her baby isn't big enough to live outside of the womb here in Haiti. In developed nations with machinery and all the technology available tiny babies can often-times survive. As you well know, this isn't a developed nation and the machinery isn't sitting in these hospitals. We're sad for Clotilde and her husband and waiting on their call to tell us how they are. Clotilde took a quick turn for the worse between 3pm and 7pm last night. When we got to the Maternity Center to meet her, we found that her blood pressure was very high and her urine had protein in it. Additionally she had the headache of a lifetime and was in danger of seizing. Dr. Jen helped us by phone and an IV was placed and meds given to stabilize her for the rainy, treacherous ride to try to get her into a hospital. The first hospital didn't have room.  The second one thankfully took her in after seeing the chart and seeing that the meds we gave were wearing off and her BP was once again climbing. The only way to help Clotilde and to "cure" her dangerous preeclampsia is for her to give birth. The hospital is making the only choice they can make.  Please be praying for tender people to gently explain things to Clotilde and her husband.  This is their first child.


Vitana ...

 Twin B (yet to be officially named) is one funny little man.

By Beth-
Coming in and going out:

I sat and enjoyed visiting with 91-year-old Ivy Solomon the other night.  She is heading Stateside on her last journey out of Haiti after serving the people of Ranquite for 60 years.  She is sharp and polite.  We talked Haiti politics and I noticed she is neither naive nor bitter.  Tears welled up as I watched her, thinking that she is not the first of our friends to retire and spend their later years Stateside or in Europe after giving most of their adult years to Haiti.  I’ve said goodbye to dear Salvation Army ladies who we loved.  Women who gave and made Haiti a better place and they made light of it.  No chartered flight, no fanfare, simple celebrations and off they went with a suitcase or two heading back to countries they no longer fit perfectly in.  Women who have given many years to quietly serving in a country that always needs more.  Heroes of the faith who I have been honored to know.

The next morning I took our ambulance to pick up newborn twins who couldn’t deliver with us due to their stubborn sideways positions in the womb.  Fresh from the cesarean section, mom waddles to the truck while the twins squint in the sun being carried by Winnie our nurse and an aunt.  Barely born and already struggling to survive in the harsh country of Haiti.

Here I am, blessed to be an observer at both the end of a story and a beginning of another one.  Unnamed, which is most often the case, twin A and twin B ride back to our post-partum wing and begin their closely watched first few weeks of life.  Mom, Vitana, is a sweet lady who desperately wanted to deliver with us and is astounded that she can breastfeed two.  She will be surrounded by support and encouragement as we walk with them through these fragile first months of life.   Life is hard and it will be doubly hard for this mom of two tiny boys.

I heard John repeat a quote the other day that said something like: “I don’t feel I started well, but I want to finish well.”  Sometimes we are like the twins, twin B at a definite disadvantage, significantly smaller and weaker than his brother.  Some of us are born twin A, we have the edge.  Whatever the gifts we have or don’t have,  how we end is what really matters.  Some of us seem born to struggle, fight harder and work with things against us to win.  Others breeze on through, or like most of us, we are somewhere in the middle.

So here I sit – observing a “well done my good and faithful servant” ending and a struggling beginning of twins.  And what is the lesson for those of us walking in the middle of these two ends – run well with our eyes on the prize.

“I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

End well.

Beth McHoul

learn, laugh, love, live

Today, like all other Thursdays, was a full day. 


We were blessed to have a guest speaker share during the classroom portion of prenatal day. Esther D. talked breast-feeding with the ladies and had the room laughing a lot. We were busy working on getting ready for the day but so enjoyed hearing the room erupt every few minutes. 


Six new women started prenatal program today.

Esther & Niko traveling to class today

Esther - talking breastfeeding and making it fun

38 weeks pregnant? Catch a nap when you can. (Chrislene & Faphane)

We just had pads made for this wicker hoping that during long labors it would be a more tolerable place to rest. I think we've determined the pads are a good upgrade.

Faphane - due April 5

I'm fairly sure Faphane has never been to Evansport, Ohio but she sports the Barney's Bar and Grill shirt well in spite of that fact.

Clotilde is struggling a lot with blood pressure issues. We so hope to find the correct combination of meds to get her out of the danger zone. Please be praying for her and her baby.   


**update - while writing this Beth called to say Clotilde just came back to maternity center and is crying and in a ton of pain, we may need to transport her tonight.  


(Updated update - Clotilde was transported with clear pre-eclampsia and accepted at the second hospital we visited tonight.)

quick visit with the twins on wednesday

Vitana's little twin boys are fighting hard ... they are being watched and fed around the clock. She has a huge job of nursing them almost non-stop. 


We're grateful to a visiting midwife (Betsy from Tejas) for working with Vitana to support the very exhausting (yet rewarding) work she needs to do.  


The good news is, the hard work provided a pay off this morning. They gained 3 ounces in 24 hours and the littler guy is getting kind of feisty after having a lethargic couple of days. In the coming weeks these ounces will most certainly all be celebrated with cheers and congratulations along with "nou fyè de ou"s being freely offered to sweet Vitana. It appears our postpartum area is going to have three adorable residents for an extended period of time.

Our time with the parental/grandparental unit flew quickly by and they are nearing their home by now. The last day was spent staring at the beautiful Caribbean together. It is hard to know we are doing what we want to be doing, feeling pretty certain it is the right thing for now, where we want to be doing it, while making people we love feel sad at the same time. I don't know how to sort all that out, so I don't really try. One or maybe two detoxifying crying-jags are in order -  and we'll be back in business again. 

quoting

"It's not what we eat but what we digest that makes us strong; not what we gain but what we save that makes us rich; not what we read but what we remember that makes us learned; and not what we profess but what we practice that gives us integrity." 
-francis bacon

Vitana's twin boys

Vitana left the hospital and moved to Heartline today. One twin is 6lbs., the other is 4lbs. Please pray for Vitana to have courage to attempt to nurse both boys and for the little twin to put on weight quickly. As far as I know the boys don't yet have names.

Photos: Beth McHoul

spring break 2012

Tara's parents arrived Saturday evening. We hiked Sunday in Kenscoff.  We're going to work at Heartline's new land today. Tuesday and Wednesday are reserved for something exciting and fun - not sure what yet.

Abigail Faith arrived Friday and the kids got to meet her on Saturday. Jimmy and Becky are excited, happy, beaming new parents.

Vitana had her twins via C-section yesterday. Once the hospital releases her she will come for postpartum care and support at Heartline for a week or so.

Hope & Abigail

of birthdays, bakeries, and bread

You've probably noticed Heartline Ministries in Haiti is mainly about working with women and operating programs endeavoring to elevate women.  


For the past five years the shift from caring for orphans into working with and caring for women while attempting to help keep families together has been purposeful and exciting.  


We're truly in awe at how much has changed and how Heartline has expanded. We're astonished by how many people have stepped up to love, support, pray, and give  - allowing us to keep growing and continue moving ever so conscientiously forward.  


Our core programs are about and for women. 


However, the guys have been praying about a program for men for almost two years. The men on staff, Haitian and expats, meet each weekday morning to pray together. They feel that it is time to take on the challenges of fatherlessness and some of the deeper societal issues. They have advanced carefully and prayerfully and are getting ready to officially begin a small program for men.  

John McHoul

Please read this, written by John McHoul (22 years in Haiti, Director of Heartline Ministries):


"Heartline for some time now has been praying and seeking God for His direction as we look to impact men in Haiti. We believe that the Lord is leading us to begin a two year discipleship program for a group of about 10 men. The purpose, of course, is to teach these men (and learn alongside them) what it is to be disciples or followers of Christ. To encourage and support and stand with them as they try to be involved fathers and husbands and grow to be men of character know for their integrity and honesty. 


An important part of this program will be the bakery run by the men. This bakery will be one of the places where we will be able to see if what is being taught in the classroom is being lived outside of the classroom. The proceeds from the bakery will be used to pay for the expenses of running the discipleship program. It isn't enough to provide bread baked in an oven. Jesus said that He is the "Bread of Life" and so this Heartline program isn't just about making bread as much as it is about teaching these men to share the Living Bread, The Bread of Life with others, especially with other men."


Multiple things and a lot of research has been happening in preparation of launching the men's program.  Those of us on the ground here never want to perpetuate cycles of dependency. We continually desire to work in ways that support the liberation and emancipation of the poor in Haiti. We move forward cautiously with those goals and desires in mind.


Today, March 9th, in honor of John McHoul's 59th Birthday we want to raise $5,900 to be used for bakery equipment and start-up costs for the men's program.  


Your donation is tax-deductible and the process is easy and quick:

Please help wish the aging and odd Bostonian a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 


Please pass this along to others. (Pray, Share, Tweet, Give)


Most importantly, please consider helping this program move from "prayers and dreams" stage to BIRTH stage. We're excited to see how this program will grow and evolve and we're thankful to have you working with us to come along side the innovative and tenacious men of Haiti. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHN!!!!

baby coming soon ...

UPDATE:
Baby girl named Abigail Faith born a little before 2pm today! Mom, Dad, and baby are all well. Mesi Jezi.

For the last several days the littler kids have come home from school to announce "Ms. Becky did not have her baby today."  As if she might have had it at school while teaching Math or Science and we'd maybe not heard about it yet. :)

Monday starts our long-scheduled Spring Break week and Grandma and Grandpa get into Port au Prince tomorrow.  

More exciting than that is this:   Becky is in early labor this morning!  Such impressive timing. 

Our kids are obviously off of school today for one bonus spring break day and running around saying spazzy and ridiculous things. I am going to start counting how many times I'm asked "Did Mr. Jimmy and Ms. Becky's baby come out yet?"  I told them this will be an all day event. "All day" apparently means six to seven minutes. Isaac is not enjoying the fact that Becky will have pain today. He'll be glad to hear she is happy and resting with a baby in her arms. We will too! 

Please be praying for Jimmy, Becky, & their baby and for their midwife Betsy that is here from Texas to deliver their baby. 

International Women's Day - Ayiti

 "Bleeding to death after delivery is the leading cause of maternal death worldwide, with the greatest burden of disease in the developing world. Women who give birth at home are especially vulnerable to succumb to this largely preventable cause of death." (Source: USAID)

"No woman should die giving birth." - Our key message for International Women's Day. - The White Ribbon Alliance for Safe Motherhood




In honor of International Women's Day
please consider donating to Heartline Ministries.

(more) haitian proverbs & links

Neg di san fe. Bondye fe san di. 

Men talk and do not act. God acts and does not talk.

links:

• This is a great post for adoptive parents waiting on children to come home.
• The Prayers for Pregos tab has been updated again with new photos and a staff section
• The FAQ tab has new questions/stuff added
• Check out our friends in Uganda working to reduce orphans. Encourage them please!
• Highly anticipated (by someone) one-day event in honor of a birthday coming Friday ... please stay tuned! 

celebration one of three

pizza, frenchfries, cake and tummyache

Yes, refrigerator magnets - don't judge 

Geronne, Hope, Paige, Ike, Noah, Phoebe, Lydie, Becky, Jimmy

We went to a nearby (in miles not in time it takes to travel there) hotel for a pizza birthday celebration last night. Noah used his birthday binoculars to his advantage and checked out everything from the art on the wall, to the moon, while we dined.

Party number two is being held once Grandma and Grandpa Porter get here this weekend. We haven't seen them in fifteen months, the anticipation is building each day. The kids are off school for Spring Break next week while G & G are here. We're hoping to take some time away from regular life and do something fun and out of the ordinary every day of their four days here.

Party number three is not yet scheduled but in order to honor tradition it will be with the McHouls. Noah and John both have early March birthdays and we have done a combined party for the two curly-haired freaks for many of the years we've been in Haiti.  Photos from the the first and second John/Noah celebrations ...

March 2007 - Noah's 3rd

March 2008 - Noah's 4th

fair of face

Monday's child is fair of face ...

Yet another baby girl arrived shortly after 9am this morning.  She is 6lbs 13ounces. Mom and babe are both doing very well.  This is Jeannise's third daughter. Her older girls are 4 and 6 years old.

In 2012 we've not needed to transport anyone; with as many births as we've had that is pretty amazing. We are SO grateful for your prayers for these ladies and their deliveries!

(Photos of Dalina and her daughter are coming, she is bonding and recovering in the Heartline postpartum "wing" for a few days.) 

Noah Eight!

Isaac & Noah Best Friends & Brothers

Besides all the early March babies popping out every time we turn around, today is special for OTHER reasons as well.

Noah Matthew is having a birthday!

Happy Birthday to the silliest person at our house.  Noah is eight years old today.  We're blessed by the daily dose of ornery and goofy he serves us.  We've watched him change SO much this past year. His confidence has grown and his teachers agree that the boy that started school in September has been replaced by a little man that is much more sure of himself.

His entrance into the world was a little rough, but he's no worse for the wear. Noah was born emergency c-section and had the back of his head sliced into because they were going so fast to get him out and save his precious little life. (Nothing says welcome to the world like a knife in the head.) I'm so thankful he is here and making us giggle every day with his comedic use of his lanky double-jointed body. He has an alter-ego he named "Awkward Man" - when we need a laugh Awkward Man shows up to do something awkward and crazy to lighten our moods.

We're excited to celebrate Noah with pizza and swimming tonight.

(Jeannise is very close to delivering.  That makes a baby born at Heartline on March 1, 3, 4, and 5!)

works hard for her living ...

7:10 pm 3/3/2012 a baby girl for Nadine - 5lbs 13ounces

We don't induce labor very often.  We needed to for Nadine today.  Thanks to God for protection over the induction and for a safe delivery tonight. Thanks for your support of and prayers for the mothers and babies we work with; we appreciate you!

Mondays child is fair of face,
Tuesdays child is full of grace,
Wednesdays child is full of woe,
Thursdays child has far to go,
Fridays child is loving and giving,
Saturdays child works hard for his living,
And the child that is born on the Sabbath day
Is bonny and blithe, and good and gay.

brief updates & a little nonsense

Vitana and her twin boys are hanging in and hanging on ... she is ginormous at week 34+ and uncomfortable is a kind word - she'd likely describe it with a few stronger phrases. She carries herself with much grace in spite of her discomfort. Due to the positions of the babies it seems likely we'll have to refer her for a c-section. Even so, we're praying that God makes a way for her twins to be born safely at Heartline. Turn babies and hold on for a few weeks!

Chrislene is going to deliver less than 10 weeks after joining the program. The program is still new and strange to her. Maybe WE are strange and the program itself doesn't phase faze her much. Either way, she's afraid. She broke into a dripping nervous sweat when receiving a shot yesterday. Hoping her tolerance for pain increases by a bazillion before delivery day.

Nadine has had a big jump in blood pressure in the last week. We think she needs to deliver this weekend.  Barring any oddities or big changes in the night the plan is to induce her tomorrow (Saturday). Please pray for a safe delivery for both Nadine and her baby. 

Beth teaches a class every few months where we yuck it up and act like fools by imitating some of the common and normal complaints in pregnancy and mocking bad behaviors.

Smoking and drinking alcohol (obviously) isn't advised  - so Cookie and I walk in spewing all sorts of untruth about how I am too newly pregnant and she is too far along (pillows for proof and enhancement) for our vices to hurt us.

Our bad habits and our utter ignorance about how harmful they are a real crowd pleaser. We enjoy being stupid and making the ladies laugh. (Evidence: See Agathe behind us, she has seen this skit many times over the years and she is still entertained.) 

a day of reunion

It is not unusual for life to be weird here.

When things AREN'T weird, that can even be sort of unsettling. We're totally accustomed to bizarre and unpredictable.

In the course of a day we say things to each other like:

"She is the one whose husband is a zombie."
and
"No, they are not fighting and threatening to kill each other about who made the juice wrong, they are fighting because someone mopped the bathroom before it was supposed to be mopped."
and
"Don't go home that way, there is a manifestation in the street."

Other days we see prayers answered and lives changed, improved, and transformed before our eyes. Some of those things truly defy logic and leave us scratching our heads at the love and provision of our creative God.

All that to say, almost every day has some element of wacky.

In order to frame today's stories, keep in mind the world's population is fast approaching 7 billion. With so many people jetting around the globe it shouldn't be super easy to run into people you're connected to  -- but we're learning that it is.

Back in 2006 I was standing in rural Haiti when John McHoul came to visit Troy and I (we did not know him very well at all then - we only thought of him as "that weird guy with the big head and a lot of hair") and he introduced us to his guest for that week.  After a few minutes we realized that the guest not only went to the same High School as me, he also went to the same Junior High and the same Elementary School.  The guest had come to faith through a relationship with a family - I had been dating the oldest son in that family at the time.  It was a good old days (light on the good, heavy on the old)  of Brooklyn Park, MN reunion right in the middle of rural village-life Haiti. Statistically that seemed kinda crazy.  We never crunched the numbers.

In 2010 I handed Phoebe my phone to play with one afternoon.  A few days later our phone rings and the man on the other end says, "Who is this? I missed a call from this number in the middle of the night."  Troy told him he must be mistaken.  We had never dialed that number. We didn't know his voice. Long story short, the guy on the other end of the call was sitting in India using a Voice over Internet phone -- our daughter had randomly dialed all ten of his digits by playing with the phone. Come to find out on the other end of the phone in India was a man that was no stranger. His wife and I had been emailing for three years.   She had sent us books for the kids and Keen sandals our first year in Haiti. They had briefly lived in the same house in TX that we were temporarily living in at the time the random call was made. We had never met face to face but there we were talking on the phone from India to Texas based on a fluke call made by a three year old. Statistically I am convinced that actually IS impossible.

Yesterday one of the most gifted counselors/psychologists on the planet walked into our house.  It isn't as uniquely unlikely or statistically impossible that we are connecting on Haiti soil but it is incredibly special. She is here for a quick fact finding trip with a few people from her church.

I over-use hyperbole ... But so what, that won't stop me now. There is some saying about "coming full circle" and whenever I'm with this person I think maybe I'm experiencing some sort of full circle moment.

In the early 90's I started seeing a counselor for help with some of my jacked up thinking and destructive habits.  I remember the very first session I had with her. I was amazed so much strength and wisdom could come from such a tiny little person. I knew I had found someone that I could trust with my story. I went home thinking of the Lily Tomlin character in the giant chair on Sesame Street and decided Mary was visually the real life version.  When Isaac met Mary yesterday she explained to him that when you are as small as she is you've got no choice but to have some chutzpah. Isaac loves new words; we'll be listening for him to incorporate that one soon.

Mary was a gift to me in those years and in the years to come. She helped me see and believe that God loved me and that I could love myself. She helped me understand that I was choosing to not forgive myself for my major mess-ups and choosing to stay a mess-up because of that lack of forgiveness. She convinced me that I deserved healthy relationships and was capable of having them.

Over time and in turn the things she asked me to do for myself eventually led me to Troy.  I know for sure that had I not gone to counseling in the early years of Paige's life that Troy and I wouldn't have ended up together.  

Once in our first year of marriage we had a streak of fighting about whether or not we would have kids. (Hilarious irony at this point.) We sought out Mary's help to get to the core issues of our disagreement. She has always been a 'go-to' person in our lives.

While she was getting toured around the house by Lydia and Paige yesterday Troy said to Noah, "If there was no Mary, there would be no you."  We laughed at that ridiculously dramatic statement but then pretty much decided it was 100% true.

In more recent years she's become a very good friend to Paige and has helped Paige with everything from relationship troubles, to trauma, to horseback riding. She will be back in Port au Prince on Sunday and we'll get to spend more time with her.

The thirty minutes we had with her yesterday were pretty.darn.great.

We're so thankful for the daily weird that Haiti consistently delivers, especially when it is this variety of weird.

(If any reader is actually a statistician I would truly like to know how unlikely that phone call made to India was.)

new month, new life

A baby girl at 4:20am for Guerline