we're all weird, but life is sometimes even weirder

Multiple times a year we lose all track of what month it is.  The other day I was running and wondered, "How many more weeks till Easter?"  For some reason I was suddenly transported into March and forgot that Easter came and went quite recently.  Occasionally someone will bring up something about sports and we'll think "Huh, it is football/baseball/basketball season?"  With weather that doesn't change much and nobody decorating things to remind us of the season changes, we just sort of get lost in time warps.

All of that was the long introduction into the bad news that Father's Day kind of snuck up on us.

Because we thought of it for the first time on Saturday night we needed to degaje a bit.  (Degaje means  make it work in any way possible including but not limited to sketchy and unconventional ways.)

Sunday morning we made signs moments before leaving for church. Troy was leading worship and we figured a Father's Day greeting from our row would be way better than any dumb $5 Hallmark card.

When we returned home we had lunch with visiting friends. Later in the day, all at once, ten weak little hands gave Troy a back, foot, leg, hand, arm, shoulder, and head massage that was everything you can hope a massage will be ...  except relaxing.

Here is Noah's giant gift card for the aforementioned massage:

You get a free musuch all ofer you'r bady

Translation: You get a free massage all over your body

(You also get to laugh so hard you cry and your sides hurt. Still free!)

In other current (weird) events ...

Heartline is in the middle of an unusual month of non-stop teams. The leader of the current team is someone I met when I was 15 or 16 when he was my youth Pastor in Brooklyn Park, MN.  He and his wife were at the church for about a year or so when I went through the drama and shame and yada yada yada of pregnancy at age 17. He was incredibly kind to me back then and helped make me feel supported/loved in the middle of a cruddy and difficult time.

This a photo of me (Tara) (the one with big hair and the scary expression) and Todd (Britt's Dad) dedicating Brittany in June 1990.

The Pastor on the right is Brent Bromstrup. The guy that officiated my (1st) wedding and dedicated Britt is currently down the block from our house in Haiti. Seven billion people on the planet, and someone that significant in my life (that I have not seen in 22 years) shows up in our neighborhood. That's just a special kind of weird. 




Following up and other things ...

• Nadege (Friday's post) was treated for Malaria and brought home by Dr. Jen.
• Jeronie's labor stopped. She went home Saturday too. Beth put in a sleepless night before convincing Jeronie that this wasn't the real thing.
• We have found a couple options for our kids' school books to get to Haiti -Thank you! 
• Sergline and Joanne at the Harbor House both graduated in the large class that graduated from sewing school on Friday - Congratulations to all the graduates! 
• Dr. Jen took part of the team to donate blood today.  For travelers to Haiti: Please consider donating blood while you are here.  It is a huge gift you can give. Most people that need blood in Haiti cannot get it and they literally have to barter and beg. Anytime we've needed it we've also needed to repay it by donating to give back what we used. That is how it works here. In the USA the Red Cross does not allow people that have traveled to Haiti to donate for one year after travel. All that to say, you may as well leave some blood here. 

1 through 7 salute you: Happy Father's Day !

with #1 on her wedding day

with #2 on St. Patrick's Day

with # 3 and 5 recording a rap for Christmas

with #4 on Christmas Eve

with # 6 and #7 at Baylor homecoming

Thank you for being the kind of Dad that puts the needs of your children above the zillion other things vying for your time and attention.  We sure do love you.  Happy Father's Day.

XOXO
Britt, Paige, Isaac, Hope, Noah, Phoebe & Lydia

Dear Texans,

If any Texans are coming to Haiti between tomorrow and September and you are flying out of DFW  - we are trying to get a lot of school books to Haiti.

We'd happily pay $40 to have the extra fifty pound bag checked by you - and we'd happily meet you at the airport to pick up the bag of books.

If this is an option for you please email livesayfamily@gmail.com and we'll figure out how to get the books in your hands.

mil mesi

t&t&tribe

Bulletpoints for Friday

• Jeronie is in early, somewhat unproductive, labor.
• Nadege is ill, not in labor but needing prayers.
• The Heartline Sewing School is graduating this year's class today. This is a major event with choreographed dancing, a lot of singing, and fanfare. Troy is playing guitar and singing with the ladies. He said the practice was one of the most entertaining events of 2012. Two of the Harbor House women went through the sewing program and will graduate today.
• Paige is sending happy reports from CA about her first few days there.
• The turtle named Crush has survived a fabulous week under the direction and care of Isaac and Noah Livesay.

Nadege

Jeronie

LINKING YOU:

When a Mother Bleeds to Death, a Nation Bleeds

Why You Matter So Much

Cross-posting Ask Isaac -
Hi, Isaac! You're doing a great job on your blog. I've really enjoyed reading it. I have a question for you: Your parents talk a lot about your sister Paige and how awesome she is as a daughter. Would you please describe what it is that makes her an awesome sister? (Maybe your siblings would like to weigh in on this with you.) I'm sure you're all missing Paige very much, now that she has gone to California for the summer. Thanks (in advance) for answering! ~Angia

(Translation: The reason Paige is an awesome sister is because she is very energetic and kind. She loves to play with her younger siblings. Brittany is a pretty awesome sister too but we haven't lived with her for almost about 5 years. Paige is very exuberant and loves to throw parties not only with friends but with us. Most older sisters would be like "go play somewhere else" or they would just always be talking to their boyfriend. Not Paige. No Way!)

Thursday is Prenatal Day at Heartline

As is the business of tailors to make clothes, and cobblers to make shoes, so it is the business of Christians to pray. 


-Martin Luther 


New ladies added to pray for here.

Paraphrase

 

Hello Daddy!

We want to know you.

And be close to you.

Please show us how.

Make everything in the world right again.

And in our hearts, too.

Do what is best - just like you do in heaven,

And please do it down here, too.

Please give us everything we need today.

Forgive us just as we forgive other people

when they hurt us.

Rescue us! We need you.

We don't want to keep running away 

and hiding from you.

Keep us safe from our enemies.

You're strong, God.

You can do whatever you want.

You are in charge.

Now and forever and for always!

We think you're great!

Amen!

Yes we do!

(The Lord's Prayer from Matthew 6 

as paraphrased on page 226 of the JesusStorybookBible)

strength

The woman pictured above is one of the toughest, hardest working, most intelligent ladies you'll ever meet.  


She is a lot like many women in Haiti. 


She is strength. She is beauty. 


She works hard, loves well, does her best to keep her chin up and keep feeding and educating her kids. Her day to day life looks very different from ours. We cannot easily imagine what it is like to walk in her shoes.


She and her husband have seen a lot of life.  They have walked through horrors and injustice and come out the other side still smiling and relying on their faith in Christ to carry them through the next thing.  We're blessed to know them and observe the gracious and courageous way they face adversity.  


These are people we can all learn from.  If you're ever in Haiti, look around and observe, you'll see strength in every direction you look. The Haitian people have much to teach us. 

happy birthday troy

Troy and Paige 1998

Troy and Isaac 2002

Troy, Phoebe, Lydia 2008

Troy & Noah June 2012

When I married this wonderful baby-faced guy, three years my junior, I just figured that within ten to fifteen years people would start asking me if I was his mom or his much older sister.  I steeled myself for that day, knowing it would likely come.  I expected questions like, "How's the old lady?" to become commonplace for Troy.  ;-)


The first year or two after we were married were pretty calm; Troy gained zero wrinkles in his baby face. By year five the two kids we started out with became five kids. Troy still gained zero wrinkles in his baby face. A few years later we moved to a new country and two more kids came along. For a couple of years some really challenging stuff went down; including but not limited to a massive earthquake. All of a sudden we looked at the baby-face and saw that it showed signs of aging maturing. Troy earned a few creases; worked very hard for a few of those lines. 


I know that my mushy posts make people roll their eyes out of their ever-livin heads and I don't want that for any of you so I'll just keep it brief and limited to semi-sappy.


Happy 37th Birthday honey ...
No matter what is happening in our lives, whether we are skipping through high points or dragging our feet through terribly heavy and difficult days, the assurance of your deep desire to follow Christ and the evidence of your love, care, and concern for all of us makes every day seem full of joy and promise. I am so very thankful to be experiencing all of the wrinkle-making events by your side. I cannot believe how incredibly blessed I am to get to be your wife. Happy birthday to you my love and very best friend.
tara

In the words of Josh Garrels,  "It's a million miles from, where we began, and I, I still love you."

sunrise, sunset

Last year after prom I wrote the (overdone) sappy, teary, mother-that-hates-seeing-her-kids-grow-up post.

I'm not writing it again - but I am definitely always feeling it.

Last week Paige was feeling a little bit sad about the goodbye part of her upcoming summer adventure when she pointed out that most of what happens from here on out will be "lasts". She meant, last time leaving for a summer trip, last first day of school in Haiti, last time being here for all her siblings' birthdays, last of each of the holidays here ... It was really quite a depressing revelation on her part. I was totally ungrateful to her for the reminder.

Paige's boyfriend graduated from high school yesterday and is a year ahead of her on the "lasts" track. I sat at the QCS graduation ceremony looking around at a few of the moms in the room and observing their tears of joy and sadness mixed into a vortex of emotional confusion and I was with them in that. It feels good and bad and happy and sad and wonderful and terrible all at once.

The idea is to raise the kids, right? Prepare them to stand on their own two feet, send them off into the big, bad world mostly self-sufficient  ... It's the goal, the hope, the desire, the point, is it not?
Trouble is, it's a confusing paradox when what you're doing each day to prepare to launch them makes you feel as much excited anticipation as nausea; equally proud and depressed.

Time marches on no matter how frequently I stop to lament it...
Here's to the coming year of 'lasts'... May we soak up the beautiful gift of each moment with these precious and quickly growing kids and may we remember it is only by God's good grace that we're so honored to hold them in our hands and hearts for this time.

QCS 2012 Graduation

Prom 2012

Cross-posting Ask Isaac today ....

Curt & Stephane T. said: Hi Isaac! I enjoy reading all of the nice things your family says about you. My question is - what do you think makes you so optimistic and what can I do to help my own kids be more optimistic?

Similar question ... 

Amie and Tim said: I have a question for Isaac. The world can be a hard place (you should know, living in Haiti). How do you stay happy? Looking forward to your answer. We're big fans!

These questions about how he is the way he is - are entertaining to watch him answer. He so wants to give you the "right" answer.  He is the one we count on for a bouncy, happy, upbeat, curious, extroverted, glass mostly full approach to life. After he read his answers to these two questions back to me he said, "Well. It's probably just the way God made me but I will still tell them this answer I already wrote."


The first week of June was a crazy busy one, the rest of June looks like it will be even busier. Here's to a weekend filled with hope and focusing on the good things!

marasa

Today we learned that Dani is carrying twins (marasa is the Kreyol word for twins).  She took the news pretty well all things considered. Dani and her husband have an 8 year old and a 4 year old at home. Prayers for courage and strength for this family are needed. 

of turtles and boys

Every morning at some point before 10am you will find this scene:

It might be my favorite time of day. 

They typically start around 9am. Today they started reading much sooner. They want to be done early in the day because big things are happening late morning. A pet that has already been named "Crush" is making its way through intense Port au Prince traffic and down the treacherous hills of Delmas 33 to its new home in Tabarre.  

Another expat offered up a three year old turtle a week or two back. I indicated that we were interested.  The mistake was made when we allowed that information to leak to the two boys too soon.  In the days since the boys learned of this possibility I have actually said things like "Please.  PLEASE.  Stop talking about the turtle."  "We can talk about it once it is here." "Can we take a break from this?"  You'd be amazed at the volume and length of conversations and speculation that can come from thinking about one measly 8" Haitian turtle. 

Noah obsessed about the countdown.  When Troy changed his plans for today and was no longer going to be up near where the turtle needed to be picked up I put on my advocate hat to beat the drum for the cause of the turtle and the cause of the obsessed boy. I knew Noah would not accept waiting longer, today was the day he was promised. The four thousand friendly reminders did not go unnoticed.

Troy was tired and possibly a little grouchy when I presented him with the facts. I could tell he was considering changing the great turtle exchange to another day.  I silently prayed against such folly. 

As it turns out, another friend that is coming down the hill to bring a new pregnant lady to Heartline is picking up her babysitter before coming down.  Her babysitter is staying at the house where the turtle has been living.  The friends will transport the pregnant lady to Heartline, and the turtle to boys.

The air is thick with anticipation. The excitement is palpable. Noah is certain his summer is about to get so.awesome.

Our last small pet, "Hermie" the Hermit Crab traveled to America with us post earthquake and met an untimely death in Waco, TX.

Exerpt from 2010:
"What happened?" - I asked. Troy gave me a look to tell me that I better not make a joke and said, "Hermie was found. Dead. In the toy box." 

The beloved Livesay children's pet- a Haitian Hermit Crab found on Wahoo Beach in November of 2009 and smuggled out of Haiti post earthquake by Paige - died in Waco, TX of not-so-natural-causes. It turns out that if your hermit crab is left in the bottom of your toy box without water it will eventually fall out of its shell and perish. 

Let that be a lesson unto you.

I tried to convince Isaac Hermie had a good run. What other hermit crab crosses the Caribbean by air and eventually becomes a Texan? Isaac was too sad to enjoy any of my dumb jokes. Troy organized a burial service and Hermie was laid to rest. It was all very lovely and crab-honoring ... until later that day when Lydia was bored and decided to try to unearth Hermie. 

Here is hoping Crush fares far better than Hermie. 

more of Paige's photos ...

an update: harbor house

As for ourselves, yes, we must be meek, 

bear injustice, malice, rash judgment. 

We must turn the other cheek, give up our cloak, 

go a second mile. 

~Dorothy Day~

We've alluded to changes being made at the Harbor House.  We're both happy and sad to be making the changes.  We are sitting in an uncomfortable place lately - it is a place where we know changes need to be made and new things need to be tried - but change is painful and messy and we're humans, always reticent to deal with pain and mess. 

While attempting to support and help teen moms, we have successfully done that in a few areas. We've seen 15 to 19 year old brand new mothers choose to nurse and bond to their new babies. We've seen them choose to parent their babies themselves rather than passing baby off to an aunt or grandmother or orphanage. We've seen some personal growth and in some instances life skills are successfully being developed. We've been able to model conflict resolution, forgiveness, and grace along with the harder lessons of cause and effect and consequences. 


We have also probably played a part in hurting them in that we have provided things that are not going to be sustainable once they leave the Harbor House and reintegrate. Things like three or more meals a day, electricity almost around the clock thanks to batteries and inverter, toiletries, clothing, fans, a television, refrigerator, etc. etc.  We've made some judgement errors when it comes to how we set up their infrastructure of the house and now as we begin to figure out how to transition them out we are realizing we have made this part harder. We've failed in this aspect.  

Troy and all of us have been praying and thinking a lot about the Harbor House.  It is likely that we'll graduate the current seven girls in mid July and help them get settled with family members where possible. You may recall that we originally planned for the program to be two years long. Each of the seven young women have extended family they can return to; our hope and desire is to find a way to stay in close contact and relationship during this next phase. 


15 months ago we said this:  "The success of Harbor House will be hard to quantify.  It is not as flashy and easy to sell as a lot of programs in Haiti. The things we are attempting to impart are hard to measure."


Still true.


Based on what we've learned in the last 17 months, we'll change the length of the program and readjust our goals.  For the new young women entering after August, the program will likely become about a 9 month program instead.  In some instances young women may stay longer and in some instances they may be ready to leave sooner than that. 


Young women will enter the house while pregnant and determined to be high risk. The Prenatal program of 40 women is consistently serving about 25% first-time teen moms. While serving the young women in the Prenatal program we're given a unique opportunity to peer into their lives and identify situations that are grave.  The Prenatal program will continue to "feed" into the Harbor House program. The new mother will stay and be supported during the most critical first six months. 


The changes will be made in an effort to improve the reintegration process and make their reality while living at Harbor House a lot less cushy. (Unconditional love and support still continually offered, just not in the form of electricity and fans.)


If the end goal is emancipation (and it is) we've got to do everything we can to make that possible/probable.

We want to be honest about how lofty goals don't always equal lofty outcomes. The two year program we imagined is no longer seeming like the best idea. When we identify that something isn't working, we're open to changing our course.  

There is a difficult line to walk when dealing with reintegrating people into the normal life available to them  after having provided a better life for an extended time period.  The part where you transition someone back into "real life" is not so cut and dried. While we begin to integrate new ideas and concepts and plans at the Harbor House - while we plan to transition seven young women out and change the length of the program - we would VERY MUCH appreciate it if you'd pray for the choices to be wise ones, and for the coming changes to be as minimally painful as possible for everyone involved. 


The names of the young women (and their babies) that will graduate:


Sergeline and son Jobens 
Joanne and son Ricardo 
Fedline and daughter Michlanda 
Leoni and son Judler 
Faphane and daughter Rebecca 
Alloune and daughter Ashline
Mirlene and daughter Bianca


Thank you for your continued support.

kid convos

Overheard recently ...

Hope and Noah filling out a form that asks for an address:
"It ALWAYS asks what state! We don't live in a stinking state people! We live in an island!!!" "How obvious is it?" -Noah

Well ... not that obvious really.

Lydia and Phoebe on their bikes outside our front gate:
"Phoebe, is that a chicken or a dingo over there?"  (Lydie)
"It is a dingo Lydia. I think it's a cute one." (Phoebe)
"I don't think it's cute, I think it's disturbing." (Lydie)

"Mama, I am feeling sick. Can I lie down?" (Lydia)
"I'm sorry you're feeling sick. Did you forget to wash your hands?" (Phoebe)
(Interpreting literally the constantly repeated statement "Wash your hands or you'll get sick.")

(Lydie) "Aaawww, there is the trash guy." "Bon swa" (to Marcel, the trash-man)  - "He don't speaks English, right mom? No? Right Mom? I think him speaks French." (I ask Lydia if she speaks French?) "Well, I speak French but I don't really want to speak it with you."

Swimming with kids:
"Momma, when I grow up I am gonna be just like you!"
(yeah? how so?)
"I will have those pink marks like you!"
(stretch marks) (thanks for that)

We've been doing everything possible to break up our days.  Isaac has not left our neighborhood in a couple weeks ... we realized that today when discussing if he would go with Dr. Jen to see our friend Joanna at the airport.  Even so, the guy seems pretty darn happy and starts each day with writing his Ask Isaac answers and reading his Harry Potter book.  (Please don't send me Harry Potter hate mail. The real world he lives in is far more vexing than that fantasy/fiction.)

By 4:45pm the sun is starting to drop low enough in the sky that we can all tolerate the brutal consequences of massive quantities of cement combined with tall-air-movement-killing-walls, mixed with the strength of the June sun. The kids get on their bikes and go. Free from four walls! Troy and I stand at the gate and watch our kids and it almost feels/looks like a normal childhood for a nanosecond.

As it turns out though, normal childhood moments don't equal normal children.

In our minds that means there is no reason to strive for normal.

(Photo courtesy of big sister Paige)

linking you

We link to the Rileys on the link list on the side of the blog.  They moved from Wales to Uganda. We've been internet friends over the years and plan to someday be real life friends too. We're all hopeful that 2013 is the year we'll hug (or high five) or share a meal or all of the above.


This post of theirs is a beautiful story of reunification. (Story told in video below.) Their message and work is not always super popular, but we believe it is integrity-filled work that deserves celebration and support.   


Stay strong Mark and Keren! 

All men commend patience, 

although few are willing to practice it.

Thomas Kempis

free workout plan

You can pay hundreds of dollars for a gym membership, you can buy all the workout DVDs on the market, you can hire a personal trainer ...

Or

You can use this extremely well-rounded plan written by Hope Livesay for free.
Secret to her success?   Most certainly the sid ups and the holding of red heavy things up and down.

You.are.welcome.  :)

Paige's photos of the day

Paige and Troy are the two talented photographers at our house. Whenever a photo is beautiful you can assume one of them took it.  The more average photos are mine. Paige is doing a "photo a day" project for 30 days. We'll share them here every so often.

We're all kinda moping as we think about Paige leaving in just over a week.  She is staying another week in order to take the SAT, attend her boyfriend's high-school graduation, and go to prom. We're so stinking excited for the adventures she'll have this summer but we're selfishly going to miss the fun she brings into our lives.  Isaac just wrote a little bit about what he'll miss most about her and it included the "parties" she throws.  As a much older big sister (7 years between Paige and Isaac/Hope) she does a lot to love on her younger siblings. Our June and July without her will be dance-party-less I'm afraid.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~

These three ladies are the California gals that will get to party with Paige soon.  "The Sarahs" are hosting Paige at their house.  Kim is teaching Paige the ropes of therapeutic riding and allowing her this amazing summer learning adventure.  This whole thing is a huge gift to Paige and a direct result of friendships built in Haiti. We're uber thankful and aware that God's love is abundantly evident to us through these relationships.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  

Rosena had a very tall 8pound 8 ounce baby boy at 3pm Friday.  Most Haitian women have very short second stages and babies come flying out after a few pushes.  Rosena had to work a lot harder and pushed for a little more than an hour to get that giant boy delivered.  After the birth Rosena lost a lot of blood and her son had a fever.  They're being monitored at the postpartum "wing" now; we're praying for quick healing and no further complications for either of them.  To check out the ladies due in June and July and choose one or two to pray for, please see this post.

funeral

Haitian funeral:

• Lots of singing
• Often times wailing
• Hot, hot, hot with sweat rolling from the nape of your neck to your knee-pits
• Marching band (Tuba, trombone, trumpets and all) to lead cars/walkers to the graveyard
• All sorts of dress-code variance ... suits and evening gowns, hats, and fancy shoes, clothes that are much too large, clothes that are much too small
• Plastic flowers
• El Camino 
• Friends