Tuesday, September 18, 2012

palindrome boy

Today was a crazy busy day at the Maternity Center. This meant no time to do the annual birthday post. We're slackers at everything, including tradition it seems. It is still September 18 in the Caribbean - and therefore this still counts! We are sharing the words we wrote about Isaac last year along with his photo from earlier tonight.  A Tuesday birthday does not allow for a trip to the beach.  Isaac and Lydia decided to split the difference between their birthdays and go to the beach on a Saturday late in this month to celebrate their two birthdays that are only 16 days apart.  


Blessed are the peacemakers (Isaac) -- for they will be called sons of God.


 HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOYFUL BOY! 
XOXO

This is a very special day. 

The appointed Livesay family diplomat turns the big one - oh today.  
(EDIT: ELEVEN TODAY!!!!)

Ever so skilled with people, Isaac Livesay has been designated to conduct all officialnegotiations and maintain political, economic, and social  relations on behalf of his parents, siblings, and pets, whom by their very nature are far less tactful at managing delicate situations.  (Peanut especially can be quite crass. Not to mention Lydia, I mean really. No one can negotiate with that.)

As the years have quickly passed, we've been blessed again and again by this boy. We've come to realize that he is beyond unique. His smile brightens rooms. His joy lifts spirits. His sunny disposition trickles down on all those around him. His crazy levels of curiosity kill the cat...or at least ensures that he knows absolutely everything about them. He loves to learn. He asks dozens of questions every day, hoping to glean a greater understanding of things. He cares about how others feel. I mean he really genuinely cares. He is a gentle, kind, and peace-loving boy.  

In so many ways Isaac amazes us.  We'll sometimes say, "He's not like us. He's SO good." Much of who Isaac is is nurture; we know that.  But more is nature.  God made Isaac a boy that loves harmony and desires to encourage others. We'd be hard pressed to remember more than a handful of times when Isaac was mean to anyone. He really is one of the very kindest people we know.

It's pretty amazing that we get to get to have this boy in our family.  We're so lucky. 
So.Very.Lucky.

Monday, September 17, 2012

pursuing one hope


We don't often write about current events or what is in the mainstream news. We're narrow and limited and what you see is what you get.  

Generally, we only write about two things:  1. Our tribe  &  2. Living, working, and everyday learning & growing in Haiti.

Once in a long while I'll get worked up about something. That usually happens because some news story has touched a deep nerve in my heart due to a personal connection. With only a few exceptions, we don't venture outside of the lines here. 

We're the experts of nothing and the masters of zilch. Half the time I have to google things people are talking about to figure out what the heck is going on in the outside world of grown-up big people. 

You'll never find a recipe or a political discussion posted here.  I would rather pop my eyeballs out and set them in a pot of boiling hot bean sauce (and not share the recipe) than talk about politics on the internet.  

(Ironic twist: I am talking about the politics that I refuse to talk about - right.now...After this, though - finished!)

Besides the fact that I generally distrust governments and systems and all people with power, and therefore don't choose to engage it much, this excerpt sort of sums up my reasons for attempting to stay far away from the political controversy and especially the conversations that happen online:

From Communication Across Borders:


"Dialogue is best done in relationship, over breaking bread, over coffee." 
"We both have strong convictions that could lead to ugly...  Human reactions, emotions and interactions are complex. I also know there are some things that I won't discuss online, not because I lack conviction but because the potential for misinterpretation is too high..." 
That's it!  That.is.it.
If forced to talk politics I'd want to talk at a table, looking eye to eye. (I mean after we dug my eyes out of the bean sauce, of course.)

I think we're all fairly poor listeners. Misinterpretation or not, we aren't really open to hearing in the first place. We're a lot better at stating what we think than we are at hearing.In part, that must be why we love the internet so much. Because we struggle to hear one another and be respectful listeners in a face to face conversation, I see no point in attempting to communicate this more contentious stuff outside of close relationships, and not on the stinkin' internet.

I have good friends that cross all political lines and can be categorized in dozens of ways.My opinions (or my apathy) are not as important to me as my relationships with my friends.I value greatly my friendships with people that are disillusioned and not even sure what they believe anymore because they are too deeply entrenched in unanswered questions. I value my friendship with my Libertarian friend in Virginia and I value my friendship with my Obama-loving friends in Minnesota.I value my friendships with my conservative friends and family. I have listened to how they arrived at their decision and I don't begrudge any of them for believing in "their guy".I just don't believe much of it with them.  

I doubt I can articulate clearly what I'm trying to communicate today. Trust me, I don't want to be controversial, combative, confusing or any any host of other words that start with the letter C.

I just know that there is something that is true for me personally.I don't presuppose anyone needs to feel the way I feel about it. I assume that I arrived at this point as a result of being removed from the vortex of the system. Simply put, I believe that I need not become embroiled in the debate, nor need I engage the rhetoric of the political high-season.  I've been told this is un-American, and I disagree.

Here's the thing, in my mind it's all an earthy battle ultimately bound to fail. I'd rather battle for Kindgom things that I don't believe will fail.  I'm in a place where instead of engaging in that battle, I'd rather focus on the real and tangible war right in front of me.  I don't need to battle over politics because I have a massive fight on my hands as it is. 

The battle to walk closely with Him day-by-day. 
The battle to be salt, to be light. 
The battle against my own sin and depravity. 
The battle to love my neighbor well. 
The battle to act justly; to love mercy. 

The Kingdom isn't so much about how I vote (or promote my vote on-line) - the Kingdom is more about the way I love and live and act toward the lost and hurting around me. 

I urge you: Walk as Jesus walked. 
Live a life that is worthy of the calling 
He has graciously extended to you. 
Be humble. Be gentle. Be patient. 
Tolerate one another in an atmosphere thick with love. 
Make every effort to preserve the unity 
the Spirit has already created, 
with peace binding you together.  
There is one body and one Spirit, 
just as you were all called to pursue one hope. 

from Ephesians 4

~  ~  ~  ~  ~

Photo: Jesus for President, Shane Claiborne

Saturday, September 15, 2012

gratitude


Henri Nouwen wrote: "fundraising is first of all, a form of ministry. It is a way of announcing your vision, and inviting other people into your vision with the resources that are available to them."

Seven years ago next month with turning and nervous stomachs, we sent out our very first fundraising letter.

Have we been able to approach fundraising with the attitude of Henri?  Uh.
<Ahem>  no. not always so much. 

Thankfully even though at times we've been too prideful or too afraid, good folks have joined the vision and for seven years have been a major part of this crazy-town-adventure to love, serve, and learn in Haiti. We have no idea what compels friends, family, acquaintances, and strangers to help us live and work here -- it must be Christ in you - but we do know that you're loving, generous, kind, and magnificent people - and we're grateful beyond description to have you walking this road with us.

It matters and we're touched.

In a month where
  • Ed'H (an ambiguous and somewhat intimidating utility provider) bills us an insanely huge amount
  • the rent goes up again and we need to pay most of the year all at once 
  • the old vehicles act like old vehicles - and require repairs weekly
  • the children need curriculum and school basics
  • the trucks (the ones in the shop) need required by law "insurance" stickers (insurance is a loosely defined word)
  • the tropical storm knocks out power meaning much more diesel burned 
... Well, in that kind of a month - we admit we are stressed - but more than that, we are so grateful that you see fit to help us be here and you generously give and you pray. Thank you for that.

We know sacrifices are made in order for you to send a check to Heartline marked "Livesay Family".  We don't underestimate or discount the tangible ways you literally make this possible for us.

We have seriously appreciated your ability to hear from us and accept us during high points and low points on the journey. We've found this to be a safe place to share a lot of joy and a lot of sorrow without too much measuring or weighing our words. We're humbled and grateful for that.

Thank you for being with us on this joy and sorrow-filled, beautiful and chaotic journey of learning and love. Please continue walking with us - because we.need.you.




Thought provoking excerpt (that resonates) from THIS full article... by DL Mayfield


I am the mission, here. 
I am the one who is in need, who is eager to learn about Jesus from the lives of people who are different from me. I need to experience the miracles that come when you live and work with the poor and the powerless, when you get to see Jesus in all his power, when you are stripped of your own safety nets. I want to see the kingdom of God made manifest, to see it where Jesus promised it would be: in the margins of society, on the fringes of religion. I want real life, I want to drink it full, and I don’t want the watered-down happy and dull life that has been promised to me, both by the church and my culture at large. I want to understand the worst parts of the world so that I might marvel even more at the good. 

You can go here to read her entire post.

Friday, September 14, 2012

chaos & beauty

Troy took this photo on a road trip yesterday. After many years here Troy finally got to see a lot of the country on two separate road trips in the last week. This tiny country is full of surprises and unrecognized beauty. (This is Lac Peligre - reservoir and hydroelectric dam between Mirebalais and Hinche, Haiti.)

Between Troy being gone, that stupid flu bug at our house, lots of action at the Maternity Center, and news of sorrow and loss from more than one friend across the globe ... well, the last couple of days have been 110% chaotic and tiring.

Time is short and emotions are running high. We're all processing a lot and praying hard for a handful of complicated and sad situations.


The way chaos and suffering and beauty and life intersect - is sometimes overwhelming.

One thing before we take on Friday...
After the earthquake (because of the earthquake) Troy and I met a generous and bigger than life kind of guy named Paul Beltis.  He and his wife loved on us in 2010 and have been a huge blessing to our family and to Heartline Ministries in the past few years.  Our kids all enjoyed a week with "Mr Beltis" at our house in January of this year.  He actually seemed like a real-life SantaClaus. We currently have a massive and obnoxious supply of Starbucks Christmas Blend coffee on hand (in Haiti in September) because Paul once heard I liked Christmas Blend. That's only a tiny peek into his unique way of encouraging all of us. On Wednesday this exceptionally giving man passed away unexpectedly at his home in California. As a family and as a part of the larger Heartline family, we all grieve his passing and thank God for the opportunity to have known him in this life. His six grown daughters and wife are in our thoughts and prayers.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

toilet bowl theology: lessons from the throne

One child woke up covered in regurgitated rice. 

Reflecting on what was eaten three hours earlier at the dinner table, the quantity of rice seemed to have multiplied by five in her stomach. 

Her hair was washed, her pajamas changed. 

Every thirty minutes for hours on end she heaved and writhed in pain while we rubbed her back and stifled our gag reflexes of steel like valiant champions, supremely trained for the barf-battle. 

Two hours into bedding changes and hand sanitizing another child dramatically entered our room and flung himself at us in unrelenting turmoil.  

"I prayed seven times asking to not throw up! WHY didn't God listen to me?" he bitterly asked. 

The room grew eerily silent as the parents engaged in an epic game of  "(s)he who speaks last wins". 

"That's not really the way it works son..." his father responded, thereby losing the competition ... 

...And thus began the midnight theology lesson that ended in many more hours of truly remarkable rice multiplication. 

the day after 

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  

Talking to our children about things like this can be complicated. It becomes more complicated by the fact that we're always parsing out our own theology. As parents we're coming at it from two different upbringings, two different backgrounds, and more than a few misconceptions. Additionally, life in Haiti has us constantly wresting and interacting with evil and injustice in ways that force a harder look at our beloved assumptions and rote answers. 

It can be a bit vexing to face the balderdash of some of our tightly held religious rhetoric in front of our answer-seeking children.

Simply put, "Ask and you shall receive" isn't an uber helpful stand-alone tagline. 

David began Psalm 13 this way: “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?” (Ps 13:1-2, NIV). The desperation and pain can be heard in chapter 88, “I cry to you for help, O Lord ...Why, O Lord do you reject me and hide your face from me?” (Ps 88:13-14). 

These words don't bring me much comfort but they do remind me that we're not the first to struggle with this. Noah isn't the only guy to ever ask, "Why didn't you hear my cry?" while violently vomiting his guts out. 

If there is one thing we're hoping to succeed at as parents, it is teaching our children that a total understanding of all things God, faith, and theology isn't the key to a full life with Jesus. (Technically speaking we'd like to succeed at more than one thing but aiming low has been quite fruitful to this point.) We want our children to know that their sufficient certainty and "rightness" is not what saves them.

In fact, the answers and the rightness of said answers too often become the God. 

I recently listened to a sermon. The pastor said:    (paraphrased) 

We have this picture of God sitting in Heaven telling us we have to believe right or die - a God giving us a theology quiz asking us all to pass the test or go to hell ...  if you get the crucial questions wrong you flunk.  He went on to say:  I don't see that picture of God  - it is not consistent with what we learn about God in Jesus Christ.  We should want to believe the "right" beliefs and they are important but in the Biblical model of faith beliefs are not an end in and of themselves. Beliefs are important because they point to and support a relationship with God. The end is what you do with your beliefs. Faith starts where belief ends. The end is the relationship. Biblical faith starts by striving to be faithful regardless of your uncertainty.  

We want these kids to get all of their life from Jesus - to define themselves from an outpouring of that most important relationship - to have space to question without fear - and not to feel like they must have all the right answers in order to have Jesus. 

Questions are welcome. 
Wrestling with them isn't unholy.

We're teaching them these things by not claiming to have perfect and complete ownership of all understanding ourselves. This frees them to safely doubt and question things. In fact, we want them to know that a relationship with the living, loving Jesus does not require them to agree with us or pass any theology test. 

~  ~  ~  ~  ~

While he was questioning God's concern for him and miserably clinging to the porcelain throne, we tried to gently point our son to the throne. In the end we comforted our barfing son this way-
"We hate that you're suffering, it is terrible for you right now. Even though it is hard, let's just try to remember that you've been very sick before and that you got better and came through it."

Hear this our precious son: He loves you - He loves you - He loves you ... He is with you He is with you He is with you.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Special deliveries in Port-au-Prince


More than five years ago Beth McHoul, co-director of Heartline Ministries, had a strong sense that she should start a new program. Beth desired to respond to the incredible need for quality, respectful, maternal healthcare in Haiti. Additionally, she hoped to encourage young mothers to raise their children and avoid poverty-driven decision(s) to place their little ones in an institution. 

Asking God for guidance, setting aside much fear, she  slowly forged ahead and began with a very small program that met each week to offer education and vitamins. Along the way multiple friends from multiple countries encouraged the growth of the program with their ideas, guidance, prayers, and donations.

What began as a very small and quite undeveloped program is now an organized, high quality, beautifully functioning prenatal and labor & delivery program. The number of women concurrently being served has changed from twenty to about ninety*.

*Forty-two pregnant, forty-five in early childhood development. This number does not take the Depo Provera Family Planning program into account. That program is serving more than 500 women. 


The dream and desire of twinning and even tripling the size of the prenatal program is alive in the hearts of the Heartline team.  Heartline owns a piece of land and with your help has already raised $145,000 toward building a new Maternity Center on that land.  

We are excited to be growing responsibly and looking forward to the day the money is raised and the new maternity center can be built.  We believe that these programs are deeply impacting the women in our community and saving lives.  

There is an enormous effort underway to spread the word beyond the current faithful base of Heartline supporters. We are excited to share more about that effort with you soon.  For now, we want to tell you about the weekend ... 


This weekend the five-year-old vision for better and more respectful maternal health care services equaled three precious new lives being ushered into the world safely.  
All three births were prayed over, sweated over, watched over, and very important to the staff at Heartline Ministries. 



1:
Lumana and her husband had been patiently waiting for the birth of their second child.  By her choice Lumana had lived in the Heartline postpartum room for about a week in late August because her home is far away and she feared she couldn't make it in time.  She waited for many nights and then decided to risk it and finish out her wait at home. 

Saturday morning around 7:30 am Lumana arrived almost completely ready to push her son into the world. 

The first baby to join us outside of the safety of his Mama this weekend was little Roodens.  Lumana delivered him shortly after 9am with the additional love and support of her husband who sat on the edge of the bed touching her head while praying for her as she pushed.  This precious little family spent about 36 hours in the postpartum area before Heartline provided transport home late in the day Sunday.  Lumana and baby Roodens will come to class each Tuesday for the next six months for further education, support, and follow-up care. We're so thankful for God's protection over this delivery.

2:


Nadege is the sister of a former client of Heartline.  Easily the shortest woman we've ever had in our program, we wondered how such a tiny person would fare during labor and delivery. Nadege arrived at 9:30 am on Saturday morning.  She labored beautifully and with much courage all throughout the day Saturday.  At around 4pm it became apparent that her little one's head was cocked at an odd angle in her pelvis and was not descending well.  With some guidance and prayers, attempts were made to adjust the baby's head. After a time it was decided that Nadege could not deliver with us and was in need of a C-Section.  At 7pm Nadege was loaded into the Heartline Ambulance and off we went in search of a hospital to receive her.  

The first hospital kindly reported that one of their two operating rooms was down and that because of that they could not receive her for surgery.  This is not an uncommon answer when searching for medical care in Haiti.  We went to a second hospital that serves those with high-risk deliveries and they were able to confirm that they agreed a C/S was the only option for Nadege.  They accepted her into their care.  Because of the high volume of need and the lack of beds, Nadege and her son were discharged 38 hours after her C/S and are now on their way to Heartline for post-partum care. Nadege and her new son will come each Tuesday for the next six months for further love, education, and follow-up care. We're grateful Nadege and her son got the care they needed.



3:
Shedlyne is a 23 year old first time mother.  She was married earlier this year and is blessed to be part of a large family that offers much support.  Throughout her entire time in labor she had a cheering section waiting on the front porch and taking turns helping her. At times her father, her sister, her sister-in-law and her husband were all there at once.  Other family members dropped in on occasion. 

Shedlyne was the first to arrive this weekend, and the last to deliver.  She arrived shortly after midnight on what was technically Saturday morning.  She labored slowly and somewhat unproductively all day Saturday.  She went home for a few hours around 7pm Saturday evening, then returned afraid and in pain again about five hours later.  Shedlyne had a long and difficult labor.  Not unlike many small first time moms it took her quite a while to find her groove and cope with the pain. After two+ hours of pushing and some fairly intense moments Shedlyne delivered her 5 pound 10 ounce baby girl at 2am Monday, 49 hours after she first arrived at the Maternity Center.  


Baby Regina needed a little extra encouragement and attention but got the hang of breathing after a few minutes.


Shedlyne and baby Regina will also come to class each Tuesday for the next six months.

Dr. Jen helping Regina start breathing better
the look of midwives that are thrilled for a happy ending to a 49 hour labor

Shedlyne & baby Regina





Please be praying for these precious new lives and for healing for their mothers.  We're so thankful to have the ability to call on the Great Physician during these unpredictable labors and deliveries. He has been faithful.

Please also stay tuned for more exciting information about the new maternity center and how you can help make it happen.

Thanks for reading.

Saturday, September 08, 2012

saturday to saturday - babies babies babies

Lumana had a baby boy today at 9am - Proud Papa

Marie delivered last Saturday at 7pm and went home Thursday 9/6
Nadege is very close to delivery now
Shedlyne is in early labor now
The Heartline team and the ladies in the program(s) are all very grateful for your prayers and love.
We appreciate you. Please keep praying! 

Thursday, September 06, 2012

Our turn to pray ...

EDIT: SEPTEMER 15 - MAMA Emmanuel was released from the hospital and is recovering further at her home in Petit Goave. THANK YOU for your prayers for her.

In 2010 after the earthquake we met little Emmanuel and his mother, affectionately called "Mama Emmanuel"   Emmanuel had been crushed in the earthquake and siblings of his had perished in the house where they all resided.

After tremendous loss Mama E impacted so many with her courage and joy ... Too many people to count. The proof of that and more of her story is found at this post from last year.  She prayed and encouraged and led many in worship at the Heartline field hospital.

Mama E ended up delivering Raphael (pictured on her lap) at Heartline last fall. (Nov. 2011) The birth was intense as those who love her collectively held their breath hoping for a beautiful, healing outcome for this family.

Last night word came from their home in Petit Goave that Mama E. was gravely ill and had lost a lot of blood.  Today the cause of her illness was determined and the afternoon brought dozens of phone calls as many attempted to find out if blood might be available for a desperately needed transfusion.

As of this moment some blood has made it to the location where she is hospitalized and we're praying and praying that her life will be spared.  She is in critical condition and will likely need additional transfusions. Please be praying for her and for miraculous provision as the system for receiving blood* is very difficult in Haiti.

Thank you.

*When you visit Haiti, (click to link to information) PLEASE GIVE BLOOD. 

Precious In His Sight



Imagine that you are a nineteen year old girl living in Port au Prince, Haiti. Imagine the struggles and difficulties that would entail, even in the best of circumstances; and these are not the best of circumstances.

Delmas area, Port au Prince. Heat. Pressure. Noise. Pregnant.

You were kicked out of your mother’s house – a two bedroom bare cinder block structure shared with a handful of extraneous family members smashed in between thousands of other similar dwellings. Your mother learned of your pregnancy and became angry. Physically angry. She cannot find enough work to support herself and your siblings, and has at times resorted to selling her body in order to eat. There is currently a man in the picture that she relies on for support - and your mother is certainly not going to risk losing that relationship on account of your unplanned pregnancy. You are now not just one more mouth to feed, but two.

You are on the street. The street is made up of gravel, dirt, sand, and garbage. Pregnant and vulnerable, you try to make a life with the father of your child who has little education and no work. It does not go well.

You leave the city to visit your boyfriend’s family in a smaller town in the south. You give birth to a baby girl surrounded by family that is not your own. You are thankful that you and the baby survived. You are not sure what will happen next. You never are. It is March.

You move back to Port to start the next chapter of life in a structure your boyfriend built while you were delivering your baby. It is made of scraps of lumber with tarps wrapped around it – tied in some places, nailed in others, crimped with bottle caps at the corners. It is built in a now-empty lot where a house used to be prior to the ‘goudougoudou’. There are many other homes like yours sharing this lot, many neighbors with stories mirroring yours.

Seven Months Later

You are sick. You stop breastfeeding your baby because you are afraid she will get sick as well. She gets skinny. You are afraid. Your boyfriend leaves you.

You are alone.

Your sister visits you and is concerned by your weight loss. She brings you to a clinic where it is discovered that you are HIV positive. Your sister is devastated. You are still in shock from the events of the past year. You go back to your tent and continue to try and survive with your daughter, who is also losing weight. Things have been so hard for so long that it hardly matters that your situation just got so much worse.

The clinic that tested you wants to test your baby girl and has concerns that you might also have tuberculosis. You decline the TB test. You do not want to know.

The good news that your baby girl does not have HIV does not change your situation at all – but it is good news all the same. A sliver of light piercing the black cloud over your days.

You reluctantly agree to go and take a test for tuberculosis at the government hospital. It is necessary before you proceed with treatment for HIV. There are clinics with medicines available that can slow down the AIDS virus and improve your life, or so you are told, but you are not sure you believe it. The last time you came to this hospital for help you eventually gave up discouraged and dejected after failing to gain admittance. You had an appointment. It didn’t matter.

Only the strong and assertive get what they want and need. You are neither.

Someone you have never met and who barely speaks your language comes to pick you up and take you back to the hospital to try again. You get in the car, because your sister is there and asking you to try again for your daughter’s sake. Your daughter is with you and instantly falls asleep. Neither of you have been this comfortable in a long time.

You leave your baby sleeping in the car with your sister while you go for your tuberculosis test.

The TB ward is housed in a temporary structure staffed by a volunteer doctor from somewhere else. When it is your turn, you spit into a small cup, screw the lid on, and drop it into a plastic bin sitting on the ground. There are many other cups in the bin already, with names written on tape stuck to the sides.

You are instructed to return the next two mornings and repeat this process. You don’t know how you will get there again. Next, you need to get chest X-rays. Some of the staff at the government hospital are on strike, and the radiology lab is closed. You will need to pay for a private lab. The X-ray alone will cost thirty-nine dollars. If you were fortunate enough to have a job in a factory, you would make five dollars a day. You do not have a job. Arrangements are made to cover the costs for you.

You check on your baby before going to the private lab. She is awake and soaked in sweat. Your sister needs to leave to run some errands. You walk the three blocks to the lab, passing vendors covering every inch of sidewalk along the way. During the walk you are harassed to make purchases, ridiculed for your appearance, questioned about your connection to the foreigner walking with you, and short of breath from the exertion of walking in the heat and carrying your child.

In the lab you sign in and wait. And wait. And wait.

You wait for over three hours. You are very discouraged and want to give up many times. You endure the stares and hushed voices in the waiting room...the forced advice on child rearing and proper attire.

When it is finally your turn you have to leave your baby in the hands of a stranger while she screams.

While walking back to the hospital you are criticized by other pedestrians for the way you are holding your child. One passerby encourages you to give your baby away since you are so young and poor and sickly. You are too out of breath and tired to respond.

You have not eaten anything all day. You ask to borrow money that you know you cannot repay in order to buy a styrofoam container full of oily rice, bean sauce, and vegetable stew. The food is sold out of pots on the side of the road being cooked over charcoal. You are heckled and cat-called while you cross the street. You share the meal with your daughter.

You are relieved when you return home to your tent, and given instructions about your future appointments. You stare blankly wondering how you will make it back to the hospital for the follow up testing and results, not sure if you want to know what they will say.

It has been a long and difficult six months for you. The initial test results were negative for TB. You are admitted into a program to receive HIV meds, requiring monthly visits. These visits became increasingly difficult as your body weakens and each trip is painful and taxing. You do not always make it to the appointments, sometimes you are just not willing to face the challenge of fighting for space on public transportation and being ridiculed by fellow passengers. Your condition has deteriorated greatly. Further testing is done with another program in another hospital and it is determined that you do indeed have tuberculosis.

Six + Months Later

Fortunately, and it is very hard and disturbing to say that this is fortunate, you are sick enough to be admitted into the inpatient TB ward, which is a large dome tent in a gravel yard. This is the best option available. You are thankful. Prior to the cot you currently sleep on, you were laying on a foam pad on the floor of a dark cement block room.

Your tiny frame is too weak to stand and walk. Coughing racks your body. The few family members and visitors you received when you were first admitted have dwindled and rarely come now.

The staff of the hospital say that you can stay as long as you meed to heal–this is an unbelievable blessing and rarity in the health care ‘system’ in Haiti.

Your appetite is coming back slowly. Twice now thieves have taken money from your bag while you slept; the money left there for you to buy juice and other food.

Yet you have joy. You smile and say, “With Jesus I will be well.” Others wonder if that means here on earth or when you arrive Home and see Jesus face to face – which seems like it could be any day.

Your nightly routine is to read some hymns that you are too weak to sing, then read ‘your Pslams’ to keep in your head while you fall asleep.

Life is fragile.



Things take a dramatic turn for the worse. Your heart can be seen beating through your chest as if it sat below a layer of tissue paper with no muscle or fat protecting it at all.

You fade.

This beautiful soul left her tired and weak earthly body on February 20, 2012. In the final weeks of her life many visitors came and sang with her and spent time at her side. Multiple people were touched by her life and the joyful spirit with which she battled disease. While AIDS ultimately stole her health from her, it did not steal her faith or her spunk. She did not die alone or unloved and she now is Home where her suffering is no more. 

“Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.”
Pslam 116:15


~   ~   ~   ~   ~ 


*Thanks to Emily Berger, who took our three posts written about "K" and edited and complied them into this story for her monthly magazine, Earthen Vessels.

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels,
that the excellence of the power may be of God
and not of us. 2 Corinthians 4:7


Tuesday, September 04, 2012

do it afraid



Ten years ago this very week I got to watch my oldest son Isaac take his first steps.  

Considering we lived in two different countries at that point, it was great timing on his part. 

I was visiting our oldest Haitian kids during the adoption process. Isaac, Hope and I spent hours and hours in a hotel room. I was introducing him to Cheez-It crackers and other fine American cuisine when he stood up and showed me that without a ton of effort, he could stand and balance fairly well. 

He stood up against the wall of the room. After he stood he would look to me for applause as he wobbled and grinned - but no matter what I did to try to entice him to take a step, he stood in place. He was eleven months old and just as he is now, he was quite cautious.  

By the second day he stood with his back against the wall toying with the idea of stepping away from the wall that balanced him. He would take one step with one hand on the wall; he would laugh nervously at me while I motioned him to keep coming.  He'd put his arms up for balance and stand a couple of inches away from the wall. For hours a day we played that game. Over and over I'd tell him to try it.  Over and over he'd laugh and step back to rest his diapered butt on the wall. After a few days of coaxing and giggling and fear, he took his hand off the wall and took five unbalanced and uncoordinated steps into my arms.  

When he got to me he made the most peculiar laughing and crying combination sound.  He was so afraid to let go of the solid wall behind him, that when he found out he survived the risk he was both more afraid and more confident - at the exact same time.  

He trusted my arms but He didn't trust the process of getting to me very much. It took Isaac many hours to attempt the five steps from the wall into my arms a second time.  

He'd overcome his fear once, but subsequent attempts weren't less frightening.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  

Our youngest son Noah wrote about earthquakes a few days ago.

Well, I suppose technically he wrote about "eaethqakes" - which to me, sounds a lot like a delicious treat ... but I don't think he was talking about a cream-cheese filled breakfast cake sold in an Entemann's box.  

"We are very prepared", he tried to write, only it came out "prupard". 

As I ran a few miles around my neighborhood thinking about his confidence in our preparedness, I wondered, are we prupard?  What makes him think we are? For the love, NO we are not prupard! We are like Isaac stepping away from the wall the second time - we are simultaneously more confident and much more afraid.

                                         ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~

Most of us find ways to manage what we're fearful about, you do it and I do it. 

Sometimes our heads trick us into thinking that our previous tries and our previous success doesn't mean anything.  

Sometimes we forget that our Heavenly Papa stands nearby ready to help.

We conquer our fear, and then our fear conquers us. 

I am not afraid of another earthquake, until I am for a minute.

I am not afraid Troy will die someday in a scary hold-up, until I am.

I am not afraid of failing at my duties as a Mom and Wife  - until I am.

I am not afraid that my kids will someday have an accident here that cannot be treated, until I am.

I am not afraid of failure in my studies to become a midwife - until I am.

I am not afraid of facing incredible poverty that tears my heart out, frustrates me, and leaves me confused and screaming, "Where are you God?!?!"  - until I am.

So what do I do with all this fear? 

Truthfully, it lies quiet, dormant, and well managed most of the time ... except when it doesn't. 

I can talk sense to it. I can say things to it like "Fear is not of God." and "You've got this. You're doing fine. God is with you. You've done it before. You've got this!"

The fear can be pushed back, sometimes prayed away, other times ignored.... But on occasion the human, broken mess that is Tara Livesay cannot keep it all at bay. 

Not unlike Isaac, I trust the strength of my Father's arms but sometimes I don't trust the process of getting to Him. 

What then?

My friend Beth shared her favorite quote with me early in our friendship.  "Do it afraid", she said. 

Like Isaac on his second attempt to leave the solid safety of the wall, knowing too much and knowing too little, do it afraid.  

I've heard it said, "practice makes perfect".  I'm too much of a realist to believe that to be true in this instance. Practicing doing scary things doesn't really make me perfect at it. I'm still afraid sometimes. I don't know how to stop being afraid completely and consistently. I'm not finding 'perfection' as I continually practice facing both my rational and irrational fears. 

I only know that sometimes - I have to do it afraid. 

We all do.




Link: 2010 post about fear.

Monday, September 03, 2012

beginnings & beginnings of endings

In fifteen minutes the first first day ends. Lydia and I are eagerly waiting for the five kids to fight their way through 3 miles of Port au Prince traffic so we can hear how it felt (besides hot!) to be at school.



The young lady on the left walked out of the house at 8am this morning and went to her first day of school as a bona fide Kindergartner.  Her first first day as it were.  She gave her first presentation, which was really just a little interview conducted by her teacher, Ms. Becky.  It meant standing in front of the classroom and talking - like out loud - utilizing her voice.  Phoebe is not much of a talk-out-loud-with-your-voice-in-front-of-more-than-just-family, kind-of-girl  -- so it was a pretty big moment.

The young woman on the right went to her very last first day of school in Haiti, her very last first day of high school, her very last first day with her siblings underfoot. The next "first day of school" for Paige will happen in another country and will look and feel a whole heckuva lot different. 

(And honestly, let's hope for different. It took 53 minutes to travel 3 miles this morning. I have high hopes the infrastructure where she's headed is a bit more advanced.)

I remember the winter almost five years ago when we had just welcomed Lydia and were about to send Britt off to Baylor University.  The beginning and the end intermingled like a cruel joke meant to drive a tired postpartum momma over the edge.  The seventeen year span from the alpha child to the omega child has forced some mixed up (read: crazy-town!) emotions and some simultaneous beginnings and endings. 

Today we recognize yet another one of those absurd juxtapositional moments.