Friday, August 12, 2011

Imagine, If You Will...

Take a moment and imagine that you are a nineteen year old girl living in Port au Prince, Haiti. 
For most of us, we can not even imagine the struggles and difficulties that would entail, even in the best of circumstances. I encourage you to try anyway...but be warned - these are not the best of circumstances.

______________________________________________________

Delmas area, Port au Prince. Heat. Pressure. Noise. Pregnant.

You were kicked out of your mother's house - a two bedroom bare cinder block structure shared with a handful of extraneous family members smashed in between thousands of other similar dwellings. Your mother learned of your pregnancy and became angry. Physically angry. She can not find enough work to support herself and your siblings, and has at times resorted to selling her body in order to eat. There is currently a man in the picture that she relies on for support - and your mother is certainly not going to risk losing that relationship on account of your unplanned pregnancy. You are now not just one more mouth to feed, but two.

You are on the street. The street is made up of gravel, dirt, sand, and garbage. Pregnant and vulnerable, you try to make a life with the father of your child who has little education and no work. It does not go well.

Months pass, and now the street is also made up of rubble. Rubble from buildings that fell into that street during the earthquake on January 12, 2010. The earthquake changed everything, only not everything...so many things are still the same. Things are still unbelievably hard. 

You leave the city to visit your boyfriend's family in a smaller town in the south. You give birth to a baby girl there in a home surrounded by family that is not your own. You are thankful that you survived, and that the baby survived. You are not sure what will happen next. You never are. It is March.

You move back to Port to start the next chapter of life in a structure your boyfriend built while you were delivering your baby. It is made of scraps of lumber with tarps wrapped around it - tied in some places, nailed in others, crimped with bottle caps at the corners. It is built in a now empty lot where a house used to be prior to the 'goudougoudou'. There are many other homes like yours sharing this lot, many neighbors with stories mirroring yours.

October comes. You are sick. You stop breast feeding your baby because you are afraid she will get sick as well. She gets skinny. You are afraid. 

Your boyfriend leaves you.

You are alone.

_____________________________________________________

You have a sister that visits you and is concerned by your weight loss. She brings you to a clinic where it is discovered that you are HIV positive. Your sister is devastated. You are still in shock from the events of the past year. You go back to your tent and continue to try and survive with your daughter, who is also losing weight. To others, you may seem depressed...to you, what is the difference? Things have been so hard for so long that it hardly matters that your situation just got so much worse. A chronic illness may seem a welcome relief and end to the suffering at times. 

The clinic that tested you wants to test your baby girl and has concerns that you might also have tuberculosis. You decline. You do not want to know.

Your sister convinces you to come - at least for the baby's sake. She tells the people at the clinic trying to help - 'li rayi tet li' (she hates her own head). That is her only explanation for why you won't come and get the help you need. The good news that your baby girl does not have HIV does not change your situation at all - but it is good news all the same. A sliver of light piercing the black cloud over your days.
______________________________________________________

You reluctantly agree to go and take a test for tuberculosis at the government hospital. It is necessary before you proceed with treatment for HIV. There are clinics with medicines available that can slow down the AIDS virus and improve your life, or so you are told, but you are not sure you believe it. The last time you came to this hospital for help you eventually gave up discouraged and dejected after failing to gain admittance. You had an appointment. It didn't matter. 

Only the strong and assertive get what they want and need. You are neither.

_______________________________________________________

Someone you have never met and who barely speaks your language comes to pick you up and take you back to the hospital and try again. You get in the car, because your sister is there and asking you to try again for your daughter's sake. Your daughter is with you and instantly falls asleep. Neither of you have been this comfortable in a long time.


You arrive at the hospital, not waiting in line this time because you are in a car with a foreigner with connections inside. You buy a cookie and fruit drink from a vendor outside the gate for your baby who will surely wake up hungry. Your sister gave you the money.


You leave your baby sleeping in the car with your sister while you go for your tuberculosis test.


The TB ward is housed in a temporary structure staffed by a volunteer doctor from somewhere else. She is overwhelmed but takes the time to talk to you and give directions. She orders the tuberculosis tests, fills out paperwork for chest X-rays, and shows you to the waiting area for patients. The tests are handled in a temporary office and lab set up under a tent.


You sit and wait outside for your turn. The paperwork takes some time - there is some confusion about the spelling of your name. The nurses are impatient and not necessarily gracious. They are sweating profusely and trying to keep a fan circulating air without blowing their papers out into the street. When it is your turn, you spit into a small cup, screw the lid on, and drop it into a plastic bin sitting on the ground. There are many other cups in the bin already, with names written on tape stuck to the sides. 




You are instructed to return the next two mornings and repeat this process. You don't know how you will get there again. Next, you need to get chest X-rays. Some of the staff at the government hospital are on strike, and the radiology lab is closed. You will need to pay for a private lab. The X-ray alone will cost thirty-nine dollars. If you were fortunate enough to have a job in a factory, you would make five dollars a day. You do not have a job. Arrangements are made to cover the costs for you.


You check on your baby before going to the private lab. She is awake and soaked in sweat. Your sister needs to leave to run some errands. You walk the three blocks to the lab, passing vendors covering every inch of sidewalk along the way. During the walk you are harassed to make purchases, ridiculed for your appearance, questioned about your connection to the foreigner walking with you, and short of breath from the exertion of walking in the heat and carrying your child.

In the lab you sign in and wait.




And wait.


And wait.


Over three hours later your name is called. You are very discouraged and wanted to give up many times. Your escort shared the sentiment but did not know how to get a refund - so waited alongside you while wondering why so many others came, finished their business, and went in the meantime. You both question the preferential treatment of others but know you can not say anything about it. You endure the stares and hushed voices in the waiting room...the forced advice on child rearing and proper attire.

When it is finally your turn you have to leave your baby in the hands of a stranger while she screams.
Then you walk back to the hospital.



While walking back to the hospital you are criticized by other pedestrians for the way you are holding your child. One passerby encourages you to give your baby away since you are so young and poor and sickly.You are too out of breath and tired to respond.


By the time you return to the car, your sister has given up on you and taken public transportation home. You have not eaten anything all day. You ask to borrow money that you know you can not repay in order to buy a styrofoam container full of oily rice, bean sauce, and vegetable stew. The food is sold out of pots on the side of the road being cooked over charcoal. You are heckled and cat-called while you cross the street. You share the meal with your daughter.


The five mile drive back to your home takes over an hour.


You are relieved when you return home to your tent, and given instructions about your future appointments. You stare blankly wondering how you will make it back to the hospital for the follow up testing and results, not sure if you want to know what they will say. 

_______________________________________________________

To be continued...




Thursday, August 11, 2011

thursday in photos

Paige and Moses chillin



Preggo luncheon before class

measuring Lourdes Milla

drilling for water
Nurse Wini and her friend Adeline

(brain is too overheated to string together coherent thoughts.  good night!)

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

this post brought to you by twitter

Troy doesn't usually tweet a bazillion times a day but he did today.  Too much sugar in his coffee or something.  Because it is so unusual and because his day was far more interesting than mine, I'll take the lazy man's path and paste the tweets in here.

11 hours ago

~Made Starbucks coffee that a friend brought us, while feeding the kids Pop Tarts that another friend brought. Happy kids.



10 hours ago

~Rec'd email from a dear friend about his wife's chronic pain & illness we've been praying for-may have an answer and healing after 12 long yrs

~Prayer meeting this morning included singing 'I Have Decided' in three languages - English, Kreyol, and Amharic

9 hours ago



~Paid a visit to Mirlande - a pregnant mother in our program who lives in a tin shack. Her faith and positive attitude rock my world.


~Day just took a turn for the worse-now have 'Break My Stride' by Matthew Wilder stuck in my head

~Replaced painful earworm with . Much better.

~Am I having a popsicle for lunch? Yes. Yes I am. 

~This community has been desperate for water and praying hard for it.They are thrilled about the well and giving thanks for answered prayers.
5 hours ago 

~And now - dinner with the Harbor House family. Lourdes Milla just ate a pound of French butter. Wow.

~Thankful for the great day,now time to pray for the ones who weren't so fortunate in , , , all over this broken world.


~~~~~~~~~~


The only other news worth reporting -  the police literally told our staff that they should have left "Moses" in the street, that by picking him up they did the wrong thing. They actually said that!  The staff members that went to report what happened (with "Moses" with them) were reprimanded. Oh.my.head.  Nothing like getting a lecture for doing what is CLEARLY the right thing. How can leaving a living disabled human alone in the dirt be the right thing? Tomorrow they are instructed to return with the paper report that was created today to the Mayor's office.  The paper cost $500 Haitian Dollars.  (2500 gourdes)  - or the equivalent of $62USD.

All that math to say, for just $62 you too can go file a report and receive a stern lecture from the local police.  What tha?

tèt chaje nèt - completely loaded head

I cannot focus on any one story or any one happening when there are too many stories and too many haps ... It is in times like these that I resort to bullet point posts.

As always, the things that don't qualify as blog material, that are better left as matters of prayer and private conversation, are heavy as well.

  • The school building for all the little turkey missionary kids is the main focus of this week. The electrician that was hired by the company the building was purchased from was "interesting".  That word has always been code for "horrible". All the wiring had to be redone and fixed.  
  • There has been some trouble and unrest in the downtown area. 
  • The time has finally come for our names to be at the top of the well-drillers list! They are coming to start drilling out at the Camp Corail area where the five houses were built for five earthquake families that lost homes to relocate. This is huge news. 
  • A little boy, probably two or three years old was left outside of the Maternity Center in the road. His mother had asked one of the gate guys if there was an orphanage around. The gate guy told her we were not an orphanage.  Later that morning he was found lying in the dirt on the side of the street. He cannot sit or stand or hold his head up for very long. We're not giving you a certain diagnosis, but he appears to fall under the umbrella of "cerebral palsy". He is not undernourished and it appears he has been very well cared for to this point. Because he was abandoned without explanation his name is unknown. We're calling him Moses. Oddly, when Paige asked what I thought we should call him I said "Moses",  later when Paige got over the Maternity Center she learned that Cherline, a valued Haitian staff member, had decided his name should be ......  Moses. We need to figure out what is next for sweet Moses. A report is being filed with the police today and John will be in contact with Haitian Social Services as we look for long term care for him. In the meantime the gate guy that talked to the mom will be searching our area and hoping someone knows something about her whereabouts. Until then Paige asked if she could care for Moses. Paige is quite tender and gifted at loving in these situations. They had a good night last night, he is doing well.
  • Thursday three pregnant teenagers will meet with Troy and Magarette (Harbor House) to be interviewed about their lives and living situations. Prayers over that (and all of the above) are both appreciated and needed.

Monday, August 08, 2011

the little girls and their talks with god

We've never quite figured out why Lydia and Phoebe make their prayers more about telling God what they did today and what they are going to do tomorrow and less about thanking Him for anything or requesting His help.

That's how they roll most nights though. They are also very competitive so if one says something the other must also say it.  It gets fairly ridiculous at times.

Hey God, today we woke up and ate rice and beans and stayed home with Mom.  Tomorrow we're thinking we'll do more of the same. In case you were wondering. Like you do? Amen.

For the grandparents of these two goons that miss these little voices...

Tonight's business meeting with God prayers:

Mules Needed


A family in Massachusetts has faithfully been gathering beautiful fabric for the Heartline Sewing School and for Haitian Creations (the products the sewing ladies create).

We are wondering if anyone might be willing to carry fabric into Haiti in your luggage.  If you think this is something you or your group could do, we would have the folks in Massachusetts at Homebound Missions ship as many pounds as you think you could handle. (They have gathered a lot!) We would then arrange for one of our staff to meet you at the airport upon your arrival and attempt not to take any more of your time.

Email me at TL7inhaiti at yahoo dot com if you think your group might have open luggage and be willing to schlep bags of fabric for us anytime in the next month or two. This is something that will greatly help our sewing program and will translate into money in the pockets of many hard working women trying to provide for their families.


Whatever Happened to Faithfulness


"Faithfulness is such a rare commodity today that it has disappeared from our lexicon. So let me insert the dictionary definition: “Reliable; trusted; steady in allegiance or affection; loyal; constant.” In this day of quick divorce, loan defaults, addictive personalities, broken contracts, deadbeat dads and religious scandals, we’re surprised when somebody actually follows through and keeps their promises."



The quote above was pulled from an article that was sent to us by email.  

We have friends in India and friends in another war torn country in Central Asia. We look up to both of these couples as they inspire us with their lives and faith. We've witnessed their struggles and their willingness to fight through and we're moved to be stronger and do better ourselves.

We daily work along side John and Beth who have managed to keep on keeping on for more than 20 years of ups and downs in Port au Prince.  There are countless other examples we could list.

Yes, we live in a day and age where many (maybe most?) don't find it necessary to see a commitment through to the end. But - If you look around I think you'll still find faithfulness on display. It may not be the norm, but the examples are out there.  I don't believe that only people that pull up stakes and move abroad are faithful.  

When I read the article, I wasn't so much disagreeing but I thought of all the examples we have around us of people doing the basic and complicated work of staying the course and simply "being faithful". 

Examples of faithfulness are everywhere.

When I hear of someone fighting for their marriage and staying when staying hurts so much worse than leaving  - I am moved by their faithfulness.  

When I see a parent continuing to love and pray fervently for an addicted child that has hurt them deeply, I see faithfulness. 

When I read about adoptive or foster parents digging their heels in to continue to love and fight for their wounded and angry children I am inspired by their faithfulness. 

When I learn of a single mother daily battling to serve and care for her unhealthy child, I am invited to watch faithfulness in action.  

When I watch friends purposefully living in relationships with gang members and criminals in North Carolina - I observe great faithfulness.

The most faithful among us are not usually the ones receiving the most accolades and attention.  

Maybe we could all make it a point to find one such faithful person and encourage and pray for them today.   

Friday, August 05, 2011

We are not alone

LourdesMilla & Mirlene
We are not alone.

That song title needs a little time to settle into my soul.

I love listening to this song when I run.

Occasionally if I am in a weird spot of processing too much heavy stuff  I find that I need to stop running, put my hands on my knees, and try not to dry heave or hyperventilate due to the difficult combination of crying hard  - while trying to run - and   simultaneously attempting to deliver enough oxygen to my lungs.


There is most certainly some sort of cycle of truly feeling the things of Haiti and then closing out the things of Haiti. It ebbs and flows and comes and goes.


It is freeing to be able to laugh, feel peace, and purposefully shut it out at times.

It is a gift to be completely wrecked and burdened by it at other times.

We desperately need the ability to do both. Hopefully finding the balance between the two means being sensitive to people's pain the majority of the time but staying just a teensy tiny bit insulated from it as a measure of self-preservation.

This week we'd love it if you be praying with us about the current and future residents of the Harbor House.

The house has seven girls right now. There are five that have babies and two that are still pregnant. We have one space we can fill immediately. We can possibly make room for two more within a couple of months. Our program won't likely ever be larger than ten young women and their kids.  Eight is the ideal number with the space and challenges/logistics of a house full of young women.
Leoni & Joanne w/Judeler & Ricardo

Currently we have three heavy and difficult situations awaiting discernment and decision. Three young pregnant women living in unimaginable situations. Three real people with real needs and real hurts. Three unborn babies attempting to grow and flourish in their mothers wombs. Six lives at risk.  'Danie', 'Jovin', and 'Emmanuela' all in unstable and even perilous situations.

I was chatting with Beth yesterday and we lamented the fact that once the other bed is full it will mean that we don't have any immediate answers for young women that say things along the lines of the things we heard in the last few weeks:

"I live alone. I am 16.:
"I have a tent. I sleep there."
"I was raped. I just turned 15. I'm pregnant."
"The baby's Dad doesn't want me."
"My aunt beats me. She is angry that I am pregnant."
"I don't eat every day."
"They said I cannot live with them after my baby comes."
"When it rains we don't sleep."
"He threw me out."


While these situations continually present themselves, we must in turn continually remind ourselves that we are not alone. 

And neither are they.

Lyrics "We Are Not Alone" :

Got brothers by my side | Sisters at my right | And hands that hold my own and won’t let go | Got a love that won’t subside | Leaving all my fears behind | And grace at every turn, and so I know || I am not alone | I am not alone | I will ever find that You’re my home | I am not alone || There’s a narrow road to walk | That’s wide enough for all | So lay aside the heavy doubts you bring | The strongest and the weak | Oldest and the meek | All meet at the cross, and we will sing || We are not alone | We are not alone | We will ever find that You’re our home | Oh, we are not alone | We are not alone | We will ever find that You’re our home | We are not alone || ‘Cause You said You’d never leave us | When You came and when You freed us | You never left us for a moment, God | And You never will disown us | When we know that You are for us | You never leave us for a moment, God || The greatest and the least | Broken and redeemed | All meet at the cross, and we will sing | We will sing | We will sing | We will sing | We will sing || You came, and You freed us | And You will never leave us | Now we are singing, oh

All Harbor House photos compliments of Jonna Howard.

Thursday, August 04, 2011

thankful

Emily was downgraded to a tropical depression and other than gusty winds there is no evidence of her in PAP tonight.  It rained in the south, not certain of how much. It never rained here (in Port) today. So grateful that 600,000 people in tents will go to bed dry tonight.

Mesi Jezi.

uneducated meteorology report from the field

Emily stalled out overnight and is sitting south of us. There was some rain yesterday afternoon but it stopped quickly.  Right now in Port au Prince there are gusty winds and cloud-cover but no rain here yet. If you believe what the cyber weather people say, it appears that it will start moving again and be here later today. It will go mainly over the southern peninsula, dropping rain on most of the island.  (See www.stormpulse.com)

We saw information being distributed yesterday. Folks were told to leave their tents for safer ground. As you probably know, there aren't really very many options for places to go. It must be a bit maddening for them to be told to do something that isn't possible.

We have heard that many are praying, thank you for that!

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Yesterday we spent the entire day shopping for the things we still need for our school building and for the apartment for the Burtons (the teachers).  They are moving down in less than two weeks and we want to have their newlywed pad mostly set up for them.

It is rare for us (troy and tara) to spend an entire day together during the week  - it is especially rare to go shopping together.  We laughed all day long at all the ridiculous Haiti things.
  • Troy stood over a cracked table asking if there was another in stock and was told that the one he was looking at was not cracked.  He pointed it out. He was told that is how it was "supposed to be". We decided to call it some sort of cultural difference. 
  • We found a table we liked but the chairs hadn't arrived yet. When we asked when the chairs would be available the salesperson just shrugged. (We appreciated the honesty though.)
  • We liked a loveseat at one place. Troy asked how much? The sales person said, "It is supposed to have a price."  (awkward lull)  Okay.  But it doesn't.  She left.  She came back and said "That one is not for sale."  We're guessing the price was too hard to look-up.
  • Troy had an entertaining exchange over drywall screws. He'll have to tell it, I couldn't describe it as silly as it was.
  • At our last stop we bought a bunch of dishes and household basics for the teacher apartment. We noticed Apple Jacks cereal sitting on the clearance rack in a small grocery section. The only sign visible made it appear that they were $1 a box. The original price was $6.80/box.  Later when we checked out and tried to confirm that price and buy them out of all 15 boxes, 4 sales-people were all uncertain if that was the price for the Apple Jacks or for something else in the clearance section and no one could be sure. We left without the cereal.
  • Troy proudly showed me the oven/stove that he and John purchased for the teachers. I offended him by asking him where the teachers are going to get weensy little pans and pots to fit into the itsy-bitsy little oven. It is slightly larger than an Easy Bake Oven.  I measured with my phone. The oven is approximately three iphones wide.  (To Jimmy and Becky - Troy and John bought you a child size range/oven. Bring your mini-sized pans please. We are looking forward to eating tiny little things that you will bake us in your tiny little oven.)

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Emily


A storm is slowly heading this direction.  For those of us in sturdy cement structures it will be an inconvenience.

For those living under tarps and sheets it will be devastating.  Their ability to "prepare" for the coming rain and wind is basically nil.  All the forewarning in the world still doesn't provide them the options they would need to truly protect their families and possessions from the storm. 


Please be in prayer for thousands of people in this situation.  


Monday, August 01, 2011

Mad Libs Weekend Edition


Two_ ___ in ______.
     noun    noun   
  (choose your own or take a guess at ours)

The weekend was beyond good. In a period of forty eight hours a lot of life happened. Some of it was quite bizarre.

To sum it up (in alphabetical order) it was like this:
  1. birthday, 
  2. births, 
  3. celebrations, 
  4. church, 
  5. food/friends, 
  6. gross cocktail 
  7. luncheon, 
  8. mastiff, 
  9. paint, 
  10. rat, 
  11. school, 
  12. sleep-deprivation, 
  13. swimming, 
  14. worship, 
  15. Wyclef

We bought ______ for the _______ . There were two ________ and three _______   __________.  There was a _________ that went __________ because a ______ forced the issue.   After a _________ there was a ____________ sighting.  We went to __________ to  _________ and attended a ________ with good _________.  The ______________ eventually made for free flowing tears.


First person to get all 15 right wins a copy of : Rocks In The Sun



If you're interested in previewing or purchasing the book click here.
Profits from this book help feed Mastiff puppies.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Edit / Add / Answer Key - 
Erin wins! She got it first.  Erin email me your address at TL7inHaiti@yahoo.com and we'll send the book ~ Our Mad Libs are too easy?   

Not in the order that things took place ... but in the order of the MadLib above:

Late Friday afternoon we bought paint for the school. They were open at 4:30 as they said they would be. They carried paint like a paint store should. They had what was needed to tint the paint four different colors. They had working computers to ring it up.  They answered our questions about satin vs. flat.  We walked in, made choices, ordered paint, walked out. Exactly as planned.  It totally freaked us out that it just happened on try number one.  Just like that. It was an all together out of the ordinary buying event for Haiti.

Over the course of the weekend there were two births and three birthday celebrations.  The first celebration was after we bought paint so easily and quickly we went on a Friday night Petionville date sans kids. The second celebration was with our kids on Saturday at dinner time. (photos in previous post) The third was hosted by sleep-deprived Beth and was a combination good-bye party for David as he is leaving Haiti and birthday party for me on Sunday. 

There was a rat that went swimming because a Mastiff forced the issue. I had just walked in early Sunday morning after staying at the Maternity center all night. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a gray blur dropping from the air into the swimming pool.  Three screaming little girls came around the corner all talking and telling their stories at once.  Peanut had chased a rat all around the back yard, into the front, and the only choice the rat was given was to die in Peanuts jaws or to become airborne and fly through the narrow rails surrounding the pool and into the water.  After a short swim the rat sat still on the far ledge trying to make an escape plan. Peanut stood watch. Eventually Hope harassed the rat enough with a high powered squirt gun that it made a run for its life and exited the safety of the chlorinated pool and ran out the front gate and down the street waving his tiny little paws in victory. Hope vehemently declared, "I will never swim in that pool again."

After a gross cocktail there was a Wyclef sighting.  When we went on our date after the successful paint buying experience we decided to go to one place to get a drink and go to dinner at another place afterward. It was early and we were feeling pompy. The drinks we ordered were horrifically strong causing us both to shudder in disgust. But we drank them anyway. We're conditioned not to complain about product or service. After we left and were almost to the next stop we realized I left my purse hanging on my chair. (Directly related to the strength of the drink?  Possibly.) The panic of the consequence of losing all that was in my purse pushed us quickly back up the mountain to the hotel. Thankfully the purse and all its contents were sitting untouched. Bolstered by so much good fortune, we again headed to dinner at the second location. Part way through dinner I went to use the ladies room and spotted Wyclef Jean getting ready to leave the restaurant. I marveled at his poor fashion sense and hurried to get back to the table to tell Troy before I missed my chance. Troy gave Wyclef a friendly up-nod and we proceeded to text Paige to taunt her with what she missed.

Sunday we went to church to worship and attended a luncheon with good food/friends. 

There were two Heartline Prenatal Program ladies that gave birth. The first started in the night between Friday and Saturday. (Beth and Jonna worked most of the night and into the morning Saturday with a non-so-super-compliant teen Mom named Idonie). The second birth started late afternoon Saturday and went into Sunday morning. I did labor watch for Nathalie who was incredibly stoic and strong. I woke Beth and Jonna up 40 minutes before delivery time. Her birth was lovely and uneventful.  Idonie had a healthy girl, Nathalie had a healthy boy. :)

I decided I didn't want to sleep and miss church and lunch, I caked makeup on to hide the dark under-eye circles and headed up the hill to Port au Prince Fellowship. Eventually the sleep-deprivation made for free flowing tears. Troy and Paige mocked mercilessly.  I took half an Ambien and went to bed. 

That concludes this Mad-Lib edition and the condensed version of the 48 hour weekend that was. 

Saturday, July 30, 2011

dishonest depiction

Top Half of Card

Bottom Half of Card

Today is Tara's birthday.  Last week Isaac came to say he was going to make a card for her. He left. He came back to ask me how old she was going to be.  I told him 39.  He left again.

When he returned he had a horrified look on his face. He held up his paper to show me the grave mistake he had made.  He was concerned he needed to start all over again.  I told him, "It's fine buddy."  He said, "But Dad, that is not really what she looks like." (He decided to just make a note of apology right there on the birthday card.)



Tara's birthday wish: 
No, not for implants in order to make this drawing accurate  ...  :)

Her wish is that you would read this post our friends wrote and consider giving a gift to their ministry as they daily fight Cholera in Haiti.

Friday, July 29, 2011

weirdwives


Having started out as a know-nothing, border-line stupid novice in the field of midwifery, I've now grown more confident in many areas of prenatal care and childbirth. I can "palpate" and determine position of a baby with growing certainty. On a recent Thursday by some massive stroke of luck I nailed the baby's position on 4 out of 5 of the women we saw in Beth's room.

When it comes to labor and delivery I can handle the blood and fluid and yes, even the poop. I am getting better at separating myself from the pain of the woman in labor and suffocating my natural tendency toward empathy. I don't need to look away at any point during a birth anymore. Because of all of that I have mentally come to a place where studying midwifery is something that seems like the next logical thing to do.

I am working around both the real and perceived obstacles that stand in the way of the official course-work beginning.  I'm thinking about how I could study with the kids, how I could do better at prioritizing my time, how I could kill face-book once and for all. I'm examining my tendency toward fooling around and wasting time and my general bitterness and rebellion toward rules and authority and anything resembling a "should". (As in, you should be studying.)


Additionally I'm wondering if I have the ability to learn medical terminology and memorize facts. I'm questioning my intelligence and discipline.  Questioning it a lot.  I know that given a choice after the kids are in bed, nine times out of ten I will choose the unproductive  (Modern Family) over the productive (returning emails, writing thank-yous, studying Kreyol) .

All that to say that basically I'm in a place of getting some of the logistics worked out in my mind.  I'm not ready to start until I am more certain that I won't fail.

Yeah, yeah, yeah - failure is the road that paved the way to success and yada yada yada with all the Zig Zigler quotes ...  the only failure is not trying,  failure is not final, blah blah blah blah blah. Yes, I know failing isn't the end of the world but I'd rather not start only to quit a few months down the line.  I need to be uber certain I'm up for the hard work first.

John McHoul started early on in Beth's move toward midwifery calling midwives - "weirdwives".  He is a jerk and we expect teasing from him. He simply cannot help himself. I hate admitting any agreement with the man, but I smell what he's stepping in on this one.


One of my biggest and most serious concerns about this pending leap into "official" training in midwifery is that I don't fit the midwife mold.  I'm not super earthy. I have nothing against pain medications. I don't think I could ever see home birth as the only or even the very best option ... (midwives everywhere are throwing cyber-rocks at my head right now) and I don't know that I'd ever want to circle up and sing love songs to my life-giving uterus with hundreds of other women at some convention. (I assume this happens tri-annually.)

The thing is, midwives are kind of weird.  Like a lot weird at times. I know there are midwives reading this.  Sorry. We are all weird people, it is just that you are weirder.

Midwives say things about vaginas the same way regular people discuss politics or talk about a new restaurant they tried or a movie they enjoyed.

It begs the question - can I just throw the word vulva or placenta or mucus plug into my every day vernacular? Can I? Can I do it without bright red cheeks blushing in embarrassment? That is a prerequisite you know.  If I cannot confidently and unapologetically say words beginning with 'V' and often times ending in ina or ulva - I am clearly not the real deal. I'd be seen as an impostor -  a poser - and not cut out for the real world or work of midwifery - and therein lies my problem.

"V ...   Va .... Vvvvvvaaa"
Nope. Can't do it yet. 

Thursday, July 28, 2011

quoting

"The situations that grow me the most are those in which I feel the most helpless, but in which love compels me to keep trying."  
- Greg Boyd
I was listening to a podcast a few weeks back and wrote that sentence down from a sermon Greg preached.  
It struck me that night - most of what we encounter here can and does make us feel pretty darn helpless. 
In this line of work we're supposed to convince everybody that we totally know what we're doing and that we always make our plan - execute the plan - see results and produce positive outcomes.  If only it were that easy. The endless ambiguities don't allow it to go down quite like that.
Thankfully it seems like most of you have no time for a bunch of show-business reporting and you'd prefer to read/hear how things really are. That works for me because I'd rather be brutally realistic and honest about how complex some of these things are than blow sunshine your way simply because I need to sweet talk you out of your dollars.
Without going into the whole convoluted and long story ...  The last few days Troy has been working through a drama with teen mom, Djenie. He literally has no idea what is true and what is fabricated and he cannot easily figure out if anyone has pure motives in a situation with little Kenny.  Djenie no longer lives at Harbor House but we're still in relationship with her and trying to discern how to encourage her to keep parenting Kenny. 
Her life is too difficult and different from ours for us to truly grasp. The oppressive chains of poverty and broken and corrupt systems and cultural norms threaten to pull her down every day. Troy stands listening to the latest with tears in his eyes in deep sorrow at one moment and with knots in his shoulders in total frustration in the next. 
Greg's quote couldn't be more true.  May we keep growing in the discomfort of our helplessness - compelled by love to keep trying! 
"The situations that grow me the most are those in which I feel the most helpless, but in which love compels me to keep trying."  
 

the fabulous, fabulous lives of the middle-class and unfamous

(by tara)

I'm back home with the spaz-crew. They greeted me with much fanfare and acted like I'd been gone for weeks. The celebration dance Noah did for me yesterday when I pulled into the driveway was an all-time top-five welcome home gift.

Nothing about July 23 through July 26 had anything to do with responsibility or reality.

Two sisters went on a little vacation together and had a schedule that looked like this:

Sleep in, drink giant coffee made by someone else, go for a run, head to the pool to lounge and sun, get dressed/ready, go browse a few shops, go out to eat, return to hotel, watch TV in bed till sleepy ....

 ... sleep in, drink giant coffee made by someone else, go for a run, head to the pool to lounge .... you get the idea.  The main first world problem we had was deciding where to go out to eat each evening. As challenging as it was we prevailed and made a choice every night.



Our lives were so.totally.all.about.leisure for four fabulous days.  A person could get quite lard-ish very quickly if allowed to be that unproductive for long. 


South Beach had some of the best people watching imaginable.  The human mind cannot conceive of the lengths people will go to in order to gain the attention of strangers on a beach. I'm left questioning everything I ever believed about fashion and mankind. 


Just like that four days flew by and I'm back to eating food that is neither Sushi  - nor is it arranged in the shape of a flower.  That's tough stuff. Really hard for us. I'm sure you can understand how difficult this major adjustment back to non-flower shaped foods could potentially be for both of us.

In all seriousness, the time together was so good for both of us. We had a lot to catch up on and talk about and we enjoyed the opportunity to do that face to face. We logged 24 miles in the hot steamy (late) mornings in Coral Gables. The trip was perfection, all the way down to to the small details ... The restaurant at our hotel was called 'Two Sisters'.  :)

We've never met in the middle  like that  - and now of course we think it must become a mandatory annual event or we'll surely perish.

Thank you Troy and Paige for making it so easy for me to go have fun with Tina. You two are the best!


Tuesday, July 26, 2011


Somewhere we know that without silence words lose their meaning, 
that without listening speaking no longer heals, 
that without distance closeness cannot cure.  
-Nouwen

Monday, July 25, 2011

I Run

While Tara is enjoying the opportunity to log quality time and miles with her sister, we're posting things from the archives. From early 2009 ...

7:00 am-
I am off and running.

The sun is beginning to climb high into the sky. The streets are crowded. Each person seems to go about their business with purpose. Everywhere I look I see throngs of people trying to make a few gourdes. They sell bananas and eggs and deep fried plantains. They negotiate price, they trade, they make their way.

A pregnant woman who looks to be expecting her child today balances a basket full of mangoes on her head as she hurries toward a friend motioning for her to come quickly. The air is thick with the diesel from the overburdened roads. A haze of smoke from burning trash hangs in front of me. Dust kicks into the air with each passing car. We all breathe it in, we all exhale it out. I run.

The foot finds very little even ground on which to land as garbage and rocks are scattered all around. On the corner goats hang upside down by their legs off of sputtering tap-taps as people push in trying to pay the driver for their ride. Just above our heads an enormous United Nations helicopter whirls, deafeningly loud, as soldiers gaze down upon the chaos of the city. The sound is overwhelming, it seems to be bouncing off of the cement houses and amplifying as it does.

Loaded automatic weapons are cocked and ready as white truck after white truck of Brazilian men in fatigues roll by. A small child walks alone with a five gallon bucket of water on her head, dust whirls around her feet as she walks, it appears she herself has not had a drink in days. Giant piles of reeking trash jut out into the roadway. Workers in yellow t-shirts scoop it up. Their work won't soon be complete. Two men argue and begin to push while frightened little ones peek from behind their mother's skirt.

Outside of the giant Embassy people shove and elbow jockeying for position to tell their stories to the guards, trying to get their chance to see an employee and ask for a visa to visit another land. Cars and trucks strategically speed up and slow down fighting to park in a place where they can see the most. A woman exits weeping, her request to go see her ill father has been denied.

Another half mile down the road, trucks jammed full with people and animals honk impatiently waiting for a chance to turn - an accident blocks the road. No police arrive; the angry and injured must fend for themselves today. A silver streak appears overhead as an American Airlines flight screams toward landing. People don't stop what they're doing to look up in the sky. They keep selling, pushing, moving, surviving.

In the distance, as far as the eye can see, more and more and more of the same. I run.

In my right ear, I have my mp3 player on as loud as it will go. Derek Webb reminds me This Too Shall Be Made Right. The combination of the music in my right ear and what I am taking in with my left ear and the dozens of situations I see around me cannot be easily reconciled or accepted. Does God see this too? A wave of something that feels like grief hits me. I am bombarded by a multitude of thoughts. I run.

I find myself feeling such admiration for the endurance of the people around me, for their ability to do so much with so little.

I wonder how they do it.

I find it unfair, even ugly.

I feel angry. I feel weak.

While I admire the strength I see, I somehow simultaneously feel pity. They probably don't want my pity. I wonder why it cannot be easier for them.

Tears stream down my face and I run and run and run. And I try to make sense of it all.


Derek Webb - This Too Shall Be Made Right -

people love you the most for the things you hate
and hate you for loving the things that you cannot keep straight
people judge you on a curve
and tell you you’re getting what you deserve
this too shall be made right
children cannot learn when children cannot eat
stack them like lumber when children cannot sleep
children dream of wishing wells
whose waters quench all the fires of Hell
this too shall be made right
the earth and the sky and the sea are all holding their breath
wars and abuses have nature groaning with death
we say we’re just trying to stay alive
but it looks so much more like a way to die
this too shall be made right
there’s a time for peace and there is a time for war
a time to forgive and a time to settle the score
a time for babies to lose their lives
a time for hunger and genocide
this too shall be made right
I don’t know the suffering of people outside my front door
I join the oppressors of those who i choose to ignore
I’m trading comfort for human life
and that’s not just murder it’s suicide
this too shall be made right
.............................

The song in my right ear changes. I pick up the pace as I am nearing my home and when I pray a strange peace washes over me -

I am listening to these lyrics:
Mercy, weep over me Let Your tears wash me clean - Majesty, be merciful with me ... mercy mercy mercy.


And I pray for mercy as I run.