Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Happy Birthday Baby Sister, Best Friend

1977
2005

One of the hardest things about the last seven years has been fading friendships, changed relationships, and knowing that moving to Haiti has caused some hurt for people we love. (I wrote about it here a year ago.) 

{I have one sibling. I am three and a half years older than her. We used to fight like wild cats and dogs when we were teenagers. We still can't laugh about some of our physical fights. Think scissors and running. Thankfully, we lived to tell about it.}

I cannot identify exactly what is different with Tina and I,  but somehow we've managed to remain close over the years we've been far away and in fact we've grown to be closer friends in recent years. We're good at trusting one another's love and when we get busy and don't interact for a week or two neither of us is quick to jump to being hurt or mad ... for some reason God has given us a lot of grace for each other. I'm grateful for that. We have managed to enter into the rare chances we get to be together with anticipation (expectancy) but not huge expectation. That means our time together is not stressful and we don't let each other down - we're simply excited for the opportunity to be together.

Happy Birthday Tina. Thank you for being a great friend. I don't know when we get to be together again but I hold you in my heart every day and I love you very much! 
~tara

1999

"Let's use the example of friendship and how removing the element of life from a noun can drastically alter a relationship. If you and I are friends, there is an expectancy that exists within our relationship. When we see each other or are apart, there is expectancy of being together, of laughing and talking. That expectancy has no concrete definition; it is alive and dynamic and everything that emerges from our being together is a unique gift shared by no one else. But what happens if I change that 'expectancy' to an 'expectation' -spoken or unspoken? Suddenly, law has entered into our relationship. You are now expected to perform in a way that meets my expectations. Our living friendship rapidly deteriorates into a dead thing with rules and requirements. It is no longer about you and me, but about what friendship is supposed to do, or the responsibilities of a good friend." 
-Excerpt from The Shack-

2012