The last few months were difficult ones for our family. It is beginning to feel like we're coming out on the other side in a healthier place though. We could not share too much, it turns out not everything in life is world wide web material.There were some real struggles to work through and some healing that needed to be started. Ultimately we needed to accept that things are not always what we pray and hope for them to be... Sometimes quite the opposite. When you figure that out you have to rethink your understanding of prayer and God.
We moved down here expecting God to answer all our prayers and provide for us in very specific ways. We romanticized what coming here would mean and we expected to always be safe from spiritual or personal attack. In truth, we confess we had a little bit of an attitude of entitlement - thinking, "Do you see me? I came here - I think you owe me this Lord - protect me from all the bad stuff."
That was totally cracked theology for sure, but when some of our prayers were not answered we were hit with a bit of a crisis of our faith. After going through the difficult stuff; fearing future trouble became the challenge. (Thinking- God did not hear me and He won't likely hear my next request either.) All of a sudden we were in a cycle of worrying a lot and sinking into fearful places. Playing a game of "something bad is probably going to happen" in your head won't help if or when the something bad happens. That is just more cracked thinking.
We've changed our view of what following Christ means. It no longer means total protection and all answered prayers. It does mean walking in His love minute to minute, hour to hour, and day to day. Not looking too far ahead or obsessing about the past.
It sometimes means facing things we prayed we would not face and loving God anyway. It means trusting Him to help us get through the crappy parts of life and believing that He can turn hurt into healing and bad into good and maybe even sorrow into joy.
It is not needing to get the WHY of it all the time; or even most of the time. In the light and in the dark we need Christ. The dark times bring desperation. We need his presence in pain, His strength where we are weak and His peace and forgiveness. I shake my fist at Him in the morning and fall on my knees crying in the evening, and He patiently and lovingly accepts both.
Every day is a new chance to see people the way He sees them. We want to be loving, we want to be forgiving; yet we're human and struggle with bitterness and frustration. What we want to be and who we are does not always connect. Daily we're given a new opportunity to be patient and kind. We hope to look at each person with His eyes, knowing there is a story we don't understand. Rather than feel frustration with lack of progress , we want to stick with it, keep trying, just the way He is sticking with us.
For however long we remain here, we hope to see people with His eyes ... and ourselves as people that are not owed an easy life - but in spite of the challenges are still able to love wherever He plants us.
"Give me your eyes for just one second Give me your eyes so I can see Everything that I keep missing Give me your love for humanity Give me your arms for the broken hearted - Ones that are far beyond my reach. Give me your heart for the ones forgotten Give me your eyes so I can see.
Brandon Heath - Give Me Your Eyes
Looked down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touched down on the cold black tile
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breathe in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos
Are those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?
Chorus
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me your heart for the once forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see
yeah .. yeah .. yeah .. yeah
Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide whats underneath
There’s a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
To ashamed to tell his wife
He’s out of work
He’s buying time
Are those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?
Chorus
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me your heart for the once forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see
yeah .. yeah .. yeah .. yeah
I’ve been there a million times
A couple of million eyes
Just moving past me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
Well I want a second glance
So give me a second chance
To see the way you see the people all alone
