Thoughts from a year ago ...

This week as we think of the flood-relief that Lori, Licia, and Zach are trying to do ...
This post came to mind.
Thank you guys, for never giving up and maintaining that He is always enough.

You inspire us!

2/9th's of the Tribe Heading East

Troy and his side-kick Phoebe are headed to Michigan later today. Because Phoebe can fly for free on Troy's lap we (read: I) thought it might be better to split up the two babies between the two parents. Phoebe is very much bonded to Troy and quite honestly prefers him anyway.

They will be in the Grand Rapids area visiting a couple of churches. One of the churches is Lighthouse Community Church, a church that sends two or three teams to Haiti each year. We've been blessed by their visits. Troy is anxious to visit them on their turf this time.
`

Isaac, Hope and Noah are going to go spend Saturday with G & G Livesay ... leaving Britt, Paige, Lydia and I to have some time to do some college (& Haiti) shopping. I am planning to pretend the things we are buying are not really for Britt to take and move away with; denial is a wonderful and powerful tool that can be used for coping. I cannot leave a tool like that to sit unused.



Happy 34th Anniversary Mom and Dad Livesay!
(A photo of Troy and his younger brother Paul with their new baby girls.)

Tipap (one of the greatest guys in LaDigue) called us to check in yesterday. He said everything is going well at the mission. It was great to hear from him, he is such a good guy, we all miss him and Haiti.

We actually accomplished a few things on the list this week. Our house is advertised, Lydia has health insurance, the dock is out of the water, the front bushes are trimmed, some thank-yous were written ... all the kids still received three meals a day and are bathed and clothed.

Everybody (except Lydia and Paige) has a cold now, but that is a MN fall tradition and cannot be avoided. Lydia eats every two or two and a half hours around the clock, but she is a very mellow baby and easily goes back to sleep after her night-time feedings.

It's a slow news day. Nothing else to report. Have a great weekend!

~Tara for all of us

Lydie

Two week stats -
7 pounds 15 ounces
20.25 inches

Grandpa thought-
She looked too much like her daddy. ;-) Really, he is going to get over it ... he just wondered why this one could not look more Porterish and less Livesayish.

How do you like your eggs?

Dinner time around here is sort of ... sort of ...


Bad.



I can get through an entire day, do the cleaning, laundry, diapers, playing, managing life sort of things ... I basically keep track of everyone and sort of know what is going on ... I make a great PB and J sandwich at lunch time.


Dinnertime is not so easy.


Tonight Isaac and Troy and I all wanted left-overs from some of the yummy meals people have made for us. Hope and Noah wanted eggs. Fine. Not a problem. Eggs are easy. Are eggs not easy? Yes. Of course eggs are easy.

The problem occurred when the stove (which by the way is easy to forget about when it is in a bedroom) was left and forgotten with eggs scrambling. The eggs were not so much scrambled as they were charred. I peeled off the black parts and tried to convince H and N that they were still edible. They disagreed and Peanut won the prize. She likes burned eggs.



We stuck with the breakfast theme and had cereal instead. It would be hard for me to wreck that. (And, for the record ... Phoebe has not yet tried to cook anything from her crib. If she did, I might promote her to dinner cook.)


Tomorrow Lydia is two weeks old and has her first check-up. If things go well Phoebe will get immunized for a few things and Hope, Isaac and Noah will all cooperate and act like angels while that happens. In the late afternoon we're all looking forward to introducing Lydia to her Papa Porter ... who is safely home and is no longer sitting in that Crane.

Things Random and Not So Interesting

MN is a dark and dreary place. We heard on the news last night that there has only been one day of no precipitation since October 1st. Seasonal-affective disorder is in high gear. ;-/ After months and months of sunny days in the Caribbean, the clouds here are getting old. We're all enjoying the 50 degree temps, the rain can go though!

Last night our home-church had a fun baby shower for Lydia & Phoebe. It was a great time, we were blessed by the thought and effort that went into it. Thank you NEW JOY FAMILY!

We're all sensing that God has us in a holding pattern of sorts. The number of unknowns and the variables seem only to increase. As in, He WANTS us to learn more about trusting - and wait on Him a bit.

Britt is getting anxious about not knowing where she will go to college yet. The school she MOST wants to hear from has not yet offered anything formally. So she must wait. We (Troy and I) have no idea what to do with all our stuff and our house (the last two years it has been rented furnished) and the resolution of that situation is probably more than a month or two away. For most people (us for sure), not knowing ... waiting ... uncertainty ... Well, it is all very uncomfortable.

For whatever reason it is where we are, and we're trying to be patient, obedient, and trusting. Some days we are very good at it, others it is pretty ugly.

It is clear that God wants us to trust Him with all of it and trust that His plan for us will be known to us when we need to know. And no sooner.

Here is the house that God needs to sell or rent ...

The emotional attachment is greater than I realized to a silly house, but it is the only home Troy and I ever bought together, all of our early family bonding with B and P took place here, it is where Hope and Ike came to live after our adoption was complete, Noah's only home ... etc, etc ... My Dad and Troy added an addition in the summer of 2003 -- tons of their own labor and planning went into it ... so the place has some sort of emotional hold on me.

Here are our favorite photos that Marcia took ... She does a lot of wedding photography, therefore kissing is her favorite suggestion. My favorite photo is at the bottom of the blog, after the last post. Troy says no kissing photos for a prayer card though.

We had Hope and Isaac's Kindergarten conference today. Their teacher adores them and is a bit sad thinking about them leaving in a couple of months. They are total opposites, she seems to have a grasp on each of their personality quirks. She said, "Isaac really wants to be a big brother and take care of Hope == but she is not having that." :) She also told us that she asked him if when he got back to Haiti, he might write her a letter. He said, "Sure, what letter?" I only cried once during the conferences, which I think is very respectable.

And, because I know Troy is not at all watching the blog much these days, I will share a little secret with you. Mr. "I think American television stinks" --- really likes to watch (and admits to being a bit preoccupied with) "Dancing with the Stars."Phoebe puked on Troy yesterday, but that seemed to be it. She has not shown signs of illness since then. She is about to cut her FOURTH tooth in about ten days though. She will have two top and two bottom by weeks end. No messing around with spacing this teething thing out.

Britt and Paige are heading into the last weeks of swim season. I LOVE swimming and enjoy watching them, but we're still sort of anxious to have one less thing to juggle ... we never brought the whole circus to a swim meet, we just never wanted to subject ourselves to so much speculation. As it is, some man looked at Lydia tonight and said, "That baby is 12 days old? You have a senior swimming? Well, you'll have kids living under your roof for 36 years at least!"

Thank you sir, for doing the math. Mighty good of you.

I did not fill him in on the other madness.

Love from dank, dreary Minnesota-

T.

Posting quickly so that slide show will go away and the music will not automatically come on anymore. That has to be getting annoying to you.


The weekend was USA full. We're pooped. Britt swam and swam and worked. Paige went horseback riding and hung out with friends and Grandma. Troy worked in our yard with his friend John at the house. Our renter ended up being home so I was off the hook and did not go through the storage room ... I did go stare at the room for a half hour ... wept for a few minutes, then picked out two big toys to take over to a garage sale to sell. Not so productive really.

Troy and I managed to get the five little kids to church this morning. We were only 17 minutes late. Nothing to be ashamed of for the first try at it.


We treated Tara, Hope, Ike, Noah, and Phoebe with preventative Scabies treatment. Paige and Britt have had almost zero exposure and are in chlorine everyday anyway. Lydia is too little. Poor Troy is still struggling, but the Dr. told him it would take time to officially go away even after the treatment with the oral medication. Friends from church took a risk on Troy and had us over for lunch today. THANK YOU Chamberlains!!! Even if they're Canadians, we love them. ;-)



I think now that she is a whopping 10 days old, I can go out on a limb and say that Lydia is going to be an easy baby. Phoebe is checking her out a little bit here and there. Today she threw a stuffed animal right on her face. It was a loving sisterly gesture.


The coming week is full of school, swimming, Dr appts for many, and Troy's trip to MI. We'll write if anything newsworthy happens.

Until then,

Tara for all

More Linking

I have no time to blog deep thoughts; although seeing the flooding in Haiti and hearing Zach talk about it (on the phone this morning) is enough to cause lots of deep thoughts ... so sad.

Until there is time, I am sending you elsewhere for new blog reading.

Hope and Phoebe are back with Tess for two days. You might remember Tess is coming to Haiti in January to live with us and be a missionary to us AND to Haiti. To help you keep it all straight, Tess is Marcia's daughter.

I laughed at her descriptions of her time with Hope and Phoebe last night. Here is the link to her blog.

Back to my list. We'll find you Monday or Tuesday.
-Tara

More Flood News & Photos

Go here for Licia's blog post about the flood.

Sad News in Haiti

We've talked about Rusty and Cheryl before, they run a orphange/mission called Cabaret Baptist Church, School and Children's Home. They are kind people, with a cool blog.

Rusty wrote to Troy tonight to share some bad news about a flood in Cabaret. Go here to see their story and photos.

For those of you who have been to Haiti and stayed with us, Cabaret is the last "bigger" town you go through on your way North on 1 before you get to the turn to LaDigue. When you go throught that crowded market right on 1, you are in Cabaret. It is about half way between Port and the LaDigue turnoff.

Terribly sad to see. We're praying for you and Cabaret, Rusty and Cheryl!

Marcia Erickson is a Saint

The photo shoot is over. No one is dead. That is what we call SUCCESS in these here parts. Marcia took tons of photos. We're just starting to go through a few hundred of them to see if we can find one where Noah is not picking his nose or Phoebe is not trying to get away.

If there are none like that, well then, these two photos are by far my favorites ... and we'll just go with this ... These were the first few taken just to figure out coloring and if we would want to go out in the sunlight.

(Thank You so much Marcia!!!!! We love you! And if I were guessing, I bet you said "Phoebe" 568 times in one hour, you probably need to find a way to take a nap now.)

Choice One - Noah picking nose, Britt looking annoyed, Mom looking distraught, Phoebe on the move.


OR
Choice Two - Phoebe's butt

Mites and other Joys

Troy apparently has Scabies or, "some other mite." Lovely. He took some pills and they said in TWO WEEKS he should stop itching. Thank you Haiti for all you do for us. Give, give give - that's all you ever do. In the meantime he is sleeping on his own mattress on the floor and we have to wash all bedding in hot water every day. They told him not to hold the baby and that we should all treat ourselves preventatively with some of that Scabies cream. Then they said, "Just take your kids and wife to the Doctor to get them the prescriptions for the cream."

They have no idea what they are asking "Just take your kids to the Doctor" means a heck of a lot of rigmarole to people who - A. Have annoying high deductibles B. Have no doctor that they regularly see & C. Have a boat load of kids D. Have kids who have not been seen by USA Doctors in a few years, therefore USA Doctors won't do anything without doing a physical first ... they are essentially asking that we spend about $500 to get some scabies cream. We are of course trying to buck the system and find a way around it by getting one of our Doctor friends to call in a Rx for the cream for us.

The total chaos of Monday and Tuesday melted into something more manageable yesterday ... maybe we can handle this after all - time will tell I suppose. I am tempted to tell Hope and Isaac's teacher not to send them home with things that we will lose ... the parents are not organized enough to be trusted with the school districts library books, please don't send them with the children!!!!

Troy and I decided that our avoidance of things we need to do is going to come back and bite us in the rear. We sat down and made our 'To-Do' list yesterday. The problem with the list is that all things are four and five day projects. It is not a list that says:

• go to post office
• return at Target
• pay bills

It says:

• Figure out Lydia's insurance
• Get Phoebe to immunization clinic
• Get photos and write Advertisement for house rental
• Go through and clean out storage room and shed at house
• Decide what to sell
• Sell
• Mow, rake, fertilize, weed, trim trees and bushes ... make yard in Zimmerman look like someone cares a tiny bit about the place
• Take the dock out (on a day that it is not 40 degrees)
• Finish planning Britt's graduation party (food, program, etc, etc)
• Write Thank-You's
• Start writing letter to Supporters to be mailed in November
• Get Troy's presentation ready for Michigan trip
• pay bills, write to USF for Britt, sleep and eat and oh yeah ... try to pay attention to the seven children

So, we have the list. Does it make you feel as nauseous as it does us? Lydia should have been born three weeks ago so I would have the energy to tackle this now.

Graciously, friends from church provided us with meals for this whole week. Thank you Bogles, Foys, and Verwegs! You've saved us from a lot of peanut butter.

On top of this, we decided to torture ourselves with a family photo today. Our old photo that we used for a prayer card is two kids short. We ran out a few months ago. Since Troy is going to share about the mission and the work Lifeline does he needs to have one. Marcia Erickson is coming today to do family photos for us ... seven days after giving birth I am putting myself in front of a camera. Thankfully I have kids to put on my lap. Anyone who has gone for a family photo knows this is a few hours where you all try with all of your might, not to kill each other. You beg your children to hold still and not fall in the grass or mud until after the photos are done. You grit your teeth and try to be nice while you profusely sweat and try to hide your wet pits. It is a great time of making happy family memories.

Troy spoke with Peter yesterday. Things seem to be going fairly well at the mission. They worked out the food order for next month and caught up a bit. Peter is like the grown up Isaac. He is a glass half full guy, and like Amie Sexton said, the glass is not only half full -- it is BEAUTIFUL too. He is the kind of guy you look forward to talking to whenever you can.

Much Love from the Land of the List-

Tara for all of us

The Whole Tribe

For Dad/Grandpa

My dad missed out on Lydia's arrival. We are all missing him a lot. I am posting one quick story for him that I know he'll like. Dad, today when Troy was down in St.Paul at the Doctor, he and Noah drove through that construction area in the 35E and 694 area. All of a sudden Noah says "Hey Dad, there's grandpa there's grandpa!" Troy was totally confused and said "What Noah? WHERE is Grandpa?" Noah said, "You said he was in the crane --- there he is!" :) I had no idea the kid EVER listened to anything we say ... I guess he proved me wrong.

Phoebe cut a tooth today. Her first one. It is on TOP ... I have never seen that before. Is that weird? We finally weighed her, she is 23 pounds of thighs. Her new nickname is "The Fridge." We're aiming for her to be an NFL linebacker someday.

And, yes we know we need to destroy the blog so she never sees how much fun we had at the expense of her thighs.

October 2003

We have access to all our old photos now. It has been fun to see how much Hope used to look like Phoebe (just a lot smaller). These photos are all B.N. (before Noah) -- then Noah arrived in 2004 and started some sort of ball rolling that led to a larger family then we planned. We all agree that in some way Noah is the permanent baby of this family. He requires BY FAR the most attention...the boy is high maintenance.

Today Hope and Ike are at school, Troy went to the Infectious Disease people to have a follow up appointment. He is still scratching like a mad-man and the rash issue has not gotten better. Hopefully they can figure that out today. He took Noah with him to lighten the load (read: removed the high maintenance child.)

Phoebe plays nicely on the floor and Lydia is doing the eat and sleep newborn routine. Our first night at home was much more eating then sleeping; as expected.

The nursing thing has caused quite interesting conversations between the boys. I am just hoping they are not discussing the finer points of breast feeding when they are out and about today. I'm betting Isaac has informed the entire Kindergarten class by now.

I am devoting all my energy to moving slowly to minimize incision pain and to producing the right amount of milk. This is proving to be no small task. Not to be outdone by the new baby, Peanut has been sick for two days ... meaning Britt started her day off with a bang by cleaning up dog-mess. Why did we bring the dog here????????

Home & Behind the Name

We're home- (or at the home that is not at all our home but has become our home for a few weeks)
Lydia and I are home. She is totally unaffected. I am overwhelmed. We stayed at the hospital one extra night and left earlier today. Lydia left the hospital at 6lb 14 oz today. It is a good thing that Troy is around a bit to help, or I may have left the hospital, gone straight to the bus station, boarded a Greyhound and headed somewhere calmer/quieter.
It is still not out of the question.

Behind the name-

Lydia was an early Christian in the Bible, as was Phoebe. Since the two sisters are so close in age we stuck with the "early Christian" theme we had going. You had no idea there was a theme? Now you know! Lydia means "beauty." We're biased but we think she is living up to that. We're praying she grows up to be a true beauty on the inside too.

Beth means "house of God" or "worshiper." I like the meaning, but more than that I love the Beth that Lydia Beth is named after. If you have not had the pleasure of meeting Beth McHoul, missionary to Haiti for 18 years, I hope you will get the chance someday.

We're guessing we need a good week or two or eight, before we have any teensy-tiny clue about how to balance things. Until then the blog may go silent for days at a time. We'll be busy with physical recovery, figuring out how to 'do' 7, and starting on the project of finding a renter (cleaning out our house and yard) and helping Britt figure out her college plans. Troy has a big trip to Michigan coming up soon too.

We SO appreciate all you've done for us and are blessed to have such a caring circle of friends, family and on-line acquaintances.

With Love,

T-T-B-P-I-H-N-P-L, and the dumb dog too

Weekend Update

Mommy and Lydia are resting well in the hospital. Isaac and Noah got to meet their new sister yesterday, and of course Isaac said "She's SO BEAUTIFUL!". Noah was interested for approximately 2.5 seconds, and then ready for the next event. Hope and Phoebe will have to wait until tomorrow to meet her. Thank you to everyone who has helped us by watching parts of the tribe, loaning vehicles, coming to visit us, and for all of your prayers. Your outpouring of love and support means so much. We will pray that God blesses you all in return. We're heading back to the hospital this morning for another day of staring at the new baby and smiling. -Troy

INTRODUCING 7!

Sorry for the delay everyone, here, at long last, we are proud to announce the arrival of:

LYDIA BETH LIVESAY

She was born this morning at 8:31,

Stretching to a length of 19 3/4 inches,

And tipping the scales at a weight of...

7 lbs 7 ounces

Baby 7! came in with sevens all around.

Mommy and Lydia are resting peacefully in the hospital while I ran off to find internet access. The surgery went smoothly, and Britt and I were both able to be in the OR for the birth. It was a wonderful experience.

The first winner of the weight-ing game is Karen Combes. Congratulations Karen! She was the very first to guess as well. Looks like the fearsome five + Peanut will be on their way to Ohio soon.

Karen Livesay (my mom) was also correct in guessing the weight, so she'll be picking up extra babysitting duties besides the normal Grandma-time as her fabulous prize.

Ready to go

Troy here. Thank you to everyone who cared for us and prayed - I don't think I would be home already if you all had not been covering me. I am thankful to be with my family again and am anxiously looking forward to tomorrow. Our entire tribe appreciates you all.

Tonight Phoebe was a bit fussy and not accepting Tara's help. Tara said, "Troy she does not want me, she wants you." Isaac said, "Mom, she wants you, she is just afraid if she touches you that you might explode!"

:) After tomorrow there should be no more fears about that.

Until there is more news,

Troy for all of us

(A 2004 photo of our funny man. Due to his high-profile position in Haiti, he's gotten more conservative and cleaned up his image a bit.)

On the Mend & Weight Pool for 7!

Late Edit - clue for weight pool- (This prize is the prize that gives and gives, the duplicate guesses will all win!)

I just wanted to thank you all for caring for us and praying for us these past few days. I don't even know how to thank you, to say that we're blessed is an understatement. But, I should still say it: We are blessed!

Jean was buried yesterday. The family was able to use money that Troy/Lifeline had left for Peter to take him to the Doctor to buy him a coffin. We don't think there was a funeral.

I am home with the kids. We're just waiting for a few more test results and then it sounds like they will kick Troy loose yet this afternoon. The whole scene there was very much like and episode of House M.D. -- he was very popular with the residents who all wanted to try and figure him and his weird health history out.

In the time I was there yesterday six of the residents came through to ask questions and figure out if he was wrestling goats, catching rats bare-handed, or messing with dangerous livestock .. or what in the heck caused his illness. They all want to be the one to ask the right question that yeilds the elusive answer. He said he feels tired and a bit achy today but WAY WAY better then the last few days, and the vomiting and nausea are totally done now. Praise the Lord for that!

My OB was nervous about Troy being there on Thursday but it sounds like the Docs down at Regions Hospital are putting together information for my Doctor to reassure him that as long as Troy does not decide to spit in my incision or something that it will be okay for him to be there.

We're doing all our last minute cleaning and getting ready. I am washing all the bedding and doing things I don't like to do so that we are done with some of those things for the first few days that 7! is home. We get to come home from the hospital on Sunday. Troy is planning to bring the laptop and get a photo and the stats posted sometime on Thursday afternoon.

We are being blessed by Auntie Tina and Uncle Matt and Grandma Porter and Marcia and Tess and Greg Erickson and Lisa and Declan -- between this crew of helpers the little kids are covered and cared for over the long weekend. Troy is free to either rest or be with me and I don't have a care in the world. :) Britt and Paige are going to be with us on Thursday but then back and forth to their own swimming and school and social events. It is all coming together. Thanks again for your prayers. :)

My Dad got to have his birthday dinner last night. Lucky him, he got to pay for all of our meals too. That is the kind of birthday celebration we enjoy attending. ;-) Dad leaves for the Ukraine tomorrow (Wednesday) afternoon. He is leading a team working with Global Action that will work at a camp that serves orphans. Dad was able to be part of the purchase of the land and the building of the camp on past trips. This is his sixth trip there, he is an old pro --- but the OLD part is the part that makes the travel and the trip a bit challenging. We are praying for you Dad! To see more about the Global Action program in the Ukraine, go to www.hopecenterukraine.com

In the comments section of THIS post we are holding a gambling contest of sorts ... missionary style gambling, even Baptists can play. Enter your name (by choosing "other" you can type in your name if you don't have a google account.) Then enter your guess on the birth weight of 7!.

Whoever is closest wins the prize. The prize is a week at *your* house with the all the kids and Peanut. You're about to be so lucky!!!!! ;-) For your assistance in guessing the weight -- here are some facts- I have gained 34 pounds as of today. The baby is actually 38.5 weeks right now. I would tell you what the other kids weighed, but that makes it too easy. Good Luck!

From St.Paul -

LATE EDIT- They decided to keep Troy tonight, he should be released in the morning.


My head is swimming and tired and maybe this won't be so organized. Troy is resting right now - I am restless.

First, I just got on-line in the atrium of a St.Paul hospital and your comments encouraged me and made me bawl -- yes, I do bawl all the time -- but still.

Troy literally could not sleep due to pain behind his eyes and in his back ... and nausea last night. We both rested a couple of hours. I got on my knees -- confessed my selfishness, prayed -- got back in bed and got mad and selfish again ... pretty much over and over for hours until we got up and got ready and checked out at 4am. We got to the hospital that our friend Jen (now in Haiti) told us to try at 5am. (By the way Jen, Dr. Eng says "Hi.")

We basically struggled to decide if we should come in or not because we are not wanting to jump the gun or cause huge medical bills when it is one of those things that might just run its course.

As we pulled into the parking lot I said, "God, I hope we are right to be here. Help us know." We got down to the E.R. and the lady who greeted us said, "You live in Haiti? Do you know Heartline Ministries?" I said "DO I?? That is my one of my best friends in the world!" (John and Beth McHoul -- BETH is my friend .... John is a whole different story.)

It turns out that the nurse that checked us in is married to a guy we met last year when he came out to Lifeline to do some filming on the video that is currently on John and Beth's website.
http://www.heartlineministries.org/ So in this state of 4 million people, the lady checking us in is married to a guy we met and worked with in Haiti for a few days. That was good confirmation for us. Thank you God!

Troy had a ton of tests done. Most all of it has come back, we're waiting on a few more things. The Dengue test will take a few days. But his spinal tap did come back positive for Viral Meningitis. We are still learning about that, it could be caused by many things from what I understand. It is sort of a blanket diagnosis, the root cause may or may not be found. They admitted him for observation and to wait on the other test results, they also gave him Morphine for the pain. There is a possibility that they will let him go home later this afternoon once all the other things are ruled out.

I left Troy for a while to go to my OB appt. We are on and set for Thursday morning, just not sure who my side-kick will be quite yet. Once we truly "get" what viral meningitis means we will better be able to decide...I am hopeful it will be Troy, but thankful for Britt and know she would be fun to have by my side too. Of course Troy needs to feel well enough to stand in that situation for a few minutes, so IF it is okay with the Dr's that he be there --- it will then be up to him to decide if he is up to it.

I think Troy did that ramp up ramp up ramp up thing and worked hard to get it all done ... and once in the air towards MN he just let down ---- and his immune system followed.

Here is the reality check of the day. I am still processing this and have a whole load of questions to pose for feedback. As I was sitting in a dark corner trying to rest at about 6am, my phone rang. It was the Mission, specifically Peter and Robenson. They were calling to tell me that Jean passed away late yesterday. For those of you who have not followed, Jean is the boy in LaDigue who has AIDS. I wrote about some feelings I had towards him here at this post.

I cannot yet clearly share all that his passing leaves me to wonder. Troy had decided to withhold information from me about how bad Jean had gotten in recent weeks, he intended to tell me but had not gotten to it yet (there have been a few things going on.) Troy felt when he left on Wednesday that Jean would die before any of us got back. He just did not know it would be so soon.


If ever there was a reality check, this would be it. This boy lived a miserable life. He was in pain for years and not only that, his family did very little to help him with it ... for whatever reason. That is neither here nor there at this point. I might sit and pity myself over a missed romantic weekend and a sick husband ---- but my sick husband had a way to get relief and did not spend years in agony only to die naked and hurting.


Jean taught me some things while he was living, and there are lessons for me in his dying. I have a very recent photo to share but will do that later after I have had more time to think it all over. This photo is from February 2006. It grieves me to think of the way Jean spent most of his life. It confuses me. In the last few weeks I was in Haiti he would scream in pain when I tried to give him a bath or put lotion on him. I am thankful that his pain is done. I am left with many questions ... and hopeful that on some level Jean knew he was loved.

Thanks for your prayers for Troy (and our family) and for the family of Jean ... I will share more about them when things settle down and time allows.

Before I go ... it is my Dad's Birthday today. I love you DAD! You are a rock in our lives, Troy and I appreciate you more then we can adequately express today.