spring break week

only had time for one spring-break family outing, but they seemed pleased...

Fun at the Sugar Cane Musuem

Extra time during Spring Break to unbraid, wash, comb, rebraid hair ...

photo of a photo of an amazing afro

two hours of reading each day - spring break requirement

sleepover with friends

Meanwhile in TX ....

the two big sisters together in Texas this weekend

We didn't take the week off of work for Spring Break but we both got sick and each ended up home in bed a couple of the days, which is not at all to say that our being home meant we spent quality time loving on the little fools of the house. The kids were champs and made their own fun at home and got along well. They enjoy going places but for a week they are quite content to be home-bodies and didn't mind our lack of exciting plans. On Wednesday, in between the rumbles in the Bronx, (bathroom runs) (pun!) we took them to a place near us just to get them out of the house for a bit. The place has implements from sugar cane plantations and artifacts from former rum distilleries.  

Isaac noticed a bus-load of guests arriving at the exact time we did and said "Well, that's unfortuituous." Noah did dramatic reenactments of the possible pitfalls of each step of the process of harvesting sugar and turning it into rum.  

This crew always entertains and makes us laugh. Spring break 2013 may be over Monday morning at 9am, but the fun continues. 

Friday's Child

Monday's child is fair of face,

Tuesday's child is full of grace,

Wednesday's child is full of woe,

Thursday's child has far to go,

Friday's child is loving and giving,

Saturday's child works hard for a living,

But the child who is born on the Sabbath day,Is lucky and happy and good and gay. 

This morning I was refusing to put my feet on the floor when Beth texted at 8am to say someone was in labor and maybe we should all head down to the Maternity Center fairly soon. Fast forward 15 or 20 spazzy - mixed up information-fast moving- pajama wearing minutes later - and a 5 pound 7 ounce baby boy joined the party.  

Beth was in running clothes, I was in pajamas and Melissa was wiping sleep out of her eyes. The baby and his Mama didn't seem to care about our lack of readiness for a speedy birth.All is well and Mama and baby are getting to know one another this afternoon. 

After the birth, during family planning/DepoProvera day, we converted the Maternity Center into a temporary hair salon  ... six hours later, we're getting close to a finished product and a happy Hope. 

before

after

recent (random) photos & joyful news

I said, "Kids, look sad and I'll send the photo to Dad and tell him we need him to come home."

Try one ... Lydie was too freaky looking...

try two...

Third try ... best effort.

Djenie and Kenny - formerly at Harbor House

They visited yesterday, he turned two last month.

Before the date with Noah for his birthday ... 

Favorite quotes of that night, "Well Mom, you're my first date ever. I guess someday I'll have to tell a girl, Sorry to say it girl, you are not my first date."  Later when Troy called, he said to Troy, "I am with your lady, we're out, you should be jealous."  He wore Troy's cologne for the date. :)

Babies Gloria and Gary - both born this year...

Marie Fusenie and baby Tamar at their post-partum check-up

Paige and her traffic-time reading ...

John turned 60.  Seems like a lot of years of bad hair to me. 

Abigail turned 1 (Jimmy and Becky's baby girl)

Said to the boys: "Hey, we think we found a teacher for this summer"  Isaac said, "Oh really, who?!"  I said, "Her name is Chelsea and she is cute and smart."  

Noah said, "Well, if she is cute I'm gonna have to kiss her."  

Meet cute, smart Chelsea who is coming for six weeks this summer to help make us all sane.

modern love in Pòtoprens

As you know, electricity in Port au Prince (Pòtoprens) can be like a new riddle to solve every day. Its tenebrous unpredictability always keeps us all under the control of the great electricity Czar and all of his minions.  

{Related?: Lab rats are being used less frequently in experiments.}

It is not good to charge batteries on computers, phones, or any electronics unless you have city or generator power. (In other words try not to charge batteries off of batteries, it shortens their life.) I admit that I don't pay attention or care enough about charging at the right time. I admit that my lack of care is annoying to my helpmate. "Charge em if you got em" is frequently called out across the house. 

 I pick up my phone and say, "Wow! How did it get charged to 100%?"

 "Charging your devices is my love language" he replied. 




(so many jokes there, no?) 

sunrise sunset

Here we are. The last semester of Paige's full-time-life in Haiti. It is sad and happy and wonderful and terrible.

She packed her first 40 pound bag of personal possessions and sent it to Texas for storage with our friends last week.  <sniff> More strategic removal of 50 pound bags is in the works.

Today is day one of our 2013 Spring Break week. Oddly, Paige long ago decided this is not a spring break hot spot and worked to save her translating and babysitting money for a ticket to Texas to see her best friend, sister, brother-in-law, and more friends.
<----

We are all inappropriately dramatic when she leaves here and upsets the balance of our lives. We will begrudgingly put her on the  airplane early morning, but only because we know we need to get used to this goodbye stuff.

In May she'll graduate, friends and family will join us in Port au Prince to celebrate her accomplishments. (Join us!) In late June she'll get on an airplane and head out of here to start her new life.

One of the things she'll do is attend a 10-day re-entry seminar for kids - ahem - young adults that have grown up cross-culturally.  The description and information can be found here and here. I scoffed and mocked this idea of re-entry struggles back before I knew anything about anything. As per usual, I learned I was wrong.

If you are interested in giving a small gift toward this re-entry seminar, please find the PayPal link (right) to do that.  If not interested, no problem at all, but please pray for our girl as she prepares to say goodbye to her home and transition from many years outside of the U.S.  - to life as a freshman American college student. Experience and friends with experience all tell us this adjustment can be challenging.

Related:
We spent January getting in touch with the core group of people that help us do our life here by supporting us with dollars and prayers.  If we could find them by email, we polled them in order to find out how they would feel about us taking an extended time away from Haiti (five months) in order to support Paige and her transition. (And also in order to take midwifery certifications and dental classes that cannot be taken here in Haiti.)

We were nervous about it as we prepared to ask.  We decided that 90% "yes, that is okay with us" was our goal and that if we could get 90% approval we weren't off base to want to do this for and with Paige.  Shockingly we had an 100% "yes, go!" response.

That to say, in August we will join Paige in Texas and be with her for her first semester of life in America. She is excited, we are excited. We'll all wrestle with our awkward, lost, uncomfortable, homeless feelings together as an act of solidarity.

We are so grateful our donors have given us the ability to do it. The five youngest kids are beyond excited and "When we are in America" is the most often uttered phrase in this house right now even though it is still several months away. They have not left this island since that time it shook in 2010; that time they left by C-130 military transport aircraft. Isaac thinks he can taste the juicy steak already.

We are hoping to find adoptive parents or someone else with an interest in a middle-term (five month) assignment in Haiti that might like to sub-lease our house. If by chance you know of someone that needs Port au Prince housing for five months we can guarantee that covering our rent will be cheaper than any guesthouse or hotel option around and they'll get to have total privacy and two amazing (but not amazing smelling) Mastiffs - please send them our way.

Most of us are purposefully living in the moment and this time in America is a long way off still. There is much much much to be done in the next five months  - we just know that the speed at which time passes is increasingly more insane at every turn. It is possible that the Haiti way of focusing only on the next five to ten minutes is what causes it all to pass by in a giant blur. Sometimes I notice that what I thought was coming back to an email quickly was actually coming back to it a month later.  Because of our tendency to lose a month in a blink of the eye, we wanted to share the 'house for rent' news while it could still be considered long range planning for those that might be looking for a temporary place to rent.

And now it is time for Spring Break 2013 to commence.

"I can't wait for tomorrow - even though I'm supposed to live in the moment." 
-Noah Livesay

reading and reviewing

Reading Jonathan Katz's thoughts on the complicated political history of Haiti and his personal experiences here before, during, and after the earthquake was very interesting to me. Katz was the Associated Press journalist living in Haiti when the earthquake struck.

Two short excerpts:
"They were words you can truly understand only when you realize that to love Haiti is to come away bruised; that loving Haiti is to love something that may not even love itself, but that it's still love, after all."

"Haiti had given, and it had taken, and I suppose I gave and took too. A little over a year before, the Earth had almost taken it all. I was leaving behind friends and the memories of friends, far too many of whom had gone from the world. The island, in good times and bad, is not a place to which you adapt. It rewires you. To cope and not be torched by its energy, you have to change the way you think and feel and see the things around you. Even the illogic has a rhythm to get used to. But there's a limit to understanding. I had thought I'd known Haiti before the quake struck; I had thought I'd learned post quake Haiti when the epidemic hit; I had thought I could predict the direction of things when the election went sour. I had no idea. Haiti, like life, does not care what you want from it."


I had involuntary tears in a few places in the book when I so deeply understood his struggles in the time following the quake. More than once I read out loud to Troy and Paige and their "Uh-huh, yes" responses confirmed that Katz was communicating things we all think and feel.

If you love this country and have an interest in its history or in understanding how millions of aid dollars can be given while nothing visibly changes, I believe Katz gives a fair assessment in his book, The Big Truck That Went By.

Beth thought I would like Madame Dread, I decided to read it on her recommendation.  This book also covers some of the volatile political history of Haiti, making it a both interesting and educational.  I enjoyed reading a memoir written by an American that came here for one reason, then fell in love with Haiti and eventually married a Haitian man. Kathie Klarreich honestly addressed some of the challenges of an interracial and intercultural marriage. Because there is a solid chance a bunch of little Livesays will end up in interracial and intercultural marriages I am interested in better understanding those unique dynamics. Klarreich's respect for Haiti is evident. She beautifully expresses the conundrum of loving a place that perpetually  leaves you uncertain and off balance.

~         ~          ~

Troy is back from his time in Limbe. He had a great week working out there and came home lamenting how "di" (hard) the city is compared to the outlying areas. There is Port au Prince, and there is the other Haiti. - Or maybe it is: There is Haiti and there is Port au Prince.
Whichever way, we love (and other things too) this place that leaves us perpetually uncertain and off balance.

for maternal health on int'l womens day

~         ~         ~


"I am 42 years old. My gray hair and lined face trick you into thinking I'm older than that.

I had five children.

In the earthquake my oldest, who was 14 at the time, was crushed to death in her school building that fell.

After the earthquake I had just four children.

God told me in a dream that He would give me another child, and then in 2011 He did.

Now I am pregnant again and I did not plan for this and I am afraid to have another child to care for so soon. I am getting old.

This is my seventh pregnancy."
~          ~         ~

Tears fall as she speaks.

~         ~          ~
We take her blood pressure as we listen to her story.

162/102

Managing hypertensive disorders in pregnancy is tricky.
Being pregnant in Haiti is tricky.
The need for better access to healthcare in the rural areas and in the cities is substantial.

~          ~          ~

On International Women's Day we salute the women of this island we love. 
We daily learn from them and their strength. We stand in awe of the way they carry this country.

We want more for them ... We want the best for them.  

Maternal Health matters ... reduces poverty ... saves lives.  

Consider giving here today in honor of the women of Haiti. 

ouvri bouch ou

(Written by Tara)

You may recall a month or two back I wrote that Troy was doing something new and exciting in Haiti and that he'd be sharing about that.

Ahem. 

Troy has had an interest in dentistry for a long time. He used to work in a dental office with his Mom on occasion.

When he was 18 he had that thing that many of us have when we are young; you know the thing. Six or eight years sounds like forever and you cannot possibly imagine taking on something that will take longer than nine or ten minutes. He made the choice to drink beer and have fun instead of pursing dentistry. The drinking establishments of the Twin Cities salute him.

Fast forward 19 years. Last June (2012) a dental team from Boston came to Heartline. When they left Troy said he knew it sounded crazy but he couldn't stop thinking about how much he enjoyed being a small part of their work and wondered if it was too late to try to explore some type of dentistry training.  Troy started researching and reaching out and asking questions.

Last November Troy was trained in atraumatic restorative treatment (ART) by a dentist that came to Haiti specifically by Troy's request to train him. The guy was a huge encouragement to Troy and because he'd worked so many years in Senegal and had trained hundreds of people in the techniques of ART and had also begun dentistry training at age 37, the two of them very much hit it off.

When that training was complete I asked Troy if he'd explain the why and when and how and all the ins and outs of the whole thing in a blog post.  Troy gave me an unconvincing "Yeah, sure, I'll do that for you my wonderful wife that never nags me" response.

Soooo. I saw on the calendar this morning that it is now March. I am finally giving up on waiting and I will make a feeble and mainly uneducated attempt at explaining the situation.

"The atraumatic restorative treatment (ART) approach was born 25 years ago in Tanzania. It has evolved into an essential caries management concept for improving quality and access to oral care globally." (This technique requires zero electricity or fancy technology and works just as well in a shiny dental office in Dallas, TX as it does in the interior mountains of Haiti or Tanzania.) 

For those with a desire for details and reading words that don't mean things to everyone:
New article - supporting evidence about ART
World Health Organization PDF about ART
Comprehensive 25 year anniversary overview of ART

Troy learned this treatment with the goal of doing this one safe and straight forward thing to help save teeth. He learned it as the tangible and useful thing he can safely do in the dentistry arena while he slowly begins to determine how to pursue more advanced training.

Now you're probably wondering if there are dentists in Haiti.  Yes, in Haiti there are dentists. There are some great dentists. There are some very sketchy dentists.

The average Haitian (which is possibly a rude generalization -please forgive it) does not have a disposable income to speak of, therefore going to a dentist is quite honestly a privilege of the upper-middle and upper class. Most people here are working, bartering, trading, and borrowing money for much more basic needs. A trip to the dentist would fall quite far down the list.

Oftentimes women in the prenatal program will have toothaches for weeks and months without getting help because the cost of seeing a dentist is prohibitive. They live with pain in ways we still cannot easily comprehend. Because money is tight for most folks, teeth are neglected for a long time and rather than saving the tooth by filling a cavity, it is common for teeth to become so decayed they need to be pulled instead.

As the man's wife, I can tell you that it has been a joy to see him so excited and happy. Having added this into his weekly routine and having something far more tangible than what he is usually toiling at has been so good for Troy.  In the last several years I was generally enjoying my day to day life and work more than Troy. He was feeling frustrated at a lack of measurable productivity. That is not to say there was not productivity, that is just to say Troy couldn't figure out how to measure it.

We're not alike in every way but we are similar in this way: we both prefer to be able to measure our work at the end of a day.  We struggle with frustration when things are ambiguous and intangible.  In many ways the unpredictability (read: zero cooperation) of Haiti has forced us to grow in this area, but even so we're both likely to take things in in a literal and concrete fashion and we generally approach things with a clear idea of "how things should be" -- that is super nice and all ... right up until our perceived "should be" is not at all how things are. Then we're frustrated.

Troy is starting with women in the Heartline programs, (sewing, jewlry, prenatal, early childhood development, cooking, literacy) there are enough cavities to keep him busy into the distant future before opening it up to others. For Troy this is one area where he can set a goal, work toward the goal, achieve a goal.  (See a bad tooth, work at fixing said tooth, end up with a finished product of a much improved tooth.)

It is the very beginning of what he hopes will become a long career of fixing mouths.

Antoinette & Troy

In January Troy's mom, her boss, and her entire dental office were in Haiti and they invited Troy to join them. This week another dentist from Minnesota invited Troy to go to the north part of the island to work with him. Knowing Troy is getting a chance to learn and observe and do something he loves is making his cheering section at home in Port au Prince very happy.



About the title: ouvri bouch ou means open your mouth
Photos: teeth repaired by troy with ART 

NineNoah

This young man, the freckle-faced comedian of our family, is nine years old today.

Not yet two years old, Isaac and Hope had been in Minnesota for nine months when I went to the doctor convinced I was sick, possibly with something terrible and terminal.  The doctor mocked me, "You're not sick. You're pregnant."  Much maniacal laughter ensued.  That possibility was not on my radar.

Here we are - nine and a half+ years later.
Fast facts about our fifth child:

• Noah was born via crazy emergency c-section and required resuscitation and NICU. He has continued on in the same vein, with attention seeking behavior most every day since.
• Noah has spent 68% of his life in Haiti.  (21% MN & 11% TX) 
• Noah has celebrated all but his 1st and 6th birthdays in Haiti.
• Noah hates milk. 
• Noah loves cucumbers, apples, and strawberries.
• Noah loves stuffed animals and dogs. He really wants another dog. 
• Noah worships his big brother and believes him to be one of the world's greatest humans.
• Noah loves to make people laugh, has a wicked hot temper and a very sensitive and affectionate side that not many people know about. (until now) 
• Noah is going on a birthday date with his mom tonight.  (she cannot wait!)

Happy NINTH Birthday to our complicated comedian. We're incredibly grateful you were a baby instead of a terminal illness and we are madly MADLY in love with your freckle-faced goodness.  

XOXO 

M & D

seeing change

In November we reached a point of great stress, I wrote HERE about Lydia. In part I said,  "We try to keep it light(er) when we discuss the ferocious personality that is Lydia Beth Livesay - we're madly in love with this complicated little person, and we feel protective of her.  Her capacity to love (and hate) is really quite a spectacle. In truth some of her behavior the last two months has been pretty upsetting and difficult for the whole family." 

After we wrote that people carefully approached us to say, "I have an idea" and "Can we tell you what worked for us?" We read the various stories and suggestions and talked to an internet friend, Tamara of ZoeRoots. We were very concerned about Lydie and everyone was affected by her angry outbursts. We needed that input.

We identified that the worst behavior began with the big change of starting school. We listed the (possible) past trauma in Lydia's life and we admitted that we were not doing a good job of paying attention to the signals she was sending prior to the total implosions.  

Lydia is the only one of the five youngest kids that ever brings up the earthquake. Every so often she'll say something out of the blue. In those weeks in October and November surrounding her most angry behavior she said, "When we left at the earthquake, that was scary" and "Why did you forget about me?"  We realized that most of Lydia's worst behavior came after feeling left out or alone. We also connected the very most over-the-top volatile times - to a lot of artificial food-dye and sugar consumption. 

If we let her eat a bowl of Fruit Loops and then her siblings left her out of a game - watch out!! Hell hath no fury like a Lydia filled with food dyes and feeling rejected or abandoned.

We started using some of the ideas that Tamara gave us and we tried hard not to miss the early signals she sent of impending doom. Things improved right away. The other thing we did was to attempt to address her diet. We're not delusional and we're not swimming in money, so we knew that many of the healthiest diets would not be easily implemented into our busy (read: chaotic) lives. We knew if we changed her diet we all needed to change our diets too.  Lydia's favorite foods:  white rice, white bread, white noodles and any sugary dessert. That has not changed.  What has changed is that we started finding ways to sneak in more protein (still failing at green things with her - she won't do it) and we began looking at the snack foods Lydia prefers. The yogurt she was eating every single day was filled with food dye. (Watch out for these: Blue 1, Red 3, Red 40, Yellow 5, and Yellow 6 - they are in almost everything.)

By attempting to remove all food dye and just watching the sugar a little more carefully we have seen a drastic change in Lydia since late December.  It is drastic enough that she is on board and totally believes that too much sugar or things that have dye in it are a bad idea for her.  The other night she said to Troy, "Oh, you're drinking pop? You're going to be wild and angry."  

This particular five year old is doing so much better. Thanks for writing your ideas and thank-you for praying for Lydie ... We're grateful to report things are vastly improved.

related: banned foods still allowed in usa 
MORE related:  Mac and Cheese 

art show!

a TRUE artist can win "best overall display" without paying attention to details

manje maten espesyalite (breakfast specials)

Morning menu:

Cornflakes (Lydia, Isaac)

Spaghetti (Phoebe, Hope, Noah)

Darkest Coffee possible (Mom and Dad and Paige)

The last couple weeks have been so busy, I'm not getting time to write anything about the good or the bad or the miraculous or the heart-breaking.  Bullet points don't tell stories well but at least they capture a small snap shot of life to try to retrieve the details later on ...

• Small team from Arkansas was here. Friends we met in 2006 led the group. They got to see a lot of different things going on in Haiti in the few days they were here. We skipped having them do any work that would be better offered as paying jobs to the Haitian workforce. That felt good. Or at least it did not feel bad. Troy led the group. I barely saw them but I think they had a good trip.
• Troy opened a car door into his head and looks super bad$%& right now. When he had the giant band aid on there, it wasn't so tough looking. 
• Paige translated a few days for a medical group. She keeps promising me that she will write about the cute and inspiring Haitian people she got to meet but her promises seem empty. 
• We got to see old friends we have not seen in many years and have a mother-daughter double date last week.
• A miracle occurred today - there was not even one car of ours broken down or out of commission.  The last time that happened it was 2011. 
• One pregnant lady in the program had her baby at home and then refused to move for a few days. We found out about it three days after the fact. She then got very sick with pneumonia.  She is doing much better now.  Her baby is doing well too.
• Today the pregnant mom of the twins was having some pre-term labor. Hopefully the hospital she was transported to was able to get those twins to stay in the cooker a while longer.
• Today Yvette gave birth to a baby boy at 3:50pm - He was 6 lbs and 1 ounce  - it was a difficult birth in more than a few ways, we're grateful that Yvette is doing okay tonight. It was great to have Melissa here for this birth or it would have been a transport -- lots of higher level complications to manage.
• The full prenatal day on top of a difficult birth was a little bit of crazy-making today.  Five new ladies started today. 19 ladies had prenatal visits after class. Currently have 46 pregnant ladies coming on Thursdays. That's an all time high and a tiny mistake on my part ... the room doesn't really hold them - the front row has their knees almost touching the teacher. :) 
• The kids got to go hiking in Kenscoff with other families and their teachers on Wednesday. It sounded like everyone had a great day.  Both Phoebe and Hope blamed their moods and troubles of the late afternoon today on the hiking of yesterday.  Brilliant girls.  What makes more sense than this: "I hiked yesterday, so today, 24 hours later, I am unpredictably grouchy and consequently I am unaccountable for my actions."  
• The kids have their second annual ART SHOW tomorrow morning.  Last year John bought this drawing of Noah's for $20 USD ... so the kids are excited to see what ridiculous amount of money John hands over to them tomorrow morning.