Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Déjà vu all over again

Countdown to Haiti 2010. Here we go again.

5 years ago right now we were doing exactly what we're doing now, in the same month, with almost the exact same crazy roller-coaster emotions. We moved out of our MN house on December 19th 2005. The high drama of that frigid winter night won't soon be forgotten. (It turns out you cannot die from sadness over leaving a house. So noted.)
the 2005 version of us

There was also an election scheduled in Haiti and flights being canceled by American Airlines due to the political climate and relative uncertainty.

It truly feels like dejavu all up in here right now.

The only difference is that we were in MN with five kids that time around. This time around we're in TX with more kids, decaying patience, diminishing stamina, and we know less than ever.

Staying put in one country is much less complicated. This moving kids across international borders stuff is crazy-makingGod should recognize that childless couples and empty nesters are way better choices for ... Telling God what He should recognize seems risky. Scratch that.

We seem to have a history of ridiculous behaviors, nagging doubts, and arduous adjustments in the months of Dec. and Jan.  One would think this would get easier each time. One would be so wrong.

We're inside the three week mark. Something switched about three days ago in all of us and suddenly we're nervous pacing, nervous eating, nervous acting, freaks.  

The intake of junk food and the size of some of our butts is directly related and mostly proportional to the amount of stress and nervousness in our lives. Canker sores the size of this great state of Texas are popping up all over the place. This response to stress is quite fortunate for Lay's Potato Chip Company and Anbesol, but terribly bad for us.

Death by BBQ chips is imminent.

Lydia seems very tuned into the increased tension in the house and refused to go to her weekly pre-school thing Tuesday. She pitched a fit and her weary mother couldn't muster up the mental strength to fight her. We've yet to meet anyone more persistent than Lydia. We're not sure if she doesn't want to be separated from us, or the chips. 

Isaac was lamenting on the ride home from school that all his friends are really going to miss him and that he only has three more days of school with these kids. I listened intently and finally said, "Wherever we leave people seem to miss you Isaac."  He was quiet as he thought for a moment and said, "Yes, well, I guess I am popular and have many friends all over the world. They are just going to miss me."  Friends, yes. Humility, not as much.

Troy and I had our first stress-related fight Sunday night. It was about the dishes and the dishwasher but really it was not about that at all. When does the day come where you are so refined that stress does not cause you to let it out on people you love? What if this is all a big test to see if we ever get it right?  What if passing the test means moving this tribe without ever fighting or eating ginormous quantities of potato chips or experiencing fear?

We're doomed. We'll surely be repeating this drill again in 2014.

We found old posts to prove what we already know ... We're not getting any better at this.(January 2006 (first move to Haiti) and January 2008 (going home after being in the USA for three months to move Britt to college and give birth to Lydia) and then getting re-settled.)

We'll be frequently absent on-line in the coming weeks as we pack and celebrate this joyous season with visiting family while making an attempt to love each other in the middle of the vortex of chaos and stress.

In the meantime, maybe you could entertain us with your smart quips and best stress-relief advice or de-lurk to acknowledge your deep and abiding friendship with Isaac while also distracting us from the potato chips.

41 comments:

Chris Noelle said...

Tara,
Girl,I complain just getting ready for church! For all you guys do and are doing, it's bound to be there. I feel you have my permission to eat as many BBQ chips as possible! I cannot relate to what stress you all are under. But, be comforted.....God is pleased with you! many many prayers for your new (groundhog day) journey ;)
Chrissy

Tom Vanderwell at Straight Talk said...

Two things:
1. Anyone named Isaac from Haiti has got to be one of the coolest kids around.

2. If you want to get distracted from the potato chips, I highly recommend plain M & M's. It is my stress food of choice.

Hang in there - and thanks again for being real!

Tom

Anonymous said...

I think your butts could use more girth anyway. It will be extra padding for the plane ride...and then it will melt away when you live on rice and beans. Enjoy the chips.

stephanie garcia said...

All I can say is that I feel your pain! We are a year away from a year's furlough with five kids and no idea where we will live and already I'm stressing about it - I can't imagine it being just three weeks away. Praying GOD gives you supernatural strength and patience!!

Murph said...

One part of your problem is that MN, and 16 other states has removed phosphates from dish washing detergent which leaves you looking at the bottom of a plumber under your sink for two weeks and your dishes still aren't getting clean.
Cascade "all in one" is the best dish washing detergent (powder or tablet)at this this time. You could cross the border and smuggle a winter's supply of phosphate dish washing detergent.
This may help with disention among the troops. Peace & good cheer.
plumber from georgia

T & T Livesay said...

Murph -Taking a break from the "rug doctor" carpet cleaning to grant you a prize for most random and fun comment of 2010. Now we know. :) Thanks.

Tina - I know that anon comment is you. BYOC (chips) when you come for Christmas. I won't be sharing mine.

Stephanie-Tom-Chris - Thank you!

Ruth said...

No wise advice, just lots of nodding of my head and understanding what you're saying. Hang in there. We can't wait to have you guys back here.

Anonymous said...

May the Lord give you peace that you don't have to fix everything (and can't) or be everything to everyone...but you just are called to be faithful, serving as it were an "Audience of ONE".

I admire you for giving your lives to God. Tim and I know and understand your feelings. Hang in there and God bless you and keep you and your family close to His loving hands.

Tim and Dar Ratzloff

Casey Zachary said...

Briana and I used to fight about dishes all the time, until we watched this power packed inspirational video that resolved our differences once and for all.

http://www.youtube.com/user/tl7inhaiti#p/u/14/1eCCRieXZpw

skates said...

best of luck with the next few weeks, livesays! i know you can get through it and come out stronger on the other side.

merry christmas and happy new year!

Kathy C. said...

some of us don't have an excuse for packing in the chips....

Amy said...

I'm less than 24 hours away from leaving Haiti for 3 weeks (to spend Christmas with my family, si Dje vle) and what do you know...in the past two days i've consumed unreal amounts of candy and chips too! i finished reading your blog entry, looked over at my pile of starburst wrappers, and just had to comment. we just decorated Christmas cookies with some of our older kids and i'm pretty sure i ate more frosting than they did!

looks like the stress of leaving leads to chip eating both coming and going, haiti and stateside.

that said, i pray God gives you HEAPS of peace and focus in the coming weeks. :)

jake said...

Hey - that phosphate thing is no joke. Kansas has the same problem. We have to add a little of this stuff to each cycle: http://www.finishdishwashing.com/

But we first called in the Maytag guys (they got a piece of our mind).

Instead of taking it out on each other, call in Maytag...they remained calm the whole time. And, we ended up buying a fridge from them, too... So everyone is happy now.

Love you guys.

T & T Livesay said...

The dishwasher fight could have been avoided had Murph shared that insider information sooner. (I'm believing it is a real thing!)

Here is how it went:

Tara - you loaded dirty dishes into the dishwasher when that load was clean and finished - i did that load this morning.

Troy- it didn't look clean

Tara- you could have used some investigative skills to figure it out

Troy - looks at Tara as if he wishes she would leave the face of the earth forever and then the argument began about nothing nothing nothing .... we only pretended it was about the stupid dishwasher.

Mike and Katie said...

No words of advice just three more cute little animals that want to audition for your manger scene.

http://mikeandkatie1.blogspot.com/2010/12/sixteen-below.html

((Hugs to you!)) Merry Christmas!

Loved the dishwasher fun fact. My thirteen-year-old has born the brunt of that issue. Now we just wash most of them by hand and put them in the dishwasher to rinse.

Lindstrom Livesays said...

Do you still make the little ones 'kiss and make up, say they're sorry for being mean to each other'? If you haven't done it already (T & T)...do it....and repeat. :) Remember the saying, too, 'everything's always over'. Take time to 'enjoy' the exciting last few days with everyone!! XXOO

Barb.inthe.South said...

At least your fight was about something as worthy as dishes.....our biggest fight related to moving....was where we would keep the toilet brush in the new house. I mean....really! I think it lasted several days. I won't say who "won." We've done our overseas travelling with only four kids so it's only mildly stressful. Not. Once I was so exhausted that I even spelled our last name wrong with bright ink on our luggage (people did that back in the day). Who spells their name wrong? Then I'm sure when the luggage was in the airplane it reproduced, because there was so much of it when we landed! How did that happen?!
Oh wait! I'm not giving you any encouraging words. Maybe you should keep track of how many pounds of luggage you haul through the years of your missionary career. That statistic ought to be good for something. And "stressed" is "desserts" spelled backwards so I think you're right on track with the chips. You might want to balance it out with those M&Ms that were recommended. Balance is important at this stage! You didn't mention anything about moving out of the house your in and all the cleaning that involves while still trying to keep everyone sane, busy, dressed with things that aren't to be packed, etc, etc. Maybe that is a post for another day. I better quit this post. I'm starting to crave some chips. Blessings on all of you! and yes, thanks for keeping it real!!

T & T said...

Today - Carpets all shampooed and walls touched up with paint where kids colored. They need a place to live until we go so they don't wreck it all again. The Baptists WILL get this house back in tip-top shape even if we (or a child) die trying. They may never invite us back into their awesome free house but they will not be badmouthing the condition we leave it in.

phwtw said...

Hi there, I don't know you all, but I've been reading your blog for a while. Moving is stressful! I used to get butterflies every time I had to go back to college, and it was only an hour away from my parents' house. Good luck with it! --Elizabeth

Lindsay and Ben said...

Your Isaac even has one friend he's never met in Georgia. Our Isaac(6yrs old) asked to pray for "the other Isaac" outta nowhere the other night. We asked, the brown Isaac that lives in Haiti? He said yeah like he's known him for years! :)

Heidi McKnight said...

Some "FUN FACTS" about moving:

One-sixth of all Americans, an estimated 43 million people or 17 percent of the total U.S. population, move each year – that’s more than four times the number of people who visit the famous mouse at a California amusement park each year. (U.S. Census Bureau)

Moving is the third most stressful event in life, following death and divorce. (Employee Relocation Council

Individuals move 11.7 times in their lifetime. (U.S. Census Bureau)

Praying for a wonderful move and new miracles in the New Year! PS. Salt and Vinegar chips rock the house...you can't eat too many or your mouth will get raw!

Amber said...

Okay, okay. Delurking to say that while I'm not friends with Isaac, I'd love to be ;) And I'm sure that your fight with Troy and increased stress aren't at ALL related to attacks from Satan, trying to stop you from all the good you are doing down there... :) Praying that God will stop Satan's attacks on your move!

Rebecca Barlow said...

Oh thank heavens... so glad we're not alone. Not even ready for our move yet, but the household has been getting kind of "weird" with the transition & holidays here. Some days I think it might be easier if it was faster and just over with, but then I'd panic with everything that needs to be done!
Seriously, if you guys do need a place to escape to - we've got an open home policy...lots of space, entertainment & "great outdoors" for the kids! We even have the DFW "drop off" down to an art-form.
You're in our prayers!
T & R

Anonymous said...

Maybe the stress has also taken a toll on your math skills??? If you moved in Dec. 2005, & are moving (well at least preparing/packing) in Dec, 2010, wouldn't the next time be 2015 rather than 2014? I'm just saying....
Course I'm just one of those California crazies!
Paul B.

ManyBlessings said...

Lol! Just love and prayers. And dishwasher soap. :)

Lori said...

Of course you're going to fight about the little, incosequential things: when our older daughter had cancer the first time (long story, she is okay and studying nursing) our social worker told us that in a stressful time of life (and I'd put cancer AND moving back to Haiti at about the same stress level) only 1/10 off arguements are TRULY about the subject at hand, the rest of the time they're just to test your partner's love and commitment to you...and you both know you're both going to pass that 'test'.
Tell Issac I think he is the coolest, most confident kid I know and if he wants to spend a winter snowed in up in Eastern Canada, he has friends in this part of the world to do it with. That kids got North America covered-friendship wise.
And hey, you're surviving Lydia. Speaking from experience, if you can handle (words are failing me here...) a 'challenging' child like her, you can definitely do it all.
(Sorry no potato chip advice--I've been known to have cankers from my salt and vinegar chip addiction, at which time I switch to chocolate covered raisins)

Jon M. said...

"Death by BBQ chips is imminent."

There are worse ways to go. Namely...non-BBQ chips.

Anonymous said...

It's sad to do this to children. They didn't chose this life. Ripping them away from friends to live in that God awful country. What kind of parents would do that?

rachel said...

Livesay Folk,
You guys are amazing. Seriously. I found your blog in January, after the earthquake, and have just fallen in love with you guys, the work you are doing, and your absolutely unashamed pursuit of God, and God's will in your lives. The day school I work with in San Antonio has a partnership with St. Benoit's Episcopal Church and school in Mombin Crochu, and I was just so relieved to be reading what you all were writing in the days and weeks after the quake. And then, I started praying for you guys, in earnest, not just praying for the people you were serving or the people my school and parish were involved with.

You cannot imagine what an encouragement your honesty and your integrity is to me and to so many other people. And regardless of what Anonymous folks will say and think, raising children to not only recognize but RESPOND to the need for love in this broken and dying world is the best give you can give them, outside of the salvation Jesus offers them with Himself.

I'm delurking to tell you that you should try Zapp's barbeque chips...you can find them at HEB. They are amazing. Can't wait to sport my fancy new red shirt at my school!

Peace, love, and lots of napkins,
Rachel Graves

T & T Livesay said...

really really awful ones. Duh!

Kristen {RAGE against the MINIVAN} said...

Hey Anonymous,
You should check your facts, check your theology, and check your spelling. Paige has been dying to get back to Haiti - and how is a country "God-awful"? The Haitian people are God's people, too.

Pam K. said...

Check out this video for a good laugh and stress reliever! It reminds me of your Christmas production!
http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=76WDDWNXhinonn

Anonymous said...

rather shocked at anonymous up there. hoping it was somehow some weird joke? ignore stupid people. love you guys! Shelly

Anonymous said...

Reading your blog has brought back so many memories/emotions of being a Missionary kid and moving back and forth. I haves moved in the US a lot of times but so much harder when leaving the country. I just love the realness/honesty that you live by and not the shush shush of some things that others would never know without it being told. Thanks for keeping Haiti real and in our face. No advice on the chips or dishwater, but Gods blessings on you all! Pennie

Anonymous said...

I meant for me as a kid, it was harder leaving the US because here we tended to feel safer, and in a comfort zone that we had to go "outta the box" to leave. Pennie

The Sexton Crew said...

1. I think the hat in 2005 photo was foreshadowing of your time in Texas. You did this to yourself cowgirl. ;-)

2. Tim took a picture of your dishwasher. I have no idea why -more foreshadowing? If I had read the signs I would've intervened before the fight. Fail. FBing you the pic just because it's so flippin' appropriate and random.

3. "You have a normal ass."

=)

Anonymous said...

Nice blog. Just read thsi post...would go nice for your haiti in the news section CDC's Public Health Matters blog has a feature on Haiti cholera stories i n the field http://blogs.cdc.gov/publichealthmatters/2010/12/haiti-cholera-response-stories-from-the-field/

Pam K. said...

And yet another "social network" view of the birth of Jesus! You guys started a trend!

http://www.ignitermedia.com/mini-movies/1905/A-Social-Network-Christmas

Chris and Britt said...

Dear Anonymous,

As one of the Livesays' children who has transitioned to and from Haiti, I would like to vouch for the fact that the transition from the "god awful country" back to the US was & has been incredibly worse for me than when we moved to Haiti. I never felt ripped away from my US friends --- it's very interesting to me that you feel the need to assert your opinion having never talked to any of us kids about how we feel/felt about moving to/from Haiti.

If it weren't for Haiti & my parents "bringing" us there (which is also inaccurate, since it was and always has been a family decision), I would be a vastly different person. Having just graduated from college yesterday, I've been reflecting on this a lot lately.

Haiti helped me see the world in a way that very few do (or at least it feels that way). It is at once freeing and difficult to have the ability to view life outside of the confining lenses of our own American/Western viewpoints. I say it is difficult because there's just no way you can leave Haiti and not care, unless you perhaps lack a soul. And it is difficult to learn that too few people (Christians and non alike) do care about others long-term.

I found my life calling in Haiti. I can only hope & pray that my siblings can be impacted in a similar way while living on an island that you see as "god awful" but we call home.

Sincerely,
Britt

Kate said...

Haiti is awful & beautiful. Going to Haiti 10 years ago was one of the best things that ever happened to me. It is pure anguish every time I go & every time I come back (& I only go for a week at a time!). I miss Haiti & all my friends there even though I just went in October. Haiti is in my heart.

I don't know you, Livesay Family, but I respect & admire you. I pray for you. Keep working it & rocking it for the Kingdom of God.

& eat whatever you want.

Anonymous said...

Thank you Britt for sharing that. Anonymous comments like that lack so much courage - the kind of courage that *you** have.