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"You say you care about the poor.
Then tell me, what are their names?"
asked Gustavo Gutierrez
The fights people have on line would never happen if they were standing face to face because we're all way more polite, gracious, and non-confrontational in real life. In face to face interaction it rarely happens that if you disagree with someone you jump them with the boldness that happens on line.
All that to say - Bringing up the book, "When Helping Hurts" and writing about Short Term Missions caused a little ruffling of feathers. It wasn't meant to put anyone on the defensive; but it did anyway. C'est la vie. In this case, I think it needs to be said and it was worth the conflict. That post was meant to make us think. It is not actually all about us and what makes us feel good.
Lately I find myself frustrated with some of the problems we create when we come to "help the poor" and that post was born of that frustration. I dislike a lot of what happens between the poor and the people that come to help. I get squirmy and uncomfortable with the 'great white hope' attitude and the Santa Claus stuff that goes on. I don't think there is anything wrong with examining our own motives and asking hard questions about the things we do. I don't have a problem confessing that we've made some jacked up decisions in our time here and that at all costs we'd like to avoid doing dumb and disrespectful things.
I'm struggling a bit with what I perceive as exploitation of people, specifically poor people. I recognize in some of the things we've done over the last six years (especially very early on) a bit of an air of superiority over the poor. I'd go so far as to say that in the past Troy and I have done things that I would now say robbed people of their dignity in that moment. I wish I could go back and undo a few of the things I've done, said, and thought.
I also feel a resentment growing toward others who don't seem to consider the feelings and position of those they come to "help" - nor do they ever allow their approach to be questioned without great offense. Truthfully, I desire to be far more gracious toward the people doing these things and I don't want to resent anyone.
No matter what you've done in the past when on a short or longer term trip abroad - try to be open to this question. I ask that you honestly (without defensiveness) consider this and how you would react to it ...
You are with a friend of yours and a couple of your kids (or if you don't have kids you are watching someone's kids) and you've gone to run a few errands one morning. At Target you notice a woman taking photos of the kids from about 15 yards away. Later, you've stopped at the grocery store and you turn around to see five or six people taking photos of your friend and the kids. That afternoon as you return home you look down your driveway to see someone else standing there taking a photo of your house. You go to bed, the next morning you walk out of your house looking ragged in sweats and an old shirt. As you are walking your dog a truck full of people you've never seen before ride by and they all start snapping your photo.
Yesterday on facebook, out of totally curiosity, I asked this question:
Here are a few of the replies I got in response:
- I really don't know. I think they'd need to ask for permission first, but then they'd need a good reason. If they wanted a picture of clothing I'm wearing, a purse I'm carrying, shoes, etc so they can go home and find the same, then ok. If they have a valid reason maybe. I'm not a mom yet, but I'm pretty sure I won't ever be ok with someone just randomly taking pictures of my children, for any reason.
- That's tough. Normally I would say no, but I'm fine with people who are obviously traveling or when the new refugee families come to our city they want tons of pictures of everyday life stuff (often involving our family) and that doesn't bother me cuz I know it's new and exciting. I definitely wouldn't want to if I wasn't asked though or if it was someone I didn't know at all.
- Do you mean obviously focusing on my family or me? I frequently get people in my photographs that I don't necessarily mean to, but they are there when I snap the pic. But deliberately focusing? I would not really like that. However, what are they planning on doing with it? I would not like to be used in a media sense.
- No! We've had that happen before & I was shocked. I will not let it happen anymore.
- Absolutely NOT, my children are not exhibits and I would not hesitate one bit to let whoever know that taking their pictures without consent is not appreciated.my son s daycare have a very strict policy on that, parents are not allowed to videotape,take pictures on school grounds.
- NO! If you have the responsability of having a camera and want to take shots. You NEED to approach and ask, can I take a picture of your child on the swing for an article. OR for a art show. Otherwise NO!!
- That's a tough one. We are constantly approached here for a "photo" Sometimes I agree sometimes not. I can't even tell you why I make the choice that I do...When we first came I "obliged" now after having our photos taken a gillion times, ...I mostly say no. However, what I do not like is when we are walking and ppl take out their phones and "steal" our photo. Then again, I "steal" photos of random ppl here...so, what to do?
- Well, it is the paparazzi that drives me nuts. I just wish they would stop following me. lol. No, I wouldn't like it. But I did it in Haiti the first time I went and never thought once about my actions. Rude! I was an ignorant tourist the first time for sure!
- definitely not okay...we have the cell phone picture taking issue here too. way too much of a security risk in the country we live. Maybe more of us should think about it before we take pictures of others???
~~~~~~~~
I'm not debating the ability for photos to tell a story and to draw people in. I know that the world saw Haiti after the earthquake and that the images moved people to respond. There are most certainly times where photos tell a story. We ourselves have shared many stories with photos. Troy's book of photos is mainly comprised of people he knows and had permission to photograph. I am not claiming I know where the line is. Obviously within relationships and with permission it is a entirely different ballgame.
I only know that I am terribly uncomfortable with a lot of what happens here and embarrassed that visitors often disrespect the Haitian people. There seems to be a real attitude of entitlement. Almost as if it is the right of the visitor to do whatever they want to/with the poor without regard for how it might make them feel.
We are VISITORS and everything we do says something about our respect for (or lack thereof) the country and people we are visiting. Seriously.
Remember, when you come here for a week you are one of many snapping photos. (The number of groups in and out of Haiti is mind-boggling. Being 700 miles from FL means more teams.) I'm thinking if we all stopped for a moment and thought of how ridiculous this is and put ourselves in their shoes we might find a way to be more respectful.
42 comments:
Tara, I love your heart and your honesty and the way that you make me think about things. Just because we come to "help" doesn't give us a ticket to do whatever we please. Thanks for sharing!
Beautiful post. I can relate to it... When I lived in Hawaii often Asian tourists would ask to have a photo with me, or they would ask to photograph/video my kids. They always asked.
http://iknowwhatweregonnadotoday.blogspot.com/2011/04/things-sing-thursday.html
Tara,
i so believe that, that is why I tried to take pic of buildings ,and trees that kind of thing. I also asked S's birthmom if i could take her pic before i did!
Keep doing what you do!
God Bless,
Rose Anne
Thanks for being willing to make us uncomfortable sometimes. When we're preparing people for our short-term missions, we often refer to things you post. It helps us all to gain perspective.
Just starting reading your blog. I am reading the book When Helping Hurts and have found it extremely mind changing and informative in a positive way. I know what you mean about the photos too. We were just in Ethiopia and I wanted to take pictures of people and capture the moment, but it made me feel like a real jerk so I refrained.
Love your thoughts-thank you. So important.
The defensiveness on the STM post was because people don't like seeing themselves in the problem. It was good. This is good. Thanks for saying it.
Carl
Great post, important topic. Please, keep writing about this. It reaches a lot of people, and I think it reaches the people who need to hear it most.
Rachel
Question: How do you handle this in relation to sharing the very personal stories and photos of the Heartline women on this and other blogs? Do they know their labor and delivery/breastfeeding/pregnancy photos are online? They are powerful stories and photos, and I know they help secure necessary funding to keep doing the work you are doing. Just wondering how you balance that. Thanks for your blog. I love it and appreciate what you are doing with it.
Rachel
Great question Rachel - Beth (director of Womens Program) has talked with the women and frequently addresses this with them.
There is a pretty developed level of trust that is built through week in and week out connections ... the women we work with have given permission for us to share their stories and photos for the purpose of sharing our work and garnering financial support.
We don't surprise them with photos without warning - it doesn't catch them off guard.
If any woman were to refuse photos we would respect that wish.
We have also changed a lot in what we post since we started delivering babies in Sept of 2009 ... much less being posted now of labor/delivery.
The breast feeding thing is not a sensitive topic to the women here, breasts and baring them in this culture - totally different than in the USA.
Taking/sharing photos with permission (and in this case relationship) is key.
Wow, neat blog and family, on so many levels! Thank you for this post also. I can relate to the spontaneous, un-welcomed photo shoots, as I grew up in China (me and my white family!) I can also relate to some of the wakes a short term trip group can leave behind, unintentionally. The Lord can use anything, but it's a good word to keep in mind the needs of others first when heading out on a mission trip "adventure."
Your family is precious! It's neat reading about your life in Haiti. Also your thoughts and experiences related to adoption. We have just begun this journey and appreciate learning from others who have Lived it.
-Patty
I'm glad you posted this. At first I was the take the photo at my own will person, but then as I came back & forth to Haiti I started to see things a little differently. In fact the last two groups I have gone with I felt like I was constantly reminding them that the pictures they were taking were of people and they needed to be respectful. I also saw some of the Haitians getting very upset as some would ignore this and snap away anyway.
THANK YOU FOR THIS POST (and the other one about STMs)!!!!!!!!! I had the opportunity to visit Haiti for the first time last fall with a STM group. We worked every day until about 4:00pm then our LTM would take us 'sight seeing'. I asked our LTM how the Haitians felt about all us blans riding around in our air conditioned buses snapping pictures constantly like they were some kind of freaks from outer space. They didn't know we worked all morning or were there to help, they just saw us out riding around like jerks snapping pictures. I knew how I would feel if I were in their shoes and he assured us they were ok with it b/c they knew if we were blans in Haiti we were there to help, but I still felt uncomfortable about it and everyone in my group thought I was crazy for even thinking that. Afterall, we were there helping them so they owed us at least a few pictures to take home as souvenirs. We weren't hurting anyone. Just because they are poorer than us or live different from us, we need to remember they are human too with the same feelings and emotions we have. They aren't freaks on display at the zoo. THANK YOU!!!
Tara, thank you for your continued insight into things. Your post on Short Term Missions came at a most opportune time for this family. My daughter just completed her first year of college and is getting ready to go on her first 9-week mission trip this summer. I felt extremely blessed to be able to share your thoughts and experiences with her. Thank you.
Tara, the air of "the great white hope" does seem to pervade more at times with otherwise well meaning people. I had a similar instance on one of my trips last year. We were visiting a young woman who we had assisted with emergent medical care during her labor and delivery the trip prior. The Haitian leader had asked permission to enter her home as we were evaluating it for an expansion to accomodate the 15 people living in the 2 room home. As so many Haitian do, they graciously allowed us in but I was at no time comfortable with the setting.
I tried to imagine if a group of people of another ethnicity walked up to a trailer in rural Alabama and requested to enter and proceeded to do so.
Umm....doubtful the welcome would've as gracious as our Haitian hosts.
Something to remember...it also really upsets when there is a lot of picture snapping of my patients while I'm doing clinics there. Sometimes there are special circumstances of rare things that can be requested permission and discretely documented but that isn't how many handle it. So you can add to your thoughts would you like someone taking pics of your sick children?
Through His grace and mercies,
Jenny Chapman
In chorus with the other commenters, I thank you for your honesty and your willingness to share your thoughts and open our eyes...I am just weeks away from traveling your direction with plans to spend a month in port au prince...hoping to capture the beauty and love of this place you call home. I hope to share my experience with others in a way that is respectful...thanks for your insight.
Wow, I hadn't ever thought about that. On some trips I've worked alongside families and developed relationships and taken photos as we've worked together. Other times I've taken photos as we've been in the community and never even thought about the fact I'd be invading their privacy. Thanks for asking hard but needed questions.
brings to mind how we do not value the fact that putting any other child but your own up on your facebook is a breech of privacy in my opinion. My child's preschool teacher recently became my "friend" on facebook. And there I saw pictures of my child posted all over her wall. My photos are only for friends to see yet she had taking pictures of her at school and put them up on her facebook... I see this alot and see folks even selling photos of children from Haiti and I wonder how much they send back to the child's parent. You bring up VERY good points! Thanks for putting your neck out!!!
Great post.....thank you once again for making us think about our actions while serving others. My first trip to Haiti I took lots of pictures (with permission). It was in order to visually tell the story of the Haitian people to my church and others. The next trip to Haiti, I didn't even take my camera.....
Hi Tara :)
Thanks for the way you make us think. I think it's great to challenge us about the things we do when we are out of our own culture. I know when I lived in Japan I took pictures with a powerful zoom lense - I'm sure the people were not aware I photograped them (and I didn't ask their permission), but the pictures were never posted anywere. My actions were definitely not the mose sensitive to the culture. I expect that the folks in Haiti probably have no idea how photos of their lives might be posted or shared. I'm thankful for that.
Bev
Please don't stop writing these things that *need* to be said (though unfortunately those who need to hear the message might be the least open to doing so).
I feel as you do, and have tried to be respectful when taking photos (or avoided taking pics of faces, esp. children) especially when I am the outsider.
One interesting approach - I was in Nepal a few years ago (on a trekking trip, not STM) and the local communities were obviously used to (and not in a good way) outsiders walking through their towns, taking pictures of their kids, etc and would decline if asked. My aunt had brought along a small photo-printer (with a rechargeable battery!) and printed out pics for the few who'd agreed to have pictures taken ... and soon we had lineups (porters, guesthouse staff, families and their kids) requesting photos (almost drove our guide, and speedier members of our group, nuts!), and as such I took more people-pics than I normally would have done. A few we printed a few hours (or days) after seeing them, and tracked down the families to share the prints, and they were just so thrilled to have them. I've also chosen to limit those photos to friends-only when sharing online. I feel as though this approach respected the dignity/privacy of the local residents, and hope they would agree.
I've run across something that I find very disturbing. A man spoke at my mom's church awhile back. He was trying to raise money for his Haiti "feeding program". My mom told me all about it so I went to his website to watch the same videos he had presented to the church (and lots of other churches). In the videos he shows the "feeding program" in action. Rice and beans are delivered in bags to adults who scramble for it. Children are given prepared food and all the while the guy is in the foreground saying things like "Yeah, see, just look at them go at it! Some of these kids haven't eaten for days." I know that the man is trying so hard to help but clearly he's not heard of "When Helping Hurts". Videoing people in such a vulnerable state, even in an effort to help them, seems terribly disrespectful.
So sorry you're getting negative feedback. Don't stop saying the things that do the most good.
With love,
Lora
I've just started reading "When Helping Hurts" after returning from my second short term trip to Haiti. The people at organization I was visiting were all reading the book and recommended it to us. And your post on short term trips? I sent the link to my whole team before we left because I think it is such an important message to keep in mind.
The issue of photography is such a challenge for me. I love taking pictures, and I think it is important to some degree to be able to tell the story to people at home. But I would never take a picture without permission, and even then something just felt wrong about it on this trip.
I have the book ready to go with us when we head out on a road trip to take our son to the specialist. You give me food for thought and I'm really glad - even when the end result is *ouch*. :) Keep it up! I need it.
Dear Tara,
you've done it again! Very eloquently put into words what I feel very strongly about. I couldn't agree with you more. It drives me crazy when I see visitors in Haiti just snapping away with no respect for people's privacy. Living in a tent city does not mean you have become an object and your dignity can be trampled on. Frankly, I am probably even less gracious about situations like that than you. On my last trip I was speaking to a family living in a transitional shelter and got literally shoved out of the way - mid conversation - by the photographer of one of the mission groups that had financed quite a number of the shelters. Believe me, I was most ungracious to him after that!!
Keep the honest blogs coming, I love them!
Alexandra
I was very uncomfortable with shooting photos of people when I was in Haiti, but I also struggled because I wanted to be able to come back and share my story of Haiti...and the wonderful people I met. It was a lot easier to ask permission of those I got to know, but not so much of the vendors and the markets. I have lots of photos with few people in them.
I wonder, Tara, if you think the idea of bringing a photo-printer is a good one. Many of the kids in the rural places we worked wanted their pictures taken, because they then wanted to view their pictures afterwards. I can see how that might be a gift to their parents and families, or if that is disrespectful or exploitative in its own way.
I like what you are writing Tara. I may end up in the missionary field after I am done with this PhD, and your thoughts are helpful. If I don't end up as a full time missionary I hope I'll have the opportunity to go help short term some place.
I do have an experience - working with my dear friends at our local saturday market. Their kids are really cute and they help out at the produce booth. People like taking their pictures. I do not like it when people come up and randomly take pictures of them. I try to stop it and then have their mother or father give permission when I can. Permission is usually given, but I think it's important to get it and to make people think. These kids are working at the market to teach them skills, not to be on display. Yes, they are cute, but people taking their pictures don't know them. I find myself fearful of how the pictures will be used.
So, with that in mind, I think your point is very important. We take pictures on vacation, on trips, of people. We need to be respectful when we do, and not just with pictures but any sort of thing that involves interacting with another person.
Thank you.
I can only speak from my own experience in Ghana (three of my kids are adopted from there and we lived there for a LONG time trying to get them out). People there wanted me to take pics, wanted me to share their story on the internet and wanted me to ask everyone I knew to help them (especially the Liberian/Congan refugees). I took pics of the kids at the orphanage that wanted me to. If they never asked, I didn't take their picture.
Use your common sense. When trying to solicit funds for any of the projects we were doing over there, I shared pictures. Really, who's going to donate if they don't see any pictures?
--Becky
Thanks for this post as well as the STM post. Loved them both. I've recently been invited to join a cleft-palate missions group that performs surgeries in various underserved communities around the world. What they do is tremendous, but I've been grappling with these issues lately. It's so good to hear from someone like you who does this day in and day our. God has already used you as a vehicle through which to bless me and bring these things to light for others stepping into these callings. You will never know how far reaching your work is.
Tara--I loved that post. I think that we DO have an attitude of entitlement, or maybe just self-centeredness, and it is NOT a godly way to go about the "Lord's work."
It reminds me a little bit of one of my husband's favorite books: God of the Empty-Handed. Have you read it? The real question is, I think, whether we have come to serve in missions as empty-handed people clinging to His grace and pointing to Him--OR--as people with hands full wanting to show his grace on our terms--which isn't his grace at all!
I usually don't comment here, but I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate how you and Troy strive to have the eyes of Jesus as you look around you. May He bless your labors for him!
(And so often, the hardest part of extending grace is doing so to the people who are where we used to be, isn't it? I often forget that my heart-growth didn't happen through a lecture, but through his gentle hands molding my heart. I can't force someone to change any more than they can be the one to "fix" poverty.)
Thank you for the thoughtful way you live!
When I went to go visit my son at his orphanage, I was very careful not to take pictures of people if I couldn't ask their permission. i am glad I have some beautiful pictures of the land at his orphanage but I do wish I had more pictures of Haiti. My son came home after the earthquake and he was only 2 so he doesn't really remember.
Anyway, I completely agree that people should not take pictures without permission. The other thing that bugs me is that so very many people approach us when we are out. Granted, he is a cute and charming little boy but it is waaaaaaay out of my comfort zone to talk to strangers. I think part of it is God's way of pushing me:) My son is doing wonderfully and I'm very thrilled to be a mom.
I have been reading and recommending Helping without Hurting every time I speak about our trip last fall. We learned VERY quickly about "right and wrong" way to distribute the dresses we had brought. Thank heavens for Peter coming to the rescue on more than one occasion. In the end it was so much better for us to leave the garments with the pastors, clinics, teachers, WWV staff and let them distribute them. But it was also very heartfelt for us the STM to be able to engage with some of the small groups and to photograph the young girls and share those with seamstresses and supporters back home. Most of the parents were willing to have their children photographed so I felt comfortable.
Reflecting on this experience to other trips I took way less photos, this time more that were on a personal level for me rather than so many random shots. I think part of that is due to the fact that Troy and the Heartline and RHFH post updated photos and it fills the need for me, they don't have to be my own shots anymore.
hey tara....samuel is real me carol h.
Thank you for this post! I have been on a a few short term mission trips and never though of my actions this way. We were always told that it's best to get permission first and I can say that most of my pictures were taken with permission, but this post really opened my eyes. I'll be sure to share this with any other teams I join in the future. Thank you for loving the people of Haiti and making their voices heard! God Bless!
I had never considered how angry it would make me if someone snapped photos driving by me. I did that in two countries last year. Thanks for making me think. I agree there is a way to do it respectfully and that we may need to give up some of our photo taking in order to be truly respectful.
Amen! nothing much more to say. Thank you for posting and encouraging others to think critically about their role in the developing world, the importance of humility and human dignity. Much love!
great post Tara.
Great post, Tara! I am also glad you said it!
May I repost it on my blog?
Hugs and prayers to you and your tribe!
Colleen
Yes, of course Colleen. It is an old post but I reposted it today because I saw something that made me sad/mad and was reminded of how obnoxiously entitled we can be sometimes. Grrrrrr.
Tara I think I got annoyed when you 1st wrote about mission teams, more out of exasperation of "what do you want from me?" BUT you said "READ the the book I suggested" (Book is "When Helping Hurts") And I also read "Boundaries". I have to admit I am still frustrated BUT I have more information. I think what you said about supporting the long term missions and leaning into their guidance is he best starting point. Personally I don't know if I will ever return to Haiti, but I know where to put my dollars into what is the most effective routes. $1500 to pass out Am. made peanut butter so I feel good vs. $1500 donated to help purchase and ultrasound for a prenatal center? For me the choice is easy. I'll be the 1st to admit I'm frustrated- but humans need to follow the rule of medicine- "First do no harm". I NOW appreciate (and didn't necessarily like it at the time) what you had to say. James is my favorite book of the Bible because he tells me what I need to hear. You have to be patient with us, but don't quit saying it. An old favorite nurse I worked with used to say "I'm not gonna give you what you want- I'm going to give you what you need!" (She said it to all levels MD to patient) We need more of that.
Oh and FYI When my mother-in-law went to China she is cute and small for some reason the locals kept standing by her n the pictures. She became the "photographed thing". It is hilarious to hear her take on it. Keep up the good work. (And THANK YOU!)
As usual, beautifully written and food for thought.
I have always felt uncomfortable taking photos of people without permission, and when I have done it I've felt guilty.
I'm sure that that is something that you have to deal with a lot, and it can be very insensitive. Kudos to you for being upfront about this, and I love how you began the post the way you did, as if people were following us into Target, etc and snapping away. Never thought of it like that.
Thanks for posting this Tara,
This is something I've been thinking a lot about. I first started to really think about this once I had my own babies. I had the reverse happen to me at church where Haitians were starting to take pictures of my boys with their phones. It made me mad because 1. I didn't know them 2. they didn't ask. and 3. it felt violating. I've also had the flipped experience where people have seen my children and picked them up and started kissing them without asking me... That really got me mad, then got me thinking. It was like a light went on DUH! If I feel this way as a mother I'm sure ALL mothers (rich or poor) feels this way.
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