A.) Be disgusted
B.) Be entertained
or
C.) Both
(Key at bottom of post - see it first.)
I document this as my way of purging it once and for all.+
Okay. I said on Thursday night that when Troy leaves things tend to go wrong. Call it dumb luck, call it the devil, call it what you may. I call it sucky.
Shortly after I published my semi-jokish post about things that can happen when he leaves I was finishing up some work at my desk when I heard gagging and puking sounds coming from my bed. Noah sleeps with me when Troy is gone and he had quickly come down with what we believe is Malaria and was puking and 104 degrees. I got no chuckles out of that one. I wrote to Dokte Jen and called Beth crying and attempted not to lose my marbles*.
Since then, this little man has been in my bed many hours and has been creating massive laundry. The poor guy.

(photo taken this morning - on his 14th straight hour of sleep)Shortly after I published my semi-jokish post about things that can happen when he leaves I was finishing up some work at my desk when I heard gagging and puking sounds coming from my bed. Noah sleeps with me when Troy is gone and he had quickly come down with what we believe is Malaria and was puking and 104 degrees. I got no chuckles out of that one. I wrote to Dokte Jen and called Beth crying and attempted not to lose my marbles*.
Since then, this little man has been in my bed many hours and has been creating massive laundry. The poor guy.
With no man in the house, this is our current security situation at the gate # - Impressed? I know that a twist-tie makes me feel very secure.*
I put the plunger in the bathtub once I was done with it, I then saw a piece of (brownish) corn sitting in the bathtub. I began to wonder if anything grosser has ever occurred? <>
This is what has happened twice since Troy left the country:
Our 1115 pound living, breathing dog smells worse than most dead dogs. I cannot take it any longer. I gave her a bath a few hours ago. <> If it is not resolved after that bath ... well then ... she must go*. Who wants her?
There is more ... but I think I will stop there*.
Friday afternoon I really wanted to be with sick Noah and Birthday boy Isaac. But I had made a commitment that could not be broken so we went to visit a beautiful mothers who is about to have a home delivery and get ready for that big event. It took many hours and I missed my boys (and girls) the entire time. When I got home we tried to make it up to Isaac by making cake, brownies, and pizza.+ The pizza had sliced processed cheese on it. <>
The store was out of real Mozzarella#. It was very very not yummy. # Isaac was gracious and we just had cake for dinner. The cake was totally under-baked and soupy and Isaac was gracious again.+ The ice-cream was perfect and worth all $12.00+.
Meanwhile Noah is not getting better very fast - although his high fevers have stopped+. He is tired, having tummy problems (that equal clean-up by an adult) <> and feverish. I have been attempting to watch as many Looney Tunes cartoons as he is requesting that I watch. It has been so fun - Porky Pig is my fave*!
Jeronne had to leave this morning, in the middle of total chaos, because her daughter is also sick. :(
But ... I finally fixed that toilet+.
By.Myself.
THANKYOUVERYMUCH. <>
KEY
* a lie
+ a small victory
# my failure (or maybe Troy's)
<> gag
* a lie
+ a small victory
# my failure (or maybe Troy's)
<> gag
Message to my husband:
I love you Troy. I miss you. I am glad you are being given a chance to share your life experiences and your faith with old and new friends in Michigan. + This dumb luck / devil / total suck-age does not change that. I unplugged a toilet by myself.+ Not sure if I mentioned that part.* :) Oh, and Tipap came and fixed the refrigerator.+ And I won't really give Peanut away. But I will not save any ice-cream for you.+ Have fun and enjoy your hot showers while you can. Tout bagay dako la. (Everything is okay here.)
21 comments:
Oh. My. Word.
I feel like our last name should be "murphy" and not livesay. ugh.
I love you. You rock the house, mom.
Had to read this over several times... it became much more meaningful once I saw the 'key' at the end! You're like Wonder Woman!! (Do the kids even know who she is?) Hang in there! XXOO KL
Ohhhhh, Tara. Stop exaggerating.* It's not that bad.*
Erin
or option D.) slightly disgusted. entertained. very sorry that things are sucky. and wish i was there with you.
that gate lock IS failure. who do i blame?
Oh, bless your heart. Praying for things to improve. When does Troy get back? Things should be just about right by the time he gets back.
Amy(TN)
p.s. My "word verification" is "phogy". I find these quite funny.
Oh yeah. How did the door come off the refrigerator?
Amy(TN)
Britt-Karen-Erin -
Thank you - was it the toilet that impressed you? (E - you understood the key very well.) :)
Anon-
I call security Troy's department. Not sure if he agrees with me. That would make it his failure.
Amy-
Someone that shall go unnamed but her name rhymes with Bee-Bee might have had something to do with it. Troy gets back Monday night ... unless he is hospitalized with swine flu in Michigan.
B. Entertained
I will pray Troy avoids Swine Flu.
You are amazing! Not to make light of your situation, but I DID think the brownish corn was very funny. Call me sick. BTW, my verification word is fecel, but I think someone meant for it to be fecal.
Gads!
Oh my. That would have thrown Marry Poppins out of track.
I hope all will be better soon.
I'm laughing with you, not at you.*
Great post Tara, I am entertained and a little disgusted, but I laughed out loud. Prayers for Noah to be all better very soon. -Rhonda
I really have NO words....... Pictures say it all. Troy will be home tomorrow!! Thanks for letting us have him for a few days!! He rocked the house this weekend!!!
I see what I have in store for when Nate is in Haiti in January. Last year was the awful. Praying for you!
ps. You are an awesome plumber!
LOVE THE KEY!!!!!!!!!!!
oh my. i think you should have this key on the sidebar at all times and use it whenever the spirit moves you. it really does add quite a bit to what you're saying. i especially like the lie indicator. i'm pretty sure that will keep you out of hell. :)
tara at the judgment seat speaking to st. peter:
"yes, technically those were lies, but didn't you notice the green star beside them? a lie isn't really a lie if you confess at the same time, is it? lighten up dude."
If you really get sick of Porky Pig, I recommend Elmo's "Work Out in a Chair." You can NEVER get enough of that one!
loved it. BUT I think we just trumped your toilet incident-think unexpected salmonella results all over bed, strategically placed in hallway and "splattered" all over bathroom. gross. We won't tell anyone it's from good old fashioned cookie dough nibbling. Lesson learned - when buying a new mattress for a COMPLETELY potty trained child - always remember that COMPLETELY will someday become a relevant term - ALWAYS spend the $50 on that perfect mattress protector! It's 1:38am and from the stench, I'm up for the day.
. . . cookie dough anyone?
So Sorry about your whole stinky situation-literally stinky! I do hope Noah feels better soon, Troy gets home soon, the dog quits smelling, and Isaac can had a good Birthday in spite of it all.
I do have a question for you and anyone else out there in blog land-WHY does poo and vomit always have corn in it??
Just asking...
LeAnne
No joke. I was sitting here reading your post about everything going wrong and laughing because it seems that happens to me when my husband travels, when I hear my 11 year old son in the bathroom hurling. The god's of comedy love to throw karma in my face everytime I laugh at (with) others. North Dakota is not riddled with Malaria, but it does have its share of strep now. Time will tell how funny this story gets if the rest of us get it...and my husband is out of town!!
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