Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Gran Sophia


We recently learned that Sophia's Grandmother passed away.

For those that began reading a long time ago, you may remember that Sophia's mother died shortly after giving birth to her and that her grandmother took care of her from birth. We met them in 2006 when Sophia was malnourished and ill and her grandmother came looking for help for Sophie.

This woman probably didn't have much of a funeral to speak of (it took place while we were on vacation) and it is possible that she left behind almost no tangible evidence of her life in the form of earthly possessions.  However, she did leave behind a well-loved grand-daughter and we wanted to take notice of her passing and take a moment to say that she touched our lives.  We were inspired by her endurance. We were encouraged by her love for Sophia. She lived a life that spoke volumes to us.


2006


2009


Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Slow me down




Song: By Robbie Seay

Our prayer as we begin 2012 is exactly this. 
(Troy has declared this our 2012 theme song.)

 Slow us down Lord, slow us down. 

 Help my heart to hear your sound.

Speak into my life Lord speak now.

Slow me down oh Lord, slow me down.

Clear my mind. Bring me peace that I cannot find.

Take my worthy thoughts, break my pride.

Clear my mind, oh Lord, clear my mind.

Wake my soul oh Lord, wake my soul...

  .... Of this life called mine, take control. 

There are so many things we cannot control. Haiti brings a fresh intense adventure almost every week. Things change fast. We cannot slow down that aspect of our lives.  We need desperately to be constantly sensitive and open to what God may have for us in any given unpredictable situation.

Our kids are our greatest joy in life. They are at such fun ages, every last one of them. We cannot control how fast they are growing or slow them down very easily. Try as we may they cannot be convinced to dial it back a little bit and stay right where they are for the sake of their parents' happiness. We beseech Him to help our hearts hear His sound regarding our precious little people.

We're entering into new things this year - it is difficult to "slow down" as we are starting new things and taking on new tasks.  When we're honest we admit fear sometimes creeps in surrounding the new and unknown. We pray He clears our minds and brings peace we cannot always find.

We have realized that we are people that struggle to slow down much of the time.  We're cognizant that our busy, busy, busy keeps us from really listening and communing with God.

We're asking Him, "slow us down Lord, slow us down".   

As we talked about these things during our vacation, we realized that something has to give if we're ever going to truly be able to slow down and allow our hearts to hear His sound.  The noise and the busy and the kids and the needs around us ... All of it threatens to drown out His voice, to muffle His presence in our lives.


We're working on some ways to create space and do better, to slow down in an intentional way.  Mostly we know slowing down has to happen in our heads and hearts first.

One thing we've come to realize is that we desperately need to reduce the amount of time we spend on on-line correspondence.

We love being able to keep up with friends via facebook. Knowing what my friends are up to makes me feel closer to them even though many miles separate us. I love the connection to them. We enjoy making new connections and building relationships (however authentic they can be when only on-line which is debatable) and meeting new people through correspondence surrounding the topic of Haiti.

All of that remains true, but we can't spend as much time entering into those activities if we truly want to slow down.  We spend way too much time on those things. It is filling our lives with noise and keeping us from slowing down. We sometimes (okay, almost always for me) give high priority to answering inquiries we receive via email and facebook message.  I have always felt like it is my duty to answer any and all messages.  I'm not sure that is actually true.  I think maybe some twisted pride is what leads me to see it that way. The  truth is many times I have chosen to answer the questions of a stranger about Haiti or some other random topic over doing things that are so much more important. I've prioritized incorrectly.

This is the apology in advance for the emails I don't and won't be able to answer.  In the coming weeks and months we are going to try to add to the 'frequently asked questions'.  Over time hopefully we can address many of the emailed questions here on the blog.  I'm allowing a small amount of time each day for correspondence, what I cannot finish won't be allowed to nag me or plague me anymore.  I'm slowing down. For my spiritual health and for my family I need to do this.

When I asked Troy after a long unpredictable Monday,  "How do we actually do this? Slowing down feels impossible.",  he said "It has to be our state of mind first."

I'm not thinking we're alone in struggling to figure out how to balance things well. I'm sure I'm not the only person spending more time than I think is healthy on the internet. I am hopeful that these words of Robbie's song can become a constant prayer of ours this year and that we succeed at making change that allow for our hearts to frequently hear His sound.



Slow me down Lord, slow me down 
Help my heart to hear your sound 
Speak into my life speak now

Monday, January 09, 2012

Kerline & an update

*5:30 PM update - baby girl named Ann (6lbs 15ounces) arrived a while ago. Mom and baby are doing okay but will need to stay for a week of IV meds due to infection risks. Thank you for your prayers.
This morning (Monday) Kerline is in labor. She is a first time Mom (36 yrs old). She is doing well and laboring courageously.  Kerline's mother (a mom of 7 herself - Kerline is her second child) and her sister in law are supporting her this morning.

She (and we) appreciate(s) your prayers today.

We will update the list of the ladies that are due sometime soon.  If you've been following the ladies closely, these ladies all delivered healthy boys in the last week and a half:

Dieumatha - 7lb 10 ounce baby boy on 1/1/12
Lovely- 7lb 2 ounce baby boy on 1/3/12
Djennie- 5lb 8 ounce baby boy on 1/4/12
Samide- 7lb 2 ounce baby boy on 1/4/12
Igemene- 7lb 9 once baby boy on 1/6/12

Infections in mom and baby in the first weeks are more likely in Haiti due to their living conditions and can be incredibly dangerous. Please pray for all five of these new moms and their sons.  Prayers for protection from germs and infection and for family support as they establish breast-feeding are needed.

We are blessed beyond measure to have friends near and far willing to support the women in prayer.


THANK YOU!

The goal of every branch of Heartline's Womens Programs is to love,  elevate, and respect the women we serve.  The way many women around the world are treated during this life-changing event is heartbreaking.  We are grateful to be able to offer loving, quality care. We're thankful to those of you that help make our program(s) possible. 

Saturday, January 07, 2012

Eight Reunited

It was a blast having all the kids in one place.  The little ones are pretty fond of the big ones.  It was such a great way to start our year.  Britt and Chris are safely back in Tejas ready to take on semester number two of grad school.

When asked "What was your favorite thing about the vacation?"

Paige - "Beach and everything except for my homework."

Lydia-  "Being at the restaurant beach and tripping and hurting my knee."  (what tha?)

Phoebe- "The food and the playing in the grass and the hugging."

Isaac - "The paradise and the fun stuff we did."

Hope- "That Brittany and Chris were here."

Noah- "Meeting the neighbors and finding hermit crabs."

When we said goodbye to Jude, our new Haitian friend, he gave a long speech about how he wants us to come back next year and really loved watching our kids/family and getting to know us.  I am ratting Troy out for having tiny little tears in his eyes after that conversation ended. :)  (I am certain Jude loved getting to speak Kreyol. That had to play into our popularity with him.)

The more entertaining things was that Jude said, "I just thought of something. I haven't talked to my brother in more than a year. Can you tell him that I have land I can buy but I haven't yet touched my money.  Can you tell him that?"

Troy said, "Sure.  I can tell him that.  Do you have a phone number for him?"

Jude said, "That's the problem. I don't have a number for him."  Then he told Troy his brother's full name, and that his brother is in Port au Prince.

Troy looked at him blankly.

(Long pause)

Jude went on to say, "That's going to be hard isn't it?"

:)  We'll find out I guess!


Thursday, January 05, 2012




How lovely on the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who announces peace, and brings good news of happiness, Who announces salvation, And says to Zion, "Your God reigns!"   
Isaiah 52:7 


Wednesday, January 04, 2012

So far so bueno .... famous last words

When one finds one self in a Spanish speaking country bordering a French and Kreyol speaking country on a rainy day, what does one do to add a little pizazz to their life?

I'll tell you what one does.

It's really quite simple actually.

One travels to a gargantuan furniture store born in Agunnaryd, Sweden thanks to the courage of one Ingvar Kamprad.  That's what one does.  Of course.

Because: like they say, "at IKEA our vision is to create a better everyday life for the many people."

And who doesn't want a better everyday life for themselves and the many people?
I mean really. Who?


So that's what we did.  We drove into Santo Domingo in search of a better everyday life with Paige and Hope. (Everyone else stayed back at the house to have their regular everyday lives.) We walked aimlessly around the giant Swedish furniture store with our glazed eyes and racing hearts.  The escalators alone were enough to intimidate fools of our variety.

About 60 minutes into the adventure we agreed that our lives weren't so much feeling "better" as they were feeling sort of odd and random. Instead we were overwhelmed by the vastness of the store and the complexity of the choices and our inability to read Spanish signs.  The singular item I wanted to look at was bedding for Hope's bed.  It took all of our energy and brain power combined to locate that section and quickly determine they didn't have what we had in mind.


In addition to visiting the biggest and most overwhelming Swedish furniture store in the history of the universe, we also visited a more comfortable, predictable, small, and familiar store. Payless sells poorly made hoochie platform shoes world-wide people!

On our trip toward home, during a self-congratulatory moment Troy said, "So far so bueno".  As not to leave him hanging out there congratulating himself all by his lonesome, I said "good job getting us here honey!" ("You are a courageous warrior!!!" was implied.) Approximately fourteen seconds later I heard him say in a voice of urgency,  "you better pray".  I looked up from what I was reading to see a friendly Dominican officer approaching the driver window.

As it turns out our poorly thought out escapades didn't cease upon our arrival to the D.R.
Stupidity runs deep in these here parts.

From Facebook:

Dominican Republic police stop .... no passports on us ... we are idiots. (Only by grace were we just allowed to leave with Hope - we cannot prove she is ours w/out passports.) There is no one dumber than us. Period. End of story.
 ·  · 2 hours ago near Juan Dolio, San Pedro De Macoris

So when the officer asked for passports and Troy could not produce all four of them because three of them were still at the house 25 miles away, we used google translate (this happens verrrrry slowly mind-you) on the iphone to tell the officer that Hope was/is adopted and that we don't speak Spanish.  As in nada on the español (well, except for nada I mean).  He seemed unimpressed. 

While he walked a circle around our car trying to decide what to do with us, we prayed.  For approximately five minutes we were wondering how Britt and Chris could come bail us out of the clink without a vehicle or phones we could call them on to beg for their help.  

When we drove off we checked our pants for poo and thanked God for the merciful officer and google translate.  

It seems like there was a lesson to be learned in all of this.  Maybe "stop being morons" or "act like you know something" or just "carry your passport in a foreign land when your children don't match you." 

We've discussed it at length and we are feeling fairly certain that yes, indeed - it has got to be one of those.

We've been aware the entire time we've been here that a family like ours is a bit unusual.  Between the curious looks and the questions from fellow-vacationers we're learning that what we have going is not such a normal thing in the Dominican Republic.  "Are these children yours?" has been a frequently posed question.  (Fair enough question.)

Haitians don't have high social status in the D.R.  There are organizations and brave people fighting to change that, but the fact is, Haitians are often treated poorly here.  I admit that knowing that the other vacationers could be thinking we use our Haitian kids as "house help" has made for multiple occasions where-in I had to force myself not to do something super obnoxious to prove that is not the case.  I mean, asking Lydia and Noah and Paige to fan Isaac, Hope and Phoebe and massage their feet while feeding them grapes poolside for hours could cause some trouble among siblings.  Possibly.  The only other idea I had was to yell "I love you ISAAC - like SO SO MUCH"  & "I love you HOPE!"  loudly across the lawn while the Dominican neighbors looked on and felt guilt for judging our intentions.  "Oh - for shame on us, they really love those kids" they'd whisper to one another.

It will soon be time to head home.  We're blessed beyond measure to have been given this opportunity to exhibit our naiveté and poor planning skills ... And to enjoy time as a family.  

We're hearing from Haiti that in just four days FOUR baby boys have been born to moms in the prenatal program.  We're hearing the Harbor House gals have almost all returned from seeing their extended families for the New Year and Independence Day celebrations.  We're worrying slightly about the two that haven't. We're happy to have learned we miss that place and those people by about day seven. 

Most of all, we're excited to get across the border where things are more familiar and life is what we expect it to be .... An adventure. 

On love ...


Tuesday, January 03, 2012

Friday, December 30, 2011

2011: The highs, the lows, the laughs, & the tears

photo of the year ?

January 2011:  
  • Our family returns together to Haiti on January 1 after many months away completing Phoebe's adoption. (Thanks to the amazing help of one Joanna T!)
  • The Harbor House is officially named, replacing the ever so creative name "House for teen moms". 
  • The 1st anniversary of the earthquake - a day to grieve and remember together

January 12, 2011

February 2011:
Enisse & Sophia

Lucille & Sarah
    Paige & Auntie Tina March 2011
    March 2011:
    • Paige gets rid of her braces, Paige deals with MRSA
    • Fedline gives birth to Michlanda, a week later she moved into the Harbor House
    • Sundays - I have to believe
    Joanne & Ricardo
    April 2011:
    Dalonne & Job
    May 2011:
    June 2011:
    Judler  & Leoni June 10th
    July 2011:
    Paige & Julia
    August 2011:


    September 2011:
    Troy, Aaron, Harold - Bromance triangle
    Jimmy & Becky and their students

    three new babies in a few days at Harbor House

    October 2011:
    McHoul wedding
    November 2011:
    Mama E. laboring w/ Cookie, Beth, Heather
    Dedication day for Harbor House babies
    December 2011:
    Christmas Eve
    Juan Dolio, Dominican Republic


    standing IN the ocean listening for the ocean in a seashell 


    Going through the year in photos and stories reminded us of how faithful God is. To see it all in black and white and look back on the ways He sustained and provided is both beautiful and humbling.  2011 was one of the best years we've ever had in Haiti. We're so grateful for the ways God has allowed us to grow and for so much evidence of His love and mercy at work.

    Multiple stories and people touched our lives, challenged us, changed us this year.


    What story or person moved you in some way? We'd love to know.

    With gratitude to God for the year that was and best wishes for a Happy New Year!

    t & t & tribe

    Wednesday, December 28, 2011

    road tripping for morons


    When we made our plan to road trip to Santo Domingo we thought through about 1/8th of the logistics.  In our defense we had some inaccurate information.  Even so, we should probably have our parenting honor badges revoked.

    The good news is:  We made it. We are here!

    The other news is:  Troy and Tara separately experienced inordinately high levels of stress during the process of moving their children across the island.  All of the things they’d neglected to think of smacked them upside the head repeatedly throughout the day. Troy learned that a Port au Prince to Santo Domingo road trip is not exactly like going from Minneapolis to Omaha or Waco to South Padre.  Who knew?!?! Troy and Tara are not that smart.  Troy and Tara will no longer refer to themselves in the third person.

    Neither of us spoke our fears out loud to one another until we were safely to the house. 

    Let us just say that driving our kids across totally unfamiliar and unknown roads, without sufficient food or water, without language skills or a telephone signal or internet or any idea what we would do if our car decided not to work seemed like a really bad idea once we were in the act of doing just that.  Add in the six or seven police and military checkpoints without the ability to verbally communicate, power steering that acted up, and kids that were a little bit nervous and a lot bit hungry and you’ve got a stressful seven to eight hour period.

    We left our house around 9am.  We took care of a few Harbor House errands, we went to the gas station about ½ mile from our house to exchange gourdes for pesos and fill up the gas tank.  As we pulled into the gas station near our home Lydia said, “Is dis da beach house?”  We’re worried about the child, not gonna lie. 

    We did some significant road-travel in 2010 with the kids, but other than that odd post earthquake situation our kids have gone on very few road trips.  To them a road trip is seven miles to church that takes an hour and ten minutes.  It was fun to listen to all their observations. Along the way there was always interesting conversation in the back row:

    ISAAC:  “This sure is beautiful. Back in history I guess Haiti was really rich on sugar cane and tobacco.”

    NOAH:  (incredulous) “Rich on Tobacco Sauce????!!!”
      
    Shortly after noon, we finally conquered both sides of the Haiti/Dominican border.  There was a stop specifically for people with kids. Troy was very thankful for his Kreyol skills as he talked to the people at Haitian Social Services about our Haitian born kids.  While he was in the office a police officer came in to tease him that his daughter (Paige) spoke Kreyol better than him.   Talking through the story of our kids and answering questions about what we do in Haiti took about 15 minutes.  Once we were sufficiently questioned we were allowed to go to the border. (We didn’t know about that stop and Isaac was quite worried there.)

    The border took a long time. We were there for about an hour and thirty minutes. The frustration is that everyone would like to “help” you so they come to you as the expert and if you use their expert advice you are expected to pay for that advice.  Sometimes the advice kind of sucks but you still need to pay for it or argue about why you didn’t … arguing takes time, paying is sometimes easier.  There are a lot of people that attempt to intimidate you into believing that they are in charge. Usually they are not. For those 90 minutes Isaac was certain he’d be arrested even though he didn’t know for what reason. 

    We headed east. The scenery on that stretch of “road” is beautiful.  The kids were oohing and ahhing  over it all.  We figured out quickly that we had missed a turn and were taking a very long way around the giant lake by going north around instead of staying to the south.

    ISAAC: “This place is FULL of nature. This is like ancient movies, for example in Clash of the Titans … except this seems more hard.” 

    (We do not know what any of that means.)

    During a few of the missed turns and uncertainty along the way Noah (ever discerning) would yell from the back row, “We’re doomed. We’re gonna diiiiie.”  Neither of us were letting on that we were stressed  but Noah seemed to know and responded by amplifying everything a few notches. 

    Even though our kids did not have lunch or dinner and only ate crackers and oranges from 9am to 9pm they never cried or complained.  One bathroom we stopped at was too gross and Phoebe and Lydia just couldn’t do it. They made a choice to hold it.  We sat in traffic a loooong time in Santo Domingo. What we thought would take six hours took about eight and a half + . We awarded them “best road-trip kids in the universe” as we pulled into the parking lot of the place we rented.

    We had originally rented a place about eight miles from the beach. In late November we got an email saying “for very important reasons” we couldn’t have it anymore.  There were two weeks that went by without any idea where we might stay. Britt and Chris had already purchased their airline tickets straight to Santo Domingo, further complicating things.  Thankfully the late date ended up playing to our favor because unrented houses were being offered much cheaper.

    The place we ended up finding is the most beautiful place we’ve ever stayed.  We are in a gorgeous five-bedroom house for less than most nice hotel rooms cost per night. We’re 150 feet from the Caribbean.

    The Cuban man who owns it seems unmoved by the number of children occupying his space and sitting on his cream colored couches.  We immediately looked over the list of costs of breaking and replacing items in the home. We removed many decorative pieces. (Perhaps he gave us an amazing deal banking on the fact that we'd break his highly priced shell sculpture?) We showed the kids the list of costs and told them how much cash it would take to pay for any breakage of any lovely things.

    (showed/told is code for threatened bodily harm)

    We instituted a no wrestling rule; redirecting all rough-housing outdoors  …  'Rough-outside–the-housing' is the new name for that particular activity. 

    There is no amount of saying “I don’t speak Spanish” that seems to keep us from standing with someone nodding in confusion as they speak Spanish.  The natural tendency is to respond in Kreyol.  It doesn’t make for such great communication. 

    Thankfully we’ve already identified the Haitian employees on-site and begged them to act as our translators when we’re stuck.  One cool old Haitian guy came with us to show us where the grocery store was located. Nothing brightens up a Haitian face in the D.R quite as much as someone walking up and speaking to them in their heart language. A young guy from Jacmel is our new best friend early into day one of our vacation.







    Now that the stress of wondering what in the world we would do on the side of a rural Dominican road with six hungry and thirsty kids has passed, this vacation is an awesome & ginormous gift. Troy keeps telling the kids "We are blessed guys - can you believe we get to do this?!?"  TV's with channels (reception) are all the rage with our children.  It matters not that the Cartoon Network is in Spanish, the many, many channels and the flipping of them is enough to make them happy.  We're working on convincing them that the swimming pool sitting next to the ocean is also quite something.

    Britt and Chris get in on Friday. The excitement and anticipation of the brother(s) and sister(s) reunion(s) is building. 

    Tuesday, December 27, 2011

    road trip!


    We're about to take off on our first ever family road-trip across the beautiful and mountainous island of Hispaniola.

    We went to the D.R. as a family one other time in 2007 but used a very scary little airplane to get there.  This time around we're using our trusty old Hyundai truck and hoping for favor at the border. The paperwork to take a car across reminded us a little bit of the adoption process.  (Do this -go here - come up with this document that no one in the world would ever actually have - stand up - sit down - fight fight fight!)

    The kids have been looking forward to this since we decided in the fall that we would be meeting Britt and Chris in the Dominican Republic to ring in the new year.

    Here's to:  papers that are in order, tires that stay inflated, radiators that don't overheat, a miracle gifting of Spanish fluency for someone in the family, kids that don't whine, well-timed potty stops, and lots of family time on the beach!

    Saturday, December 24, 2011

    Merry Christmas







    The Work of Christmas 
    by Howard Thurman
    When the song of the angels is stilled, 
    When the star in the sky is gone, 
    When the kings and princes are home, 
    When the shepherds are back with their flock, 
    The work of Christmas begins:
    To find the lost,
    To heal the broken,
    To feed the hungry,
    To release the prisoner,
    To rebuild the nations,
    To bring peace among brothers,
    To make music in the heart.


    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

    Merry Christmas from Port au Prince.  God sent His son. We're thankful for this time of remembering the gift of Jesus. We pray that you (and we) will experience Immanuel - God with us - in fresh and significant ways this weekend and in the days and months ahead.  

    with hearts of gratitude,
    troy & tara & tribe

    Tuesday, December 20, 2011

    compiling statistics, loving women, thanking God










    As the last day of the year is quickly approaching, today I looked through the 70 files from 2011 that had been placed into the section of the drawer indicating that the woman was no longer pregnant. There are always 30 to 35 women pregnant that are in the Prenatal Program at any given time.  In 2011 70 women completed a pregnancy (one way or another) within our program.

    As I shared the findings with Beth and marveled at what I was seeing I said, "Thank you so much for your courage and your vision for this program. We're seeing that our stats are nothing like the Haiti stats."

    I loved Beth's reply.  She said, "It is God. All we do is agree to live here." Isn't that the truth?  Thank you Lord.

    Outside of the obvious goal of helping the women have healthy pregnancies, healthy babies, and safe deliveries, we also always hope to build relationship.  Every woman is known by name.  We get to know many of the women very well.  Some allow us to know them more than others.

    The statistics below share some of the numbers ... but the individual names and the unique stories and faces are what matter the most.  We're grateful to know these women. We're blessed to be given the gift and opportunity to walk with them through these important months of their lives.

    As we look ahead to 2012 we humbly ask for your continued prayers.  The recent grant award from Giving of Life will be set aside for the beginning of the new maternity center building.  The timing of all of that and the on-going need for funding for that project is in being trusted to God.

    From January 1 to December 20, 2011:


    • 70 finished their time in the Prenatal Program  
    • 28 of the 70 were  pregnant for the first time in their life
    • 2 of 70 ended in miscarriage prior to 16 wks
    • 2 of 70 ended in fetal demise later than 28 wks  
    • On six occasions there was more than one baby born in one day 
    • There were 66 births of living babies  31 Male & 35 Female 
    • 4 of the 66 gave birth at their home (by choice or accident)  
    • 16 of the 66 required a Caesarean Section 
    • Heartline provided transport  for 14 of 16 C/S (thanks for the ambulance!)
    Reasons for C/S in order of prevalence: 
    Preeclampsia/Eclampsia (7)
    Failure to progress/Prolonged labor (6)
    Prior C/S (2)
    Other (1)
    •  2  of the 66 had vaginal births @ hospital due to complications
    • Heartline Ministries Maternity Center delivered 44 babies   
    • Of 44 deliveries, more than half suffered from what could have been life-threatening complications had they delivered without care and postpartum care
    • One baby born alive in 2011 died (born premature, born to young mom at hospital - baby died at hospital within days)    
    •  Heartline provided postpartum care and weekly early childhood development classes for 66 women/babies 
      •  Innumerable (and invaluable) prayers from around the world were offered 
      • ZERO mothers were lost 
      •  One Great & Gracious God sustained and provided ~ We give Him all the glory and thanks
             



      Photos courtesy of Jonna Howard