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I am finding that people get really uncomfortable when they read that I admit to questioning God or that I am struggling with Him and working out the nitty-gritty pieces of my faith as a result of the earthquake. I have received the emails worrying that I am too far down the path of questioning or that I don't view God's sovereignty in the correct light. I truly appreciate that you want to tell me how you view God and how you deal with struggle ... I know it is meant from a heart of love. Here is the thing though ... this is between me and God. My faith journey is my faith journey alone. Like Sara Groves says in a song, "When I stand before the Lord I'll be standing alone. This journey is my own." I'm working it out with Him and growing and not growing and growing again at my own pace, in my own way. I cannot be where you want me to be and I don't need to be. I know God is so big and so loving and so EVERYTHING that HE alone can handle me and a billion more just like me and then some. He is not stressed out by me.
Because I blog openly about where I am in the struggle, I think people feel the need to correct me or fix me or tell me how to get to where they are faster ... but I just need you to know, I trust God to work this through with me. ALL the way through. I believe He will. I am waiting and while I am waiting I might be hurting - I might be angry- I might make you uncomfortable - but I am growing. I am on this journey and He's holding me and that is all I need. One last thing - if I ever think I have arrived - PLEASE - come smack me on the back of the head.
Yesterday we were able to share at a church in College Station (hey Aggies!) and even though I was not fully on board when I learned that Troy had agreed to it, I came away with an absolute sense of the love of Christ for me. We landed in Texas for this time of waiting and even though we're not truly Texans -- the people of Texas have treated us as such and have absolutely shown us A Jesus-variety-love. The people we met and spoke with last night were encouraging, understanding and loving. I just got the sense that they accepted us right where we are. For a first speaking gig post-earthquake I thought Troy held it together beautifully. Two teary break downs was about 32 less than what I expected. Thanks for having us Com. Church.
A local Baptist church is allowing us to use a house they own. The most beautiful thing about it is that there were no questionnaires or qualifying ... no one asked us to fill out forms and prove we were worthy. There was no concern about how we matched up with their views on theology or approach. That is so refreshing to me. They will know us by our love. This church just loved us, no questions asked.
Our kids are doing okay. From our perspective Phoebe and Lydia are insecure and freaky acting - and seem really unsettled; while Noah and Isaac and Hope are doing really well. Paige is with Troy and I just feeling things deeply. Fifteen is so stinking hard anyway ... she is carrying a lot and we're staying tight and checking on each other frequently each day. I can safely say that the uncertainty of the next few weeks and months is the hardest thing for us. We miss our regular life and are anxious to have it back. If there was some map laid out in front of us that said, "After you go here, you go here and then after that you will go back" -- that would be so much easier. The uncertainty is challenging. We like concrete plans - and right now we've got very few of those. Okay, none of those. So -- for Lent, we're all giving up our right to know what the future holds. (wink wink - that counts, doesn't it?)
Jen tells us that there is a strong possibility that Collette is coming off of the Comfort Ship and back to Heartline Hospital. Read Collette's story here (part 1) and here (part 2). She is not 100% sure of it yet, but it sounds very likely. We were SO pumped to hear that. There have been a couple others from that original group of 11 that have returned and it has been a huge blessing to Jen (and others) to see them come full circle. Jen and I talked last night about how awesome it is to be able to not just dump them on the next place and walk away ... there is something so beautiful about sticking with them through the recovery and getting to be a part of their lives as they heal.
Tonight Troy and Paige and Britt are off listening to Aaron Ivey and his talented band sing at a Baylor function. We had a really good day hanging with the Iveys. We first met them in early 2008 when they brought a team to the mission we were managing at that time. We've enjoyed mocking Aaron ever since. Paige gave their daughter Story a new/fun hair-do. The world needs more Paige. She's got skills.
Many of our friends in Haiti are telling us that beautiful things are happening right now. They are reporting a sweet, sweet spirit of praise and healing among the people. We wish we were there to see that for ourselves. It sounds amazing. There is a strong possibility that I will make a trip home late next week - hoping to get to see some of this joy and healing for myself.
A Twin Cities station did a few stories on the Heartline Hospital and the Minnesotans involved in the effort. They are linked here and here. Keep in mind that the leaders of this ministry have 20 years in Haiti and are from Boston and many volunteers from all over the U.S. and Canada have helped make the effort what it is, these stories take the local angle so lots of amazing volunteers and leaders are not shown or mentioned in the stories. The story below is more recent ... the Twin Cities FOX affiliate ran it a night or two ago. And this BBC story was interesting and compared other major earthquakes to the January 12 disaster.
Believing my Father will mend this,
Tara
61 comments:
Hey - Jacob wrestled with God and he got a chapter in the Bible. I'm pretty sure God can handle it!!
Love you guys!
Had not seen that Fox 9 News Report. Great one. Good to see everyone there and all they are doing.
And you work through things however you need to work through things. I agree, God is certainly NOT stressed out by you :)
So glad you are letting yourselves feel the full range of emotions and admitting it, instead of pretending that everything is okay to make other Christians just feel better (who have no idea what you've actually been through). God is A-OK with your questions and doubts, and I also love that song by Sara Groves. Your emotional journey of healing is what so many others NEED to experience to know God even better in the end. Reminds me of the book "The Emotionally Healthy Church" - prayers and love for you all on this journey...
He will mend....in His perfect timing....and you will be made stronger and more complete in His image. Bless you, your family, everyone you work with, everyone you love and the beautiful people in Haiti. None of you are forgotten.
Your journey with God is yours alone and you do it any way you wish. Don't let anyone try to interpret, or get in the way of your personal journey. You don't know me but I have been reading you blog after welcoming a Haitian grandson into our family.
Tara -
I became a Christian in 3rd grade. If I've learned anything in the inervening 40 years it's that God deals with us all where we are - and all he asks of us is our honesty and openness. Struggle and struggle - you will come out the stronger for it.
I miss being in Haiti - I long for it. Reading your posts helps me feel closer to those there that I love. Thanks for continuing to share, especially through the struggle.
Judy
I just wanted to say thank you. I am so blessed when ever I read your blog!
Hey Tara!
I found your blog through Kristen's just before the quake and have been reading and praying for you all faithfully since. It is a hard journey God is bringing your family through, but you are right- He is big enough to trust with all the emotions of the journey!
My pastor in Atlanta is preaching a series of messages that came to mind as I have been reading your posts... it is on "Songs for the Journey" otherwise known as "Prayers I've Never Heard Anyone Pray Out loud" from the different lament Psalms. They have been powerful reminders that God's big enough to handle the nitty gritty of our heart cries! If you want to check out the podcasts, it is www.lilburn4jesus.com
Blessings on you and your family!
LeeAnn
Thinking about you.
Tara,
I've never posted on your blog, but have been following it daily since the earthquake. My husband and I and seven children serve as missionaries in Thailand, and were in Laos previous to this.
Though I've not lived through any experience like the earthquake, the many troubling things we experienced with injustice and persecution in Laos completely threw me for a loop. A couple of years ago, I realized that I had hit a point where I wasn't sure that I believed anymore. Yeah, it was a scary place. However, in the back of my mind, I DID believe, and knew that God was big enough to walk through my questioning with me. It was a journey of several excruciating months.
You're normal, Tara, and will make it through. God's got your back and isn't startled by your questioning at all.
I'm praying for you.
Miriam
gentlyled@gmail.com
Thank you so much for your honesty and transparency!!! Be true to yourself! Christians do need to read this, so true, very, very true. It is good to question, that is what brings growth just as you stated, if you don't you stagnate!
Hoping you and your husband do more talks, maybe it will help both of you through your journey of healing....
Theresa
Huntington Beach,CA
Tara, thanks for posting the links to the news stories...it is wonderful to see you, Troy, the people in the clinic and the patients after reading about them on your blog for so long. Your posts, and Jen's, and others have enabled those of us who probably cannot make the journey there to better understand what you do and why this mission keeps calling you home. You don't know me but I found your blog through Kim Bentrott when they stayed with you, and have been following it daily. May God continue to bless the 9 Livesays as you have all blessed so many others.
Have been following your blog since way before the earthquake but have never commented before.
I love your honesty and openess but
most of all your love for the poor people of Haiti. God knows that your anger and doubts are because of this love you have for them and I am sure He would love you for that. God is God and we are humans with all our flaws all he asks of us is to walk in his shoes - be His Hands and Feet - and you are certainly doing that! You are a wonderful person and He knows that.
Take care of yourself and your lovely family. Regards Joan
Keep writing. Keep being honest. Keep grieving. Keep sharing.
NO ONE can tell you what YOUR walk with the LORD needs to look like. It is between you and the LORD.
I have been walking through an 8 month CRISIS, and when I get gut honest on my blog ... I get lots of the "oh no, she's lost her joy" type of comments. No ... I haven't lost my joy. Can't I have a bad day ... bad week ... bad month ... without it meaning that I've completely walked away from the LORD?
Hang in there. You have a LOT of people praying for you daily.
Hugs!
mama of 13
Thank you for being so utterly real. You're changing more lives than you know, even while you're away from Haiti.
I love you guys...all of you. Paige you are so beautiful. Tara, you remind me of myself. Troy, we all need to shed more tears and you are doing your part. :) love to all!
"I know God is so big and so loving and so EVERYTHING that HE alone can handle me and a billion more just like me and then some. He is not stressed out by me."
I love this (and the rest). Thank you for being honest.
Tara, You go, girl!!!!!!!!
Wrestling, questioning, Sara Groves, trusting, listening, journaling...good stuff. Healing stuff. Yours is a beautiful journey full of grace and truth...thanks for allowing us to be strengthened and encouraged through watching your process.
I love you and your honesty and openness! You are so right when you say it is a journey between you and God! God can handle it and he wants us to be open and honest and not fake. We ALL have to go through that journey and I love how you are willing to share it!
You are in my thoughts regularly, and I relate to your struggles. I was a missionary in Africa and loved it. We came home due to a variety of reasons, and my husband became increasingly something--angry?--and eventually abusive. I left in fear and he eventually filed for divorce. You can't compare pain, and I'm not trying to compare mine, but rather affirm with you the value of questioning and hurting honestly.
I lamented my way through sorrows, post traumatic stress (still working on that, though it's greatly lessened), burnout and day after day of not knowing how I was going to survive. In many ways, I've learned to lean heavier into the Lord. In other ways, it's a more fragile, honest, questioning leaning. I have discovered how very strong the Lord's arms are and how my flailing doesn't make him flinch or even come close to dropping me. I wrote a post once about hope, and how if I'm going to have any hope, it has to be one able to withstand the very real anguishes of reality.
My counselor's daughter called it "old people music", but even so, I highly recommend Michael Card's CD, The Hidden Face of God, as an accompaniment to lament. I cried my way through months of listening to that CD. In fact, I was a little chagrined when I realized my 4-year-old was requesting her favorite song about falling tears being older than the rain! I really did struggle, wondering if I was scarring my kids for life because I was in so much pain and doubt for so long. In the end, I came to a peace that my struggles would not destroy the Lord's purposes and plans for their lives, and if anything, perhaps it would be helpful to them to see firsthand that one really can love the Lord and cling to Him deeply while questioning Him fiercely and drowning in sorrow.
Prayer is still something I struggle with--knowing what to ask for and wondering how much it matters. But my heart does cry out the things I feel for you in your time of hurt and uncertainty to the Lord, and though I don't have a lot of confidence how that translates into His provision for you, I trust that He will be faithful and close to you through these dark days. Sorrow is a God-wired-in-us response to sorrowful situations, as much as physical pain is a God-wired-in-response to painful stimuli.Certainly God knows that, and there is no shame in the responses you are having in mind and body to the traumas you have endured (and continue to endure).
Thank you, Tara, for reminding us that we all have our own unique journeys and relationships with God. As always, my prayers for you and your big, wonderful family as you work through this. All the best from SC!
Troy & Tara,
I too have been reading your blog almost daily since the earthquake and I can't thank you enough for allowing even strangers to walk along on this journey with you, messy and all.
I just wanted to drop a link to a great blog that a friend of mine writes. He's a counselor, and he's the real deal. He's been doing a series about emotions that I think would be encouraging to you.
Feel free to pass it up! I've just been feeling an urge like this is the kind of stuff that more of the church needs to be paying attention to. It serves as a truthful alternative to a lot of the well meaning, but terrible advice that gets cycled around.
http://timcourtois.wordpress.com/2010/01/18/why-do-we-have-negative-emotions/
I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your struggles. When God shows me people who have such a strong faith but still have struggles in their faith walk, it assures me that I am not alone.
Thank you for your thoughts, it was only when I realized that my walk with God did not have to resemble anyone elses that I was able to move forward in faith..because I am so imperfect and so different that I need to know that I can be all those things and still be loved, individually...God Bless and Keep you
Amen sista! God is big enough to handle your grief, your questions and your doubts. Having the courage to voice them openly and to share your heart doesn't stress God out...it makes him proud of you. He knows where your heart is and that you love Him. He's not big on phony christain facades.
God Bless you as you navigate an uncertain future.
You go, girl! Keep asking, keep writing, keep working through it.
Amy
Thanks so much for sharing; even though you are going through such a difficut, uncertain time, you are still an encouragement to so many people with your honesty and faith. Praying for you and your family,
Ellen
PS: maybe I've missed it, but you haven't talked about Annie lately - where is she now?
Annie is with her family! :) We were blessed to care for her for two years but she is now with her forever Mom and Dad. :)
Tara,
I don't know you, and I'm honestly not sure how I found your blog, but I enjoy it a lot. God is working with you and for you, and there are no questions that are too big for God to answer. I'm a pediatric cancer survivor, and it took me a while to get over my anger with God. In the end, I realized that God's answer to Job is God's answer to me, and his answer is this, "I am the point of life." We sometimes get lost in the details of life, but in the end, it is our Lord who is the point, and our love for the Lord should compel us to love others, yet He is the center.
God will certainly teach you and show you what He has for you. And I think you get understand this, but he might very well use some of the people who are emailing you to help in the process. For God is the head of the Church, and those in the Church are the hands and the feet of the Lord on Earth (even if we don't always seem like it). Thanks for all you have done, and for your willingness to write so candidly. God bless!
Ethan Helm
When you throw out the big questions I think, "Oh thank goodness I'm not the only one!" Watching you serve Him while still being confused by Him sometimes is such an encouragement. Gives me hope for my own life and ministry!
Me, here. I commented on yesterdays blog about the sovereignty of God. Although, it wasn't my intent to wallop you with the character of God & His benefits in being sovereign, I see that it wasn't helpful. I'm sorry. I retracted it as not to cause more pain. A good reminder to be more gingerly & timely with words especially when people are hurting. Really, sorry. We've followed yours and the RC's blog for years now. Thank you for openly sharing your journey and for serving with the love of Christ.
-andrea schmick
Tara, I appreciate your honesty. From reading your blog I get a sense that you are a strong woman with a very rich faith in God. Questioning God or being angry doesn't change that.
I was brought up to believe that we should never question God because it showed a lack of faith. I thought that if I questioned God that I was putting myself on some outer edge of the universe and one more question would send me over into the awful unknown. This didn't do me any favors.
God knows how we feel and think anyway so there's no use in pretending to make someone else feel better. I think God is big enough to handle our ?'s and anger.
I hope you continue to feel safe enough to blog your true feelings. Even though I've never met ya'll your family is becoming dear to me, and I feel like I want to protect you from stupid comments (even if they come from well-meaning people).
Thank you for your words. I identify greatly with what you are saying. Our 8-month old daughter (our first child) passed away this summer and, in the ensuing months, I have felt many of the same things you have expressed here. I don't mean to compare our tragedies as they are intensely different, but the death of my daughter has caused a great faith crisis for me - it necessitates a redefining of my faith. And it isn't pretty and black-and-white. It doesn't jive well with the order and control that our Western culture prefers. I am so tired of and frustrated by people who cannot hear me when I say I am struggling with God and my faith. They refuse to hear me and instead respond with things like, "It must be such a comfort to know she is in heaven without suffering now." They fear that I am abandoning my faith, when, in fact, the opposite is true. If I was going to abandon my faith I would have done it months ago. Rather, I am trying to integrate my experience into it and be true to my feelings and who God has made me. In fact, I think that to deny those feelings would stunt my healing and my faith.
Thank you. I applaud your honesty and your work in Haiti. You are a strong woman - that shows in your struggle.
I love your honesty and thank you for it. I'll admit it. I'm not a follower of an organized religion. My reasons are my own but I still believe firmly in the existence of God.
If anyone questions your questioning of God, I'd feel sorry for them. Why? Because if they no longer question Him, then they are no longer learning or growing.
In my opinion, a Christian's (or any other religion) journey with God is much like that of a child's journey with a parent. How does a child learn and gain strength from a parent? They observe, talk with, question, show emotions, and do any number of things.
If you stop doing any of those things, you're no longer as the child should be to the parent. Like I said, that's merely MY opinion and nothing more.
It also saddenss me that anyone should pass judgment upon you for going through this struggle. How many of those that may sound condemning in nature actually experienced what you did? How many lived through it at "Ground Zero" and not just through what the media, blogs, and word of mouth gave? Unless any of them have endured the same heart wrenching experience, I don't know if they can qualify themselves to pass judgment against your feelings and struggle. I certainly can't. I have been troubled by what I've seen through different media. I couldn't imagine living through it first hand.
Keep your head up and your heart filled (which I think you do both very well!) and you shall overcome this challenge as well!
still praying!
Tara, I agree with the poster "Heather". It's so good to know others question too! I am also a firm believer that questioning shouldn't be seen as threatening one's faith but rather a strengthening and growing time with God. Our pastor once told me (of a friend seeking God), that he would rather see a believer that has questioned, than someone who's faith comes blindly from another person. I have a lot of questions right now for God (just finishing going through an attack of "shingles' and finding out my father-in-law has cancer), but I know he won't mind my questions. Praise God that he has instilled in you the knowledge that it's okay to question and wrestle with him. Hugs as you go through it all.
I've been following your blog since the earthquake, and I too must say that I deeply appreciate your openness and honesty! God IS Big enough to handle your questions!
Praying for you today.
Tara Livesay.
you. are. the. bomb.
oops, I was logged in on my son's site. Sorry about that. just sign me, Ben's Mom :-)
God wants all of us to be open. Nothing wrong with that. He sees and knows your concerns. I know and you know He's there. My husband and I moved to Minnesota from Iowa now two years ago. We began going to a church(New Day in Elko-New Market). Every year the church has a group of people who go to Haiti on a mission trip. It was there I learned of the poverty and struggles of Haiti. Christs' love shines through each one who gives there time and energy. God bless you and your family. Your there. You've been there. Helping, praying, giving.
Your father will mend this! There is nothing wrong with working through this with Him and Him alone. Sometimes it's only God who can answer our questions and grow us in His truth. Sending my love and prayers. Laura Cochran
Wow, I was down for the count with pneumonia for the last couple of weeks and just caught up on all of your blogs in one sitting...phew! I am not a Christian, I am agnostic, and although I deeply respect all religions, I am also steadfast in my own religious views. I understand how it feels to have well-meaning friends and strangers alike try to set me on the "right" path and it is definitely a bit of a challenge learning how to be understanding and respectful of others' views while being able to stay strong and feel confident in your own beliefs. You will find your way; of that I am sure. On the Haiti note, I am so glad that there are those who are still blogging and talking about it. I don't know anyone now personally who talks about it. I did get an email from Exxon the other day replying to a request I sent to them after the quake to start sending much-needed diesel fuel to the smaller NGOs. They said that they don't give to individuals. Ok, that made no sense. I fluctuate between anger, sadness, a deep hurt, and a hopefulness that one day the real healing will begin. I watched Miss Jolie, may I emphasize, Miss, discuss not adopting Haitian children and keeping them "in-country." I agree with you, who in the world is she to talk? Unreal. I understand the need to remain culture-bound, but being raised in impoverished, over-crowded, ignorant conditions does not a patriot make. I feel for this generation of children.
Your in my thoughts and prayers....
and I'm believing with you....
We are the clay, and you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. Isaiah 64:8
God's fingers can touch nothing but to mold it into lovelines.
George MacDonald
Tara & Troy,
I have been following your blog since the day after the earthquake and it is really the only source of info (besides our church's connection in Haiti) that I am following about Haiti. I am praying for you as you come to mind and just want to encourage you as you struggle through the tough questions. I have been asking God a lot of hard questions lately too, especially since it is so hard to wrap my brain around the magnitude of suffering and sadness that is going on in our world. I have asked Him and asked Him WHY must children starve and suffer and live without someone to tell them they are special and loved, and in my heart, He has been quiet. But, I am learning to trust Him more deeply in the things I don't understand. And I am asking Him to please use me and my family to help whenever there is something HE wants us to do...and I am learning to wait on Him to shine His light on the next steps. That is all you can do...trust, wait, and rest in your Heavenly Father. He is strong enough to handle whatever you can throw His way. THanks for your honesty and sharing the lives of the Haitian people with all of us ...they are in my thoughts and prayers every day.
Sandra Bennett
Tara, I am sort of like you. I get mad at God from time to time and to be honest I don't mind telling him that I am mad at him for the way something in our lives is going. People used to tell me that I really needed to be careful of how I "talked" to God. Well in Isaiah 9:6 the Name of Jesus is "Wonderful Counsellor" and the Characteristic of a Wonderful Counsellor is that He "Totally understand us". So just always remember that God created you so He "Totally Understands You" He knows your heart and he hears your heart. God can always deal with an honest heart and for you to sit and do nothing but smile and say all is well would not be an honest heart for you. Just keep telling God how you feel and he will understand and help you through all you have been through.
Roberta Arnold
Thanks for your words of love ... I want to clarify that I really do know that those that wrote me concerned or bothered still meant only love and help ... I have received very few emails that caused hurt or left me feeling harshly judged. No need to defend me ... people are generally very gracious and even when they are not I am attempting to remember that I cannot read tone in an email and don't know them anymore than they know me. It's all good.
you can't run through this. don't even try. it takes a lifetime of time. i remember falling back on the word "soveriegnity". i don't have a dictionary definition but for some reason it helped me. just walk and show yourself grace.
great post....He is not stressed by me either!! Love this!
"The typical expression of opening friendship is:
What? You too? I thought I was the only one." -C.S. Lewis
That's how I feel when I read your post's of your emotions on your journey..... "I thought I was the only one". Thank-you for your honesty.
Praying for your family.
Praying for you and all who witnessed this horrible quake and are questioning! How could one not question aftero the things you and everyone there has experienced. My pastor once told me in my despair while questioning God to "Fake it till I made it." I thought it was about the most heartless comment ever made. But I did, I faked it good for about 6 months, feeling frankly nothing but anger towards God for what had happened. In the end he gave good solid advice... but as a woman I would have said, keep doing what you know until it comes to pass and it will come to pass.
Blessings and prayers to you and all who experience such tragedy!
I love your honesty and find it refreshing. And as for Lent, I think you and all of Haiti get a pass for, like, ever. As for the rest of us, I know a lot of people who are taking their fast this Lenten season and using the money saved to give to those in Haiti. May God keep blessing you on your journey.
p.s. I love the word picture of healing being more like a zig-zag. So true.
I love your honesty! Still praying for you. Keep working it sister and keep writing it down!
it is so refreshing to read your journey as you struggle and rejoice. i truly appreciate your honesty. thank you!
Continuing to pray for healing and direction for you and your family!
Hoping that Collette does come back to Heartline. That would be wonderful. I'm still praying for her and baby Esther! :)
Tara- I have been following your blog since the earthquake when CNN linked to it from their homepage, and I just want to encourage you today. Two summers ago, my husband and I lost a baby and I went through quite a spiritual struggle trying to accept and come to terms with it. My perspective was, and still is for that matter, that if God is who he says he is, He already knows the questions and anger in my heart, and He can handle it! Who was I trying to hide it from? Like God doesn't know how you feel and you can gloss it over for Him to make Him more comfortable. Right.... I figured if He is who He says- then He is excited for the opportunity to show me even more his sovereignty and love. He didn't let me down either- He met me exactly where I was, and answered all my questions- and now my faith in Him is greater than ever.
Grief and anger are never pretty- but if we are to "comfort people with the comfort we have received"- then how will the lost ever know about working through those doubts and pains, in faith, and coming through victorious-- if Christians never go through the process? I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
One thing that has been very healing for me is Steven Curtis Chapmans latest album- Beauty Will Rise. The music and songs are so real, raw even, but overall filled with hope and trust in the Lord. I encourage you to check it out--
Much love from a sister in the Lord-
Wendy
Thank you for your honest venerable writing. I find that many Christians feel happiness is the ultimate goal. That's just crazy yuppy talk. (Dylan)..
Anyway, I struggled and struggled until someone gave me a tape from Jill Briscoe. It encouraged me to embace today and the mood that came with it. To stop the constant striving for better, happy or different. To look at each season as a gift and an opportunity to grow in grace.
So dear friend. Today...I am thankful for the honest voice that knows that your salvation was made complete from a death on a cross...not at all lovely, but complete.
Through that time I have two verses I clung to and continue to cling to..
Hebrews 2:10
For it was fitting that he, for whom and by whom all things exist, in bringing many sons to glory, should make the founder of their salvation perfect through suffering.
and Job 11:13-20 These are amazing verses with amazing promises. They brought me through a large trauma.
Praying for you today.
tara and troy,
i read your post today...and i thought...wow. you get it. i am so blessed by the words you wrote about the struggles of staying in haiti and living here...i can't imagine your grief..and yet, i believe He is there...with you. with them.
many good intentioned people will say or have said some interesting things to you all...kind of like a funeral when you stand in line thinking what to say...and you hear..."God needed another angel"..."it was God's plan for you right now"...all the things that are not true. the truth is just what you wrote...God is writing your story..He is the ultimate healer...He is holding you...i am praying for you. it is an honor to read your blog... a true honor to pray for you all.
love,
amy
God may not be stressed out by you but I'm pretty dang sure He is amused by you. I think He occasionally leans over to Jesus and says, "What do you think she'll do next?" And Jesus says, "Only God knows." And then they give each other a little wink and a chuckle. Yep. They like you a lot.
Always praying for you guys....always moved and touched by what is posted...HE can I assure you handle any and all things brought before Him...my thought is what is the journey if HE speeds us through it...when He talks so much of endurance and staying steadfast....
Wow. I came across your blog by accident in my search to read and understand the Haitian culture better. Recently went to Haiti with a medical team for a week. Haiti captured my heart. Came home...can't get the people, the country out of my mind, my heart. Received so much healing in my own heart by just being there a short time.
While driving through the country side in Haiti I felt God strongly say, "I'm holding you, I'm holding them" so I loved when you said in this post that He is holding you. It's true. Thanks for the reminder.
I am returning to Haiti in a week for another short week long medical trip.
interesting tidbit: we live in Waco, Tx! Small world, I guess.
Thanks for the blog.
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