The photo has little to do with the topic of tonight's blog. That guy there is my newest nephew, his name is Porter, which is also my maiden name, Paige's last name and a generally tough sounding name.) Porter misses me. You can see it in his eyes. What's worse than that though? I miss him. I am missing his entire baby-hood. I never get to smell his hair or kiss his cheeks. I really dislike that. A lot.Another thing I dislike, is running in Haiti. Running has been one of my very favorite things to do for more than two years now. Haiti went and wrecked all of that for me. Between the ridiculously hot temps, the treacherous roads, and the staring, the constant, impossible to ignore, staring ... I have lost my fun hobby; it is now just exercise. Blah.
Today I pulled off 8 miles on the treadmill. That would be impressive, except that it is not. Supposedly I am running a marathon in late January, yet my training has taken me nowhere near the mileage I need to be logging, just 11 weeks from the race. I force myself to run at least every other day, but I am struggling with forcing myself to run for two or three hours like I need to in order to be ready for Miami. I blame Haiti. I'm not saying this because I'm bitter, only, I am a little bitter.
I did not know there would be a baby when I signed up for this race or I never would have. So, my decision about Miami will be based on the baby. If the whole nursing thing works out (which is going to be cool and weird all at once) then I will not be going to Miami to torture an unprepared body with 26.2 miles of running. I will stay put in LaDigue with my little brown nurser. I will disappoint my friends and I will forever hate that. But, you know what, if it works I am going to enjoy my baby and give myself a pass this time around. Noah was a baby for all of three minutes and I am not allowing myself to miss any precious moments with this baby. (Actual moments, not the cheesy porcelain statues that I will never admit to collecting at one time in my life.)
If the nursing fails, that will be sad - but what will be sadder is that I will have to go to Miami and run 26 miles totally under-trained. Pray that nursing works. I need a solid excuse.
I am so stinkin excited to meet this new little chickadee.
And now, the post that I WISH I had written. It says everything I think and feel only it says it better then I could. Check it out. The marathon training and running I did with my sister in 2005 played a huge role in what has happened in 2006. This Kenya missionary explained it so well. It points out to me even more how God was working on us and preparing us for our time here, long before we knew it.
-Tara
